Weekend Update

Friday night was movie night at Todd's. Although, I was the only guest, so it was really just hanging out. We walked down to Westwood Village beforehand so I could look for shoes and pick up something for a bridal shower on Saturday. Then I surrendered and watched Star Wars. For the first time. I think it's cult of somesorts. It was good, but I think I just missed the whole Star Wars curve, so a lot of it was lost on me. But I did it. I watched the whole thing.

Saturday morning, I drove allllll the way down to Covington for a bridal shower for one of the gals I have dinner with once a month. It was a small gathering with games and cupcakes and presents. Some people played it safe and got the bride a cheese grater or a waffle iron.

Oh, but not me. I am the raunchy comic relief of the group, so I have a reputation to maintain.

I got her The Art of Lap Dancing. Picked one up for myself, too.

After the bridal shower, I headed to West Seattle. Todd and I had plans to watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch (he'd never seen it!), but I needed to kill some time, so I hung out at Westwood Village, my new home away from home. And I might have accidentally bought a pair of goldish strappy heels. Oops.


They're good, right?

After the magical experience that is shoe shopping, I met up with Todd. He took me to din din at the Celtic Swell, down on Alki, then back to his house to watch Hedwig, which he just loved. And why shouldn't he? Movie dude that he is. I felt all superior pointing out the little behind the scenes things and quoting it under my breath:

"He loves me, mother. He's going to get me the hell outta here!"

And today, I have been muy unproductive. It was cold and overcast and I just couldn't seem to get out of my jammies. I did get the bathroom cleaned, since Jessica will be here tomorrow night, but that's about it. And that took two hours. I kept getting pulled back to the couch, where I would lay down and watch the Weather Channel. Love the Weather Channel.

Jamie came over around 5 and we walked down to the India Bistro for dinner. That was my big adventure for the day. I say, woohoo.

Now, I'm sleepy so I should go to bed. The freakin' birds woke me up at 6am and while I just love spring, I do not love all of the birds that were chirping at daybreak right outside my window. Don't they know some of us like to sleep in on Sundays? Ack.

There's No Denying It Now

I think a self portrait makes it official.

Drumroll please......

Todd and I are dating.

[applause]

To be honest, I'm still wrapping my head around it. And he is well aware of this. It's more change. Good change, but change nonetheless. I just got used to the fact that I can be alone without turning into a sobbing ball of goo. I can be single and happy. What growth!

And then completely out of the blue, when I was least expecting it, this giant of a manly man who makes me laugh until my throat hurts crosses my path and wham. Instant Nora Ephron movie.

It's funny how these things work.

Latest Obsession

I know, it's hard to keep up with all of my obsessions, but since we're out of boot season and into strappy sandal season, here's my latest I-want-it-so-bad-I'd-give-up-cocktails-for-a-month.

P R E T T Y.

Because I don't have silver strappy shoes, that's why, and I need them to complete the ensemble that I plan on wearing soon. Cause I'm all about the ensemble.....it's like presentation.

These would only be....oh.....let's see.....carry the two.....um......

28 happy hour margaritas.

I bet Jamie could do the math.....

Free Ballard Day!

(Notice how I'm conveniently glazing over all the recent blog activity? La la la...can't hear you...buffer zone...la la la...)

Today is Free Ballard Day! MyBallard.com has some good links to help those of you not from 'round here understand all those Free Ballard bumper stickers and t-shirts. Today, we Ballardites shall wear black and ponder, just how important is clean drinking water?

Let my people go.

Wednesday Night Special

Jessica is not just for Mondays anymore.

She's staying over tonight since Monday was a holiday. And she would like me to let everyone know that we are intelligent, educated women who DID NOT watch Gossip Girl tonight (only because it's not on tonight), but instead had a very intellectual conversation about the ballet.

Jessica: "I would very much like to go to the ballet, Rae-rae. I very much enjoy the ballet."
Rae: "Fabulous, Jessica. Let us enjoy the ballet together. We are very educated. We do not enjoy tweeny little shows like Gossip Girl."
Jessica: "Hear, hear, Rae-rae."

See? We are very cultured.

We did watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which brought our culture level down a couple of notches, but oh well. Whadya gonna do?

According to the Stranger, there is a belly dancing show in Fremont next Monday night. We may attend that (since Gossip Girl had it's finale last week and is now re-runs).

When Blogs Collide

First and foremost, it appears that I have some new readers.

Welcome, new readers!
And my apologies for so few posts recently.

Since my personal life (see: Todd) has been ramping up lately, I haven't been as diligent (see: bored) as in the past when I would blog about what I bought at Bartell's, how wonderful my vacuum cleaner is and the fact that SOS pads made me homesick.

And maybe that's for the best.

But I'm also in a "buffer zone", so I'm not ready to tell you much about my new friend just yet . I need a little time to wrap my head around this sudden change in my life. Normally, I would be digging for the pretty pink pills and curling up in a ball on the couch at the thought of OH MY GAWD MORE CHANGE.

But not this time.

This is good change.
This is a new chapter.
This is a clean slate.

This may be what I've been waiting for.......

Movies, Milo, Lingering OCD Symptoms and Instant Gratification

One of the side effects (she says with love) of hanging out with Todd (formerly known as Tbone, which was getting a lot of questions, so we're sticking with his real name from here on out) and his bonafide Movie Friends is that I'm getting exposed to a lot of movies that I've never seen and in some cases, never heard of.

That is one helluva sentence.

The Friday night movies this week were The Specials, with Thomas Hayden Church whom I just love, love, love, and Free Enterprise, which was hysterical, although I think I missed some of the references because I haven't seen a lot of Star Trek and Star Wars and those other star movies. Then last night, Todd and I went to see The Visitor at the Harvard Exit. Very good. A bit bleak, but beautiful.

I also got in some Milo time in yesterday afternoon. Such a cutie.

The baby meter has officially exploded.

Today, I finally grocery shopped. And it took two hours. I couldn't make a decision about anything. I hate those moods. I also found myself straightening the items on the shelves. This tells me I need to take some me time and relax a little bit. Lots of stuff rolling around in the old noggin, apparently.

After grocery shopping (you're just enthralled at this point, aren't you?), I toodled around the house, doing some random projects that I just haven't been able to get to lately. Printed out some pictures, put some other pictures in some frames, swiffered my desk. And then I ran across a coaxial cable and remembered that I had been meaning to check my cable outlet. Rumor has it, I might have free cable.

And whadya know?
I have free cable.

Slight rant:

This would have come in very handy during football season. This free cable includes FSN and ESPN. I could have been watching Monday Night Football, dammit! And most of the Seahawks games were on FOX. I wrestled with rabbit ears for five months! Double dammit!

Anywho, my cable cord is too short, and I can't have my TV just skootched in the middle of the living room for the sake of a clear picture. So I walked down to Radio Shack (it's 70 degrees and sunny as all get out here!) and bought a 25' cable. Instant gratification. Love that.

And it's only Sunday! I have a whole 'nother day off!

I feel like a cat. I just want to lay on the floor in the patch of sunlight and take a nap.

Hmmmm
And why not?

Oh, Happy Weekend!

And we're off! Three day weekend! Woohoo!

Got out of work early. Actually, I asked for the day off but I guess that was pushing it. So I left at 12:30pm. Good enough!

And my weekend began with five, count 'em, 5! loads of laundry. I like it better when Fremont Maytag does it. It's taken up my whole afternoon. To keep occupied, I watched Tombstone since it's been a topic of conversation with Tbone and his friends recently. I love that movie.

One of my favorite quotes? And there are so many.....
Doc Holliday, who has TB, to his gal, Kate, as she gives him a cigarette:
"It's true. You are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist."

And now getting ready to head out to movie night.

Tomorrow, maybe lunch with Jamie. Maybe some grocery shopping (I'm down to eggs, a block of tofu, pickles and whipped cream. I can't find any recipes for these ingredients.) Need to get in some Milo time at some point this weekend. Sunday night is a work friend's party. And Monday....hmm. I don't know. There's enough going on, so I'm sure something will pop up.

Then back to my closet of an office on Tuesday.
Work dread has already set in. Crap.

But until then! Wheeeeee!

I Got Nothing

Because my back is pinched and I'm uber cranky, I have nothing for you today. Must have been all that hair tossing yesterday.

So I give you Glen and Marketa. I love this version of "Into The Mystic". And watching/listening to Glen just makes me wanna wail.

My Hair Hurts

On my way to work this morning, I remembered that I failed to order coffee for our 9am faculty meeting. Big boo boo.

So I used my feminine wilds on the catering staff and batted my eyelashes and tossed my hair and begged and pleaded for coffee and donuts for our meeting, with a mere 40 minutes to spare. Gotta keep the docs happy.

But after all that, I gave the catering guys the wrong room number. Wrong floor number, too. I had run back up, commence the begging and pleading because they had already headed to the wrong room on the wrong floor and realized I screwed up.

And even though I had ordered coffee, I knew I was going to need oodles of my own coffee so I grabbed my purse right before the meeting, only to realize I didn't have my wallet with me.

Perfect!

Commence hair tossing and eyelash batting again. One of our techs was nice enough to loan me a couple bucks for coffee. I owe him.

And I have a lunch date, so there will be EVEN MORE hair tossing (I'm so dizzy) and a promise to return the favor soon.

Thank goodness I'm having a good hair day, huh?

And holy crap, it's already 11am!
Time flies when you're freakin' out all morning........

I Sold My Pony For Cocaine!

The season finale of Gossip Girl was tonight.
Go Serena! Bangs guy is HOT!

Now we're watching One Tree Hill. But don't tell Jessica I told you. She'll hit me.

I don't know what the hell's going on with this show but the blond guy is cute and the little boy is adorable. My baby meter is at 1000.74 %.

And there hasn't been a scene yet that doesn't have some kind of montage music in the background. The whole damn show is a montage!

"That's called a montage (Montage!)
Even Rocky had a montage (Montage!)"

And I bought Esther a pretty votive candle holder.
Cause I'm a giver.

* Jessica would like it noted that we do not normally watch One Tree Hill. It merely came on after Gossip Girl and we couldn't find the remote. We are not fans. But the montages are nice.

Jessica doesn't like it when I blog during our bonding time.

Best quote ever:
"I was afraid of the immensity of your love."

Jessica wants to be immense. She wants the greatness.

I'm buyin' the pony back!

My Apologies To Esther

Oh, karma is going to punish me bad for this one.

I have not yet confronted my upstairs neighbor. After last week, and my very cranky post about being awaken in the middle of the night, things have been very quiet upstairs. There were a few nights when I didn't hear a peep and thought maybe Esther had spent the night somewhere else. I jokingly said to my friend that maybe she ran across my blog and read about my frustration.

Ha ha.
This may be exactly what happened.

If Esther is anything like me - a google queen - she has found my blog.
Because I found her's. And her myspace page.

Yes, Esther and I have a few things in common.

And now I feel horrible.

I'm not a bad person, Esther. I'm not normally a bitch. Really. I was quick to judge and quick to be mean. And I'm sorry. I should have just come upstairs and nicely explained the situation but I hate confrontation, HATE IT, and the only time I can actually do it is when I'm angry, and then I'm hateful, and well......

Again, I'm sorry.

You've been very quiet this last week and I really appreciate it. As long as the music, the drum and the pillow talk aren't loud too early (before 9am) or too late (after 11pm) I'm one of the nicest neighbors you'll ever have. I even bake cookies for everyone at christmas.

Hope we can be friendly again.

xoxo

PS The distorted pics of you and your friend made me laugh out loud.

No, I Don't Have A Problem

I'm going out to lunch with a friend tomorrow, so I'm already looking at the menu at the thai place to see what I want. I love, love, love thai food.

Preparing a day in advance is bad enough, but I'm also sitting here eating lunch WHILE I'm preparing a day in advance.

Maybe I should think about starting up therapy again....

Weekend Update

Or, Damn It Feels Good To Buy Again!

But that's a little later....

Friday night, I attended movie night at Tbone's. Work was miserable, although I can't pinpoint why, so it was a good night to lounge around and zone out with movie, wine and nice people.

Saturday, it was 80 degrees and blue skies, so Jamie broke out her orange karman ghia!


Ladies a'shoppin!

After two hours at DSW shoes and walking around for twenty minutes in a pair of $90 black, Ralph Lauren heels that looked so fabulous on me Jamie said even SHE would do me, I walked away with only a pair of $25 flip flops. With beading. Because beading is right up there with the whole lacy-undies-isn't-just-for-special-occasions thinking. Apparently.

So we shopped until we were pooped, then I came home. And had a lovely evening with myself. Hitch was on. It's a good chick flick that gets me all optimistic about love and shit.

This morning, I had every intention of going to the U District Street Fair to see a couple of bands, including Thornton Creek, but then Jamie couldn't go and a street fair isn't something you do alone, so I stayed home. And I may have cried for just a second. I've been a smidge lonely the last few days, even with movie night and shopping with Jamie, so when my plan changed and it left me alone for the day, well, it made me sad.

But then I remembered I wanted to go to Goodwill to get some new shorts (because *ahem* mine are all too big) and that spurred me to clean out my closet.

I even got rid of some shoes. Shocking, I know. And yes, my fake leather pants are in that pile Sorry, Shaun. They're just too big now.

So I dropped off two bags of things at Goodwill. And came home with another bag of stuff. It's a revolving door. And even though I went there looking for shorts and little tank tops, I ended up buying two fluffy gray sweaters and a pair of gray cargo pants. Funny, huh? It will be cold again, so it makes sense in my head.

And speaking of gray:

See those gray hairs? It's like they all just sprouted up in the last six months. Baffling.

Where was I? Goodwill!

I also got a couple of red things for the boudoir.

And now we're at Sunday evening. The Simpsons are on the telly, and I'm starting to think about dinner. I should have gone grocery shopping today because the dinner options are limited. Chips with cheese melted over them (a favorite), edamame or goat cheese and crackers. Hmmm, decisions, decisions.

I have lots of soup.
But as you know, I hate soup.

You Know You're A Little Cranky When...

You're surfin' through all of your bookmarked sites and when you click on CuteOverload.com (which you've done 15 times already this afternoon and they just aren't updating the site quick enough for you) you mutter to yourself "If it's still a picture of that damn monkey with the kangaroo, I'm gonna lose it......"

Luckily, I was rewarded with ADORABLE photos of bunnies and kitties and puppies, oh my!

My day just got better.

"Destiny Is A Fickle Bitch"

Oh, amen, Benjamin Linus.
A-freakin'-men.

There's a W H O L E blog post I could write on this quote from Lost last night. But I don't need to, do I? It's pretty self explanatory, and I think everyone can relate.

Just when (you think) you've got it all together, Destiny/the Universe/Fate comes along and says "Oh, really? I don't think so......."

Speaking of Lost, this is just one of the reasons why I'm glued to the TV every Thursday night:

Keamy. 6'4". Manly man. Yum.

Where was I?
Oh yes. Destiny.

QUIT THROWING A WRENCH IN MY PLANS, YA BITCH!

Random Thoughts

The word "bullshit" is in a headline on CNN.com. For some reason, this shocked me. You just don't see that word on official news sites. Kind of like the first time they could say "ass" on a sitcom.

**********

Esther Update:

Esther has not been home for the last two nights. And if she has, she's not letting me know about it. I haven't heard a peep from upstairs. And it's been really nice.

**********

There is quite a battle for a certain parking spot in my lot at work. I've always parked in the same spot, up against a little flower planter area thingy. And then the maroon Honda Element parks next to me. And then red truck parks next to him. We have a system.

Then one day this big, new suburban was parked in my spot. Huh. Does she not know that I park here every morning? She must be new. And she also must arrive before 8am (and before me), because she parks there every morning now. It's screwed up the whole system.

Until last week, a brand new, even bigger suburban started parking there. And the smaller suburban was forced to park back in the corner. Ha! But still! It's my SPOT! Has been for two years!

Well, I got here early yesterday, and I beat them all. As I was getting out of my car, the bigger suburban whipped around and then realized that her spot wasn't open. I smiled at her.

But then I was late again this morning and I was forced to park back on the other side of the Honda Element.

**********

Yes, this is the most exciting thing going on in my life right now. Well, that I can actually blog about. My christ year is already proving to be quite interesting. Times, they are a changin'.

Stay tuned.......

**********

I've started wearing brown and black together. How do we feel about this? I'm undecided.

**********

Facebook annoys me.

I get this message that says "Someone has flirted with you on SpeedDate! Click here to see their message!" Well, of course I want to see who's flirting with me. But you can't see it until you invite 15 of your friends to sign up for this application. I don't want to do that to my friends. I just want to see the damn message!

So screw 'em. I got enough going on without some random weirdo on Facebook contacting me to say "Hey baby..."

**********

My 30 days are up! I CAN SHOP AGAIN!

But I shouldn't. I kind of like having a positive bank balance for a change. Oh, but I must celebrate. Somehow. Hmmm....

I'm thinkin' more undies. Nothing says celebration like lace!

Or nightstands.

**********

My Horoscope for today:

Yahoo:
This is a time to relish your personal freedom -- do something by yourself today.

Yep, all signs point to shopping.
Or a manicure.

I'm all about the signs....

Dear Esther,

WTF?

Things were going just fine since our little talk on Sunday.

Until 2:30 this morning. You and your man jumped out of bed, scurried around your apartment (waking Jessica up as well, who was asleep on the couch) and then proceeded to talk for TWO HOURS. At volumes well above what normal people would use at 2:30 in the morning. Earplugs could not drown out your man as he talked almost non stop, while you two apparently laid in bed. RIGHT ABOVE ME. Oh, he was on a roll about something. I ended up taking my pillow and blanket out into the living room and sleeping on the floor. Although, Jessica told me I should go up to your place and let you have it.

Esther, you have a very hard lesson coming to you. I don't have time to come speak with you tonight, but you can bet your ass tomorrow evening, I will be at your door. And I will send you down to my apartment, to stand in my bedroom, as I leap off of your bed and stomp around so that maybe you will get an inkling of what I deal with. I don't sleep well as it is and it does not help that you wake me up every freakin' night.

I have called the management office and warned them that I will be confronting you, once again, about these issues, in the event that you think I'm being a difficult neighbor. The management office has advised me to be aggressive, yet polite, in remedying this situation. Because once they get involved, it will be messy.

I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, Esther. I'm assuming you just don't know any better because you're used to the dorm life. Well, welcome to the real world, sweetie. I am not your den mother. I'm an adult paying a lot of money for my fantastic apartment and I will not let some twit like you keep me up every night and make me crotchety and bitter.

I look forward to speaking with you soon,

Your downstairs neighbor

My Pouty, Sexy Face

As captured at happy hour Friday night.

Which is very funny, because I was just telling someone about this face, only the story was about when I used it Saturday night at some cutie pies that were making eyes at me and Jamie.

Then I get photos from Friday night and, well I'll be damned, I used it Friday night, too!

"Original" has never been a word to describe me....

Who Knew Pink Towels Could Be An Opportunity To Grow?

It finally happened.
I turned my white bathroom towels pink.
Along with my white kitchen towel and all of my white hair towels.

I got permission from my neighbor to throw a load of laundry in, so I washed the huge pile of towels that's been accumulating for the past three weeks. I did think to pull out the red cloth napkins and the plaid napkins from the picnic backpack, but I thought the other towels were old enough that they wouldn't bleed.

Wrong.

All pink.

So I filled up the bathtub with bleach and water and soaked the two big bath towels, the wash cloths and the hand towel.

And then occurred to me.

I wasn't upset.

A year ago, this situation would have made me snap. I think my stress level was that high and I was that wound up.

Case in point: When I was still with The Ex, I washed (and dried) a load of laundry, completely unaware that that my red lipstick was still in the pocket of my jeans. There was lipstick on everything. And I cracked. Literally. The Ex came upstairs to find me standing in the bedroom, looking at the pile of laundry on the bed and just sobbing and saying the F word over and over. I felt like a failure.

For six years, I was trying so hard to prove that I would be a great wife. I was cooking dinners five nights a week, I was spending all of my spare energy keeping the apartment clean, I was taking care of the bills and going grocery shopping and managing our social calendar.

So when I screwed up a load of laundry, I felt like I disappointed The Ex. And don't get me started on my feelings of inadequacy when I almost burned down the kitchen trying to fry homemade won tons.

The point is, today, in this new life, I am not the least bit concerned about these pink towels. Yes, it bugs me, but I did not cry. I did not cuss. I didn't throw anything. I figure, I'll just go back to JC Penny and buy two more towels and two more wash clothes. Big deal. The bleaching helped tremendously, but they still have a tint. And that's just fine for now. No biggie.

It's funny how these little things that happen now make me realize how unhappy I was for so long. I was so wound up that I cried at laundry. I cried at full trashcans. I cried at having too many social engagements in one week. I cried. A lot.

So what if I turn the towels pink? I'm still going to make a great wife. If anything, I'll be more comic relief than one man can stand.

And if he gets upset at pink towels, well, then maybe I don't want to be with him anyway.

Happy Mother's Day!

I love these.
Some eCards -
"When you care enough to hit send"

Esther Has Been Confronted

And not by nice, pretty Raechelle either.
But by 8am-just-woke-up-against-my-will-seahawks-sweatshirt-didn't-even-brush-my-teeth-or-pick-the-crusties-out-of-my-eyes Raechelle.

Mad Raechelle.

I heard the music at 7:30am. Oh, for cryin' out loud. But I think I can still sleep, so I put in earplugs. They do wonders. Until the djembe starts.

Earplugs cannot help me when the djembe starts.

I, quite loudly, stomp up to Esther's apartment and, quite loudly, knock on her door. The music immediately stops. She says, "Who is it?"

I respond, without the least bit of friendliness in my voice (and you know how difficult that is for me *giggle*), "Your downstairs neighbor."

Esther opens the door, looking like she's going clubbing. Dressed in black from head to toe, high heeled boots on, her black hair, straightened and shiny. And more eye make up than I probably have in my whole arsenal of makeup. Why, is she off to church? I don't think so.

"Do you have djembe?" I ask.

"Oh. Yeah. Can you hear it?"

"Um. Yes. I'm right below you." I remind her.

"I had it on the floor and was just tapping on it."

"Yes, that's how a djembe works. And that would maybe be okay but not at 8am on a Sunday morning."

"And the music....?"

"I can hear it and again, probably okay. But not at 8am on a Sunday morning. How about not before 9am on any morning?"

Esther is now mortified. She has probably never lived in an apartment building in all of her 23 years. I'm thinking she's fresh out of the dorm where no one could hear her djembe over their music and everyone was just going to bed at 8am on a Sunday morning. Seems very likely.

Esther also doesn't have anyone living above her so she's not familiar with the concept of how sound and vibrations travel downward. Being a musician, you would think she would know this.

For the next ten minutes, all was quiet at Esther's. Then, as I began to type, I heard her leave. And literally tip toe down the stairs.

My job here is done.
Hopefully.

**Update**
I went back to bed and slept until 1:30pm. That'll show her!

Cause I'm A Giver.....

I gave out party favors at my birthday brunch-spa extravaganza.

The Presentation-Is-Everything Perfectionist strikes again.

I bought cute little magnets, one for each gal. They were all from the same line. This is the one I got Cyn. Mine says "I don't do perky."

Just wanted to scootch that uber-grrr post down a little bit.

Not A Happy Camper At All

I was supposed to go to CarPros this morning to have a new instrument panel put in. The odometer button is rattling and it drives me insane, especially when I'm already pissed off in traffic. Since it's covered under the warranty, I decided to be high maintenance and do it. So after my oil change a few weeks ago, I made the appointment for 10am this morning. Shoot me.

Except the next day, the rattling stopped. I assumed they inadvertently fixed the problem. I called them, said nevermind. And then the next day, the rattling started up again. I called them, said nevermind about my nevermind, it's rattling again.

Called yesterday to verify my appointment. Make sure we were all on the same page. Yep, there's my appointment. Perfect.

So I drag my ass out of bed at 8am, after not getting to bed until after midnight for the past few nights (I'm a crazy gal, remember?) and after having a few cocktails last night, only to get a phone call at 9:30am AS I'M WALKING OUT THE DOOR. There was some confusion will all the phone calls and well, they don't have the new instrument panel. "But we'll call you when it gets in to set up an appointment."

But. But.....
That's why I called yesterday! To confirm that I had an appointment and that I really did need to be up at 8am on a SATURDAY morning. Yes, some people are just magically up at this hour on a SATURDAY morning, but I AM NOT.

I've very upset.
So upset that I went and bought myself breakfast. Retail therapy. And I toodled around Ballard for a bit.

But now I'm home and I'm bored and I'm just mad again. I could take a nap, but I've already showered and straightened my hair, so if I nap, I'll have to redo my hair because it isn't as pretty after a nap and Jamie and I are going out for the gals' dinner tonight at 6pm and well, now my day is just shot to shit.

Happier post soon.
Promise.

I'm All About The Pearls....

Now I Know What They Meant

I wrote this for mom and dad in May of 2005. There's nothing else of interest going on right now, so I thought I'd share.

Now I know what they meant.
"Life is hard, you're still too young"
Too young to listen,
Too young to know wisdom when I heard it.
So off I went, miles from home,
To play the role of an "adult".
Ah, independence.
My space, my kitchen,
My coffee maker.
Out at midnight,
In a dawn.
Once.
The alone on Friday nights....
And Saturday....
I call home, I want my mama
She laughs, "I'll never say I told you so".
Instead, she mails a check.
Her own way of worrying.
Home on the weekend,
Every weekend now (just to do laundry).
Then back to my home, back to reality.
Back to bills, loud neighbors,
And constant sirens.
The city.
Daddy calls,
"Just to say I love you".
I cry afterwards.
The sicknesses come.
I play mama to myself.
She did it better.
Phoning home every night.
They can't talk right now, they're eating.
My TV dinner sits frozen in front of me.

Now home for good, the lease is up.
Secretly relieved,
Real life and I disagreed.
A twenty year old
Who aches to be a child again.
But missing that year, that year of independence.
Now I know what they meant.

I had a momentary lapse when I walked into my kitchen a few minutes ago.

I was thrown back to 1995, when I lived on Dairy Ashford on the west side of Houston. My first apartment. My brother lived about a mile away, so I still had a safety net of somesort, but it was MY PLACE. I moved in when I was 19. I remember my friend, Bob, coming over and saying, "Wow. It looks like a grown up lives here." I had matching bedroom furniture, a coffee table, a dining table, pictures on the bookshelf and a coordinated bathroom.

Grown.Up.

I had the allusion of being a grown up. But I was 19. I was incomplete.

When the lease was up, I moved back home. Re-grouped. Grew alittle. Met a guy, moved in with said guy....I don't know if I grew during that time. I was too busy partying. Said guy and I broke up, back on my own again. Maybe grew a little.

Then back home for a couple of months, then to Seattle. I think I grew on the way here, but then started partying again, so the growing stopped.

Met The Ex, dated, didn't dated, dated again, he moved in, he moved out, I moved in, we moved together, more partying, the allusion of growing, but really, no. No growing.

Broke up with The Ex, I sleep on this couch, I sleep on that couch, I finally find a home. I plant my feet.

Suddenly, HUGE friggin' growth spurt.

My head hurts.

This growing up stuff is SO much more complicated than I thought it would be.

Another Reason To Hate Raccoons

I was late to work this morning.
And no, it wasn't because of the margaritas last night.

It was because of a raccoon.

I woke up in the middle of the night and my clock beside my bed was blank. Power was off. Huh. Maybe I'm just dreaming.....

I hear Jessica (who uses her cell phone as an alarm) up and about and figure, okay, it's about 6:30am. My clock, however, says something like 2am. I'm very confused.

Go back to sleep.

Awakened by our favorite upstairs neighbor who has apparently gotten permission to install a basketball court in her bedroom. She's musical AND athletic!

I turn on the radio to hear Marty say it's time for the 7:20 funny. So it's 7:20am.

Crap.

All in all, only 20 minutes late. Not as bad as it could have been. Maybe I should actually thank Esther?

Jessica = Superstar

I love having Jessica here.
And it's not just because we party it up every Monday.

I got home from work today and was just in a funk. Blah. I blame PMS. I love my uterus! But after a margarita (okay, two margaritas) and some FANTASTIC mexican food at Senor Moose Cafe (five stars baby, five stars) things ain't too bad. Jessica distracts me from everyday life and makes me laugh at the stupidest stuff. She just will not let me be in a bad mood.

She also yells at me when I head over to the computer to email or grab my phone to text after we've had a couple drinks. She knows that's a bad idea. She's got my back.

"Rae-Rae! Get away from the computer! What are you doing? No, you can email him back tomorrow! Get back on the couch!"

I love just her.
But she laughs at my little ice creams.

What?! Six for a dollar. Portion control.

She's also gotten me hooked on "Gossip Girl" but she tells me I can't blog about it.

Shhhhhh........

(Rather Long) Weekend Update

I have had a shit load of coffee today, but my eyes are still heavy. My mind, however, is flying at 90 miles an hour. Crazy.

This was one of those weekends where I felt a-okay with the world. I felt grounded, loved, happy and thin.

Friday night, we had a going away happy hour for Nichole. She got a new job, about a block from her house. The twit. I'll miss her. Oh, I'll still see her at our monthly gal dinners, when she and her buddies drag me down to Covington or Tacoma just to eat. Only for Nichole. And food.

So, a quick happy hour, then off to my new friend Tbone's for a film - "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid". Which I had never seen before, even though I love, love, love Steve Martin. Since Tbone is a movie dude (in every sense of the word) and his friends are editors, actors, and other fancy movie type people, there was much discussion about the technical stuff. After a half hour of hearing "Wow, the editing is AMAZING" it occured to me that the scenes of the movie were spliced with scenes from old classics.

Quick, aren't I?

So, I fessed up and announced my ignorance about movies - which takes a lot of balls when you're in a room with Professional Movie People. I still haven't seen Casablanca, Gone With The Wind or Star Wars. I've never seen an entire Hitchcock film, except for Psycho. I HAVE seen the Godfather. I think.

Just wait. One of these days, the topic of vacuum cleaners will come up. THEN I'll get to show off.

After the movie, I had to dash because, you know, I'm so popular and cool.
(Just let me dream, okay?)

I headed over to McP's since he'd had a crappy day and needed some entertainment. We walked down to the Reading Gael to play some pool and I discovered, apparently, I don't need five jack-n-cokes to play well. I was kickin' butt for a while. I miss pool.

Slight tangent:
Speaking of pool and jack-n-cokes, I haven't been back to the Lock-n-Keel since the bottom of the barrel night in October. And I'm pretty damn proud of myself. If I'm in a shitty frame of mind and have a couple of glasses of wine in me, I start thinking I should walk down there because I know I'll get attention and feel all pretty. But I've refrained. Now, I just call Shaun. Poor Shaun....

Anywho, where was I?

Oh yes.

Saturday. It was a dreary day here, so Jamie and I met for lunch and lingerie shopping in Fremont. Pretty undies. A new weakness. I didn't buy anything, but when I'm shopping again, look out.

After lunch, I snoozed on the couch and watched Once, again. For the umpteenth time. It never gets old. The scene where they're recording in the studio inspires me. I want to play again.

That evening, the Sheauns and I went to see "Flight of the Red Balloon". McP read some good reviews and had seen the original so I went along, just to be social.

And oh, for the love of puppies....

I'm not a movie snob. Really. I don't know enough about movies to be a snob, as admitted above. I just have my little ol' opinion. But even McP and his roommate were in agreement that this movie was brutal. Imagine someone setting up a video camera in the corner of the living room and just letting it go for hours. The woman takes the bags into the kitchen, she's putting something away (there is no fluffy music), she puts something in the fridge, forgets something on the table in the dining room, so she walks in there.....

Kill. Me.

I kept waiting for something to happen. It felt like there was tension being built, but no. No tension. Just.....blah. Nothing happened.

All the while, there are these random shots of this red balloon that's following the boy around. Well, yippee. Maybe the red balloon will die?! Nope. Just floats around.

And the whole thing made me stressed. The flat was cluttered and filthy. The main character, Juliette Binoche, was scattered and disheveled. She would run her hands through her fried, bleached hair (poor Juliette) and it would just stick straight up. Oh, come on! Yer killin' me!

Shaun, however, loved it. He's an artsy fartsy french film lovin' guy like that. Sometimes I wonder why he's friends with me.

Then comes Sunday.

FREAKIN' BEAUTIFUL! Now, this, THIS, is what the weather is supposed to be like in May! Blue skies, 70 degrees, light breeze. Holy crap.

I cleaned for a while, then walked down to the Ballard farmer's market and met Jamie. And then my mood turned. Way too many people. WAY TOO MANY. And there were just a ton of morons on their cell phones, wandering around like zombies.

I would love to go through life thinking it's all about me. Completely unaware of my surroundings, thinking I am the only one who existed. My life would be so much easier if I didn't have any consideration for anyone else on earth, ya know? But alas! I have been cursed with this damn conscience that makes me AWARE. Ack.

This is the line that I will instill in my children:
Be aware. That's all I ask. Just be aware.

Unlike the line my father instilled in me:
I don't care what you do, just don't inconvince me.

Thanks, dad!

Crap.
Where was I?

Farmer's market. Right.

Since there were so many dipshits at the farmer's market, Jamie and I said "Screw this" and went to Lombardi's for lunch and a drink. And her new "friend" stopped by so I finally got to meet him. Very sweet. Nice dimples. She was all giggly and crap.

No, I'm not bitter. Why?

After a lovely lunch, I sauntered home. Although I was super motivated that morning, my energy level was a bit depleted and I found myself in my sweatshirt (but with shorts instead of my sweatpants!) snoozing on the couch again. I hate it when I do that on pretty days. Sometimes I wish I had a yard. I could piddle in the yard. Throw a blanket down and read. I could have walked down to the Locks and taken advantage of their grass, but I sensed the Locks would be packed (beautiful weather and all) and I just couldn't tolerate anymore people. There were no people in my living room. It was lovely.

And here we are - Happy Margarita Day! Jessica is staying over tonight and when I saw her this morning, I said, "I guess we have to go get margaritas tonight?"

Her response was, "Hell yeah!"

*sigh*

Oh, okay. I will have a margarita.
Sheesh.

Sustenance Vs Beauty

Boy, the Universe doesn't know me at all, does it?

ARIES (March 21-April 19): During the next month you might be more concerned with finances than with your personal appearance. You always want to look your best, but you might find that it takes extra funds to do so properly.

I would forgo food and cocktails if it meant getting a manicure at Habitude. I am CRAVING a manicure. Especially since I've been keeping my nails short in an attempt to play the guitar more often. Habitude makes them so red and pretty.

I didn't used to be this vain. Really.

As my family would say, I'm gettin' above my raisin'.

I Don't Think You Heard Me

I'm not really interested in taking a nap right now.

I had attitude at 20 months.

Do not mess with me.

Well, That Was Fun

I received my stimulus today (hee hee - "received my stimulus"). And I immediately transferred it over to my credit card balance.

Poof!

Gone. Just like that.

No Xbox, no TV, no bedframe... (*sniff*)

I PAID OFF DEBT!!

HA! Take that, George.

Esther Has A Drum

Oh, my neighbor just keeps getting better and better.

I stayed home today. The dizziness that hit last night is over and the headache itself is almost completely gone. I guess 16 hours of sleep is just what the doctor ordered. Well, maybe 14 hours of sleep. Because there was no sleeping this morning.

At about 9:45am I heard Esther's stereo come on. Fine, I thought. Actually, the first thought was "Does she not work? How does she afford rent?" Then she started singing. Still okay. Muted. I can handle it.

Then she started banging on a drum. A djeme from what I can tell. She's pretty strong for a little thing.

Half an hour later I heard one of the other doors slam in the building, someone on the stairs and then magically, the drumming stopped.

And I actually got some sleep.

It's been pretty quiet the rest of the day. So I got some solid hours in. Probably more solid than what I get at night.

But now, time to find food. I have awakened from hibernation and I'm famished. I must be on the mend.

Symptom?

I'm smelling vinegar. And there is no vinegar around.

Am I having a stroke?
Is this a symptom of a migraine?

This happens occasionally, but I've quit telling people. They look at me like I'm crazy.

I smell Krispy Kremes sometimes too, but that's just because Krispy Kremes are messy and I usually end up getting some on my keyboard or mouse.

**Update**
Apparently when film breaks down (or something) it emits a vingear smell. And we have old films in the room right around the corner from me. Mystery solved. And I'm not having a stroke.

Third Time's A Charm?

Or, Yet Another Migraine.

It's getting a little old now. The squigglies started as I was shutting down to go home last night and the headache hit a mere 15 minutes later. Right in the middle of the drive home. Which is quite scary. When those squigglies start, I have no peripheral vision at all.

Makes me think of seeing lightning, then counting until the thunder comes. I usually get about 30 minutes or so between the squigglies and the headache. They're getting closer together now. Does that mean my head will explode when they hit at the same time?

Mom's right. Time for a doctor's appointment. I went to the eye doctor two Fridays ago and he said it sounded like they were just (JUST!) ocular migraines, but if they start to happen more frequently (more than two in two months?) I should talk to my primary doctor. He also upped my prescription for my lenses and said I should start wearing my glasses when driving, watching TV or anything that takes any kind of focused attention. It seems that my eyes are very tired and strained because the left eye is weak and working really, really hard to keep up with the right. Damn left eye. He also said I have "very large" optic nerves and my pressure is on the high side normal. So, I have to go back in June for a laser glaucoma test. Whee.

The friends I've talked to who have migraines say that stress is a big factor. I think I am probably less stressed right now than I have been in the past two years. So what the hell does that mean?

I now chart them, along with what I'm eating that day and I'm finding no connection. Some people say it can be hormonal and related to a woman's cycle, but that ain't it either.

I blame the new brighter than shit marmoleum floor in the clinic. Damn floor.

Ooh. Would that be worker's comp?

Impromptu Picnic!

This evening, Jessica and I broke in the brand new picnic backpack for the first picnic of the season!

It was a beautiful day here and still about 58 degrees when we got home from work.


My goodness, I look tired. Must have been a long day.....


The BackPack.


Veggie burgers on spelt buns with chips and salsa.

And our view of the locks.

Happy 5 Year Anniversary Mom!

Five years ago, my mom had half of her left lung removed due to lung cancer. According to the American Lung Association, the expected 5-year survival rate for all patients in whom lung cancer is diagnosed is 15.5 percent.

Only 15.5 percent of lung cancer patients live to see their 5 year anniversary of diagnosis.

And my mother is one of them.

Pardon me while I cry.

I had started to go into the whole story of the surgery and sleeping in the hospital room with her for a week and the incompetent nurse that didn't even know that you could unhook the suction tube from the wall so mom could go to the bathroom and the whole epidural fiasco (they put it in the WRONG PLACE) and all the other sad painful memories that, honestly, I would just like to forget....

But then I thought, this is not the day for remembering those painful memories. We've been doing that for five years. This is the day to celebrate mom. And the fact that she's still with us.

So, raise your glasses!

*clink*

To my mama. I love you.

Homesick, Blue, Blah....

I woke up this morning and had a hankering for my youth. So I made Coco Wheats and watched Looney Tunes while wrapped up in my jammies and a blanket. Gossamer is my favorite. And this scene where Bugs is doing Gossamer's nails and talking about how monsters are so int-er-resting.

I think I'm homesick. That's the only time I crave Coco Wheats.

And while we're reminiscing, here's my very first coffee mug. Yes, I used to drink coffee out of it when I was a wee pup.

Today is gray. In many ways. Yes, the sky is overcast and there are a few raindrops on my window, but I'm just a little blue, too.

But K-Ski is coming over for dinner! I'm making enchiladas and we'll watch The Committments and get our Glen on. I do love me a red headed Irish boy.....

Haircut!

Nothing drastic. Still long. Not "mermaid" long, but it will be again by Halloween. Just "healthy" long.

And in all 12 pictures I took, my boobs look ENORMOUS. I tried to tone them down for you, but it just ain't happening. Flaunt 'em if ya got 'em, right?

Love, The Universe II

I forgot to bring lunch today.

I made an Amy's pizza last night for dinner and only ate half of it (I know! Only half!) so I was going to bring the other half for lunch. But in my morning routine of rushing around like a chicken with my head cut off, pulling my boots on while balancing my breakfast (english muffin and soy sausage patty) in my hand, grabbing keys/cell phone/iPod and hauling ass out the door with 50 lbs of wet hair flapping behind me because it takes too damn long to dry it all, I forgot to grab the pizza out of the fridge.

But the universe saw my dilemma and provided.

We had our monthly Admin Assistants meeting and because yesterday was Administrative Professionals Day (*ahem*) this meeting was catered. Little quiches, caprese, brownies and lemon bars. And while it doesn't sound like the best lunch, after 12 little quiches, a couple of disks of mozzarella and a brownie, I am well satiated. And I can bring the pizza tomorrow.

A good day, indeed.

Now What Will I Bitch About During Seahawks Games?

It's finally happened. Shaun Alexander has been released.

If you remember, dear reader, I've done a little complaining about him. Yes, he was great seven years ago, but he's just not the big star he used to be and Holmgren was having a hard time accepting that. He kept relying on Alexander and Alexander just wasn't producing results. And in turn, we were losing games.

Well, now he's gone. Whew.

I don't want to celebrate too much because 1) that would just be mean and you know I'm not mean and 2) I don't want to jinx it and have the two new running backs suck worse than Alexander. So let's just say, here's looking forward to this season and some young, fresh talent.

Yum.
Young, fresh talent.......

*sigh*

I'm so pathetic.

Warning! Baby Meter at 274%

Rachelle and I stopped by to see her new nephew last night after our walk.

And I held the baby.

Bad decision for someone whose eggs are already trying to fertilize themselves because they are jonseing for offspring. Very bad decision.

Because last night, I dreamed that a doctor was shoving eggs (apparently the size of chicken eggs) into my uterus, but the eggs were in a styrofoam cup, complete with plastic lid. I can't remember if there were straws. She got four of them in and went for another and I said, "Are those all going to fit?!" She laughed and said, "Oh yes. Don't worry. Women do this all the time." Someone was there holding my hand, but I can't remember who.

I understand the whole putting-eggs-in-the-uterus part, but what's up with the styrofoam cups?

Dream Moods has nothing for styrofoam cups.

Oh Yeah, Happy Earth Day!

And in honor of Earth Day, let me share with you what I found on Aunt Purl's blog. EnviroSax - reusable bags in all kinds of pretty colors. Fantastic!

Seattle is moving toward charging for grocery bags, be it plastic or paper so we're being encouraged (see: forced) to find an alternative. I use the plastic bags for my garbage, so I'll still have to get/buy them every now and then, but these reusable bags would be so much better for all the quick little trips I make to the Big BM.

And since they fold up so small, I may get the packet of five (when I'm spending money again) and try to keep them in my glove box. Hip, fashionable and environmentally friendly.

Speaking of environmentally friendly, I will be signing up for a bus pass Thursday. What prompted this? I paid $3.64 for gas this morning. Ruby, a little ol' Hyundai Elantra (recently washed and beautified) took $50 to fill up. I had a momentary panic. This is our way of life now. I have to save money to put gas in my car. Gas will never be under $2 ever again, will it?

The movie "Total Recall" springs to mind. Everyone is wearing grey (apparently, they don't make clothes in pretty colors in the future), it's all dusty, people look sad. And they're paying $25 for a gallon of gas.

Time to....say it with me.....get back On The Wagon and start bussin' it again. It will be easier when it STOPS SNOWING. Did I tell you it snowed this weekend? The third weekend in April? It snowed? Yes. Snowed. I'm not walking a mile in this weather just to get to work. Totally not worth it. But in nice weather, it's a lovely walk around the lake. And then I don't have to worry about walking in the evenings. It's a win win situation really.

So happy Earth Day!
Go hug a tree.

Quiet Ballard Woman Strangles Upstairs Neighbor. News at 11.

I think Esther (aka Ms. Eybrows From Hell) is an insomniac. Or just a bitch. She woke me up at 2:30am, clomping around. Then again at 5:30am. NO ONE screws with my sleep. NO ONE. Especially a little five foot tall chick who APPEARS to weigh only 110 pounds but is secretly packin' an extra 50 pounds in her feet. AIN'T HAPPENIN'. There will be a talking to this evening.

So, try as might, I'm just cranky. I hate being cranky. Makes for a miserable day. And it makes me want wine. Lots and lots of wine.

But Nichole has suggested we head to World Wrapps for lunch. You know what that means! Bento box! Life will be so much better after that. And I have my walk with Rachelle this evening, during which we will pop in and see her knew nephew, whose name I can't remember because it starts with an "X" but it's not Xavier. I think it's something warlocky or witchcrafty.

Anywho.

Bento box, walk, baby time.
It's all good.

I will not let Esther ruin my day.....

This Just In! I Have A Character Flaw

Shocking. I know.

I met with someone today about playing music [cue "Back in the saddle again...."] and here's where my character flaw came to light.

But first....

I haven't played much at all since The Break Up. I haven't written any new songs, I haven't sang in front of people. Actually, I couldn't play "Dream Song Thingbob" (forgive the title) without crying for months. I'm over that now, but I'm still not doing anything productive. If artists derive their art from pain, I should have a double length cd written by now, right?

Nope. Nuthin'.

So, I impulsively answered a couple of craigslist ads looking for singers. And I didn't tell anyone about it because I wanted the option of backing out without looking like a weenie. After some emails and myspace sharing, I met Tbone (not his real name and not Burnett) in person and played him some of my originals. He liked them. Which made me feel like I haven't lost it completely.

Enter character flaw.

I tend to hijack the conversation. I'm asked a yes or no question ("Do you like the band so-n-so?") and six minutes later I'm talking about what I had for dinner last night and that my favorite color is red. And the person says, "Uh, where was I going with that?"

Crap.

I chalk it up to nervous energy. I talk too much when I'm nervous. Did I ever tell you that my kindergarten and elementary school teachers used to write that I talked too much on my report cards? Quite the motor mouth, I was.

I also deduce that I babble because it's my way of being interested in the conversation. I'm not one to ask a lot of questions because it annoys me to have conversations with people who just pummel you with questions and never throw their two cents in and you feel like you're on a stage being interviewed under a heat lamp. So I don't ask questions because I don't want to pummel people but I'm still pummeling these poor people because I'm rambling about a Kia commercial and how depressing folk singers really INSPIRE ME when I simply should have said, "Yes. I like them."

They say acknowledging the problem is the first step to solving it.

Problem = Acknowledged.

Tbone, I promise keep the babbling to a minimum and let you finish a thought next time. Honest.

The Checker At Safeway Thinks I'm A Whore

Oh, she didn't say it, but I could see it on her face.

I guess it doesn't bode well for me, does it?

In my defense, the strawberries and whip cream are for brunch tomorrow with Jamie and her friends and I needed new batteries for my little iPod speakers I use in the bathroom (yes, it's crucial to my survival). And I'm starting to get a cold so when I saw these tissues, I thought "How perfect for the boudoir!" because I know I'll be needing tissues soon.

So see? Not a whore, Ms. Judgemental Safeway Checker Woman.

What else can I tell ya?

I had a big adventure today! I took the bus downtown ALL BY MYSELF. I met Nichole for a movie and lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. And while I was waiting for her, I was reminded of why I don't go downtown. The crazies.

A man, also waiting on someone and who looked perfectly normal, asked me what movie I was seeing. I told him Smart People. Before I could ask what he was seeing, he told me, "Oh, I'm seeing The Forbidden Kingdom it's the oldest fictional story in history it's about a god who is part man and part monkey so you know, like God, and it traces history back to the ancient deities and the war between them and then......"

And then I gently turn and walk away. After that, I kept my angry face on. It tends to deter anyone from speaking to me. I use it a lot when I'm downtown. I can't believe I forgot to put it on when I left home this morning. That'll teach me.

Anway, Nichole and I saw the movie, had lunch, I hopped back on the bus, and home I came. To lounge in my jammies and snooze on the couch until I remembered I needed to get something for brunch tomorrow.

Which brings us back to Ms. Judgemental Safeway Checker Woman. She made me feel icky. I think a soakie and some reading is in order. Then I will rest up for brunch. New people. Gotta be on. Maybe straighten my hair. Paint my nails. Floss.

And then maybe some Milo time after that. I should take him for a walk. Because I need to burn off all the cake I've been eating. And the half a piece of cheesecake I had a lunch.....and then the other half at dinner.....ack.

Eyelashes = [bat, bat]

My horoscope for today:

The universe is amplifying your charm level now -- use it to get what you want.

I suddenly hear Kristin's voice in my head:
"WORK IT, GIRLFRIEND!"

Hmmmm....
What do I want?

Random Thoughts

Couscous smells like dried cat food when it's reheating. If you can get past that, it's still pretty good.

**********

I think I'm actually sick of chocolate cake. And I think I've gained five pounds since Saturday.

**********

Ms. Traveler will be happy to hear this.
There is a neighbor that I blatantly stalk. Ms. Traveler actually pointed him out to me when we were coming back from a walk. He's a cutie. Drives a work truck. Has a tool belt. Yum. When I say "blatantly stalk" I mean get up from my chair, walk across the living room and stand at the window when I see his truck drive by to watch him park and walk by.

I saw him drive by this evening, so I went to the window to look oh so casual. And he lifted a two year old boy out of his truck and held his hand as they walked to his apartment. The guy isn't wearing a ring, so who's the boy?

*sigh*

I'm exhausted now.

**********

What's my big plan this evening you ask?
I may clean my keyboard with these nifty little pre-moistened q-tipy things and then after that, oh gosh, I don't know, maybe bleach the hair on my lip.

Ah, the life of a single gal. Craziness I tell ya.

Craziness.

**********

I haven't spent any money in two days and I am FREAKIN' OUT. There's talk of a happy hour on Friday, brunch on Sunday, maybe a dinner next week. What am I going to do?!

**********

I think I want a piece of cake....

**********

I read Charlotte's Web for the first time.
It was just okay.

Does that make me un-American?

**********

Okay, I've had my hot bath, I've read more of Obama's book, now it's time for bed. My bedtime keeps getting earlier and earlier. Actually, I laid down at 8:30pm last night. Fell asleep, woke up at 11:30pm and thought, "Oh crap! What time is it?!" Not even midnight, that's what time it is. Sad. Very sad.

But tomorrow night Jamie is coming over for dinner. And I'm hanging out with Darragh Friday night. Brunch and a haircut on Sunday. Maybe some Milo time on Saturday. Life will be picking up again here soon......

Where The Hell's My Shaw, Sonny?!

My first day as a 33 year old and what did I do this evening?

I hand stitched the holes in the satin edge of my blanket and watched Jeopardy, while yelling out the answers, then cracking up because I had no idea what the answers really were but damn, I'm funny!

All I need are ten cats and a funky smell coming from the kitchen.

What man wouldn't want this?

Welcome Back! SLAP!

Oh, how I miss my jammies.

Apparently, the universe (and maybe one of my bosses) was not at all happy that I was gone for two days because today has been a bitch. A big ol' bitch. And all I can think about is Jamie's chocolate cake and my opened bottle of wine from last night.

They call to me. They promise to make it all better.

Maybe I'll take a walk first.
To justify more cake.....

Happy Birthday To Me!

Well! What a wonderful weekend!

Friday, I was up early and spent the day shopping. I met up with Jamie at Macy's and bought a cutsie new dress for the spa day. How did I choose out of all of the dresses I tried on? It was the only one that didn't make me grunt in the dressing room. Perfect! After shopping, we met up with some of her co-workers for drinks. Home early and in bed to rest up for Spa Day.

Which takes us to Saturday!

**********

Part I of Raechelle's Birthday Extravaganza!

Aren't we a group of hotties? From left to right, we have Val, me, Jessica, Nichole, Cyn, Jamie and Rachelle. Kim joined us for brunch and the spa, but had to run home in between to tend to Milo. He was sick.

We gathered at my place at 11am, then caravaned to Volterra for brunch. We finished up earlier than I expected, so we grabbed some coffee and lounged in the sun for a bit before heading to the spa. That's when this photo was taken. We were attracting all kinds of attention in our little spring dresses.

At the spa, we got buffed, massaged and polished. A few got facials, a few got pedicures and one choose a manicure. As we left, I made the comment we were a gaggle of polished beauty! Nichole laughed her ass off and said "That needs to be the title of your blog post!"

We caravaned back to my place. A couple of the gals needed to head home, but a few stayed and K-Ski came over since she missed out on the brunch and spa-ing. We sat and bonded and ate cake that Jamie made (from SCRATCH! That was FANTABULOUS!) and drank champagne for a few hours. I was asked to gaze at the cake for a photo op.

This is a gift from Nichole that was too perfect not to post. A martini glass with red undies all over it. And the recipe for the Red Panty drink.

After cake, champagne and presents, it was time for Part II of Raechelle's Birthday Extravaganza!

My Sheauns cooked me dinner. I was supposed to be at McP's at 8pm, but after drinking champagne for three hours, I called for a driver and Darragh was sent over to chauffeur me. We ate out in McP's backyard under clear sky with bright stars. There was bread with tapenade, salad, baked chicken, a rice pilaf and, of course, more champagne.

After dinner, and yet another chocolate cake, this one from Dilettante's (oy but yum) we watched The Big Lebowski and played with my digital camera. Here's a few (out of 42) photos for your enjoyment.

**********

Nothing blogworthy happened on Sunday.

**********

I was up earlier than preferred this morning so I treated myself to breakfast at Vera's down in Ballard. And since today was my LAST DAY OF SHOPPING OH MY GAWD, I splurged (as much as you can splurge at Ross) and bought a red throw for the couch, a couple of tank tops and new baskets for the bathroom. Now, I have a basket on the back of the toilet for my hair stuff and a matching basket under the sink for my bath stuff. I am very happy.

After arranging baskets this evening, I cooked my birthday dinner - sea scallops on a bed of lemon herb couscous with asparagus. And wine. Yum.

And there will be cake later. You can bet on it.

Ah.......now I'm looking forward to taking a soakie with some lavender bath oil, a gift from K-Ski, and reading more of Obama's book, and having my last glass of wine.

Then I go back to work tomorrow. Poo.

All in all, not a bad start to my Christ year, doncha think?

Happy Friday!

As I sit here in my jammies, looking out into an beautiful, sunny day with absolutely no clouds in the big blue sky (it's been so long!), it occurs to me that I could very well be a morning person.

If it weren't for that damn job.

Yes, my day off and I'm up at 8:30am. You've heard the term "sleep like a rock?" Well, friends, I slept like a rock last night. I didn't even stir when Jessica got up and left at 6:30am. Normally I can hear her alarm go off, but not this morning. I woke up at 7:45am and thought, "Oh shit! Is Jessica still sleeping?!" I ran out to the living room, but she was gone. And I was baffled. I can't believe I didn't wake up. As a matter of fact, I don't think I woke up at all during the night. That's rare. At least once, I'll turn over and look at the clock when it's 2 or 3am.

I guess the lack of sleep Wednesday night (I never really slept. I just couldn't get comfortable), along with the two glasses of wine last night, are just what the doctor ordered for rock sleeping. Good to know.

And boy howdy, I feel good today. Tiny bit of a headache left, but I'm optimistic that it will fade. I love days like this! I've already balanced my checkbook and had breakfast. I have some last minute shopping to do for the post spa festivities tomorrow and I need to tidy up around here. I may sneak a walk in to downtown Ballard.

Ah...... you can feel work and stress and ickiness slip away, can't you?

Or is that just me? Are you sitting at work, reading this and cursing me under your breath?

So sorry.

Remember I have Monday off too, so save some of that seething for then.

Happy Friday!

My Head, It Aches

I have a migraine again. Started yesterday, at lunch. Got the squigglies, an hour later the headache hit. Took Advil. It did no good.

So I went home last night, pulled the shades, and crawled into bed. I just wanted darkness.

It's better this morning, but my eyes are still sore. I was sitting in my office with the lights off and everyone, of course, had to pop their little head in and make some snarky comment. "You forget to pay your electric bill?" "Tryin' to create a mood in here?"

Sometimes, I hate this place.

Anywho, a facilities worker popped in for a different issue that I had called about (I'm very high maintenance today) and mentioned that I could request softer bulbs in my overhead lights. He hadn't even finished his sentence before I was on the work order website putting in my room and budget numbers. About 30 minutes later, Gordon showed up with new light bulbs. He said he wasn't sure they were softer, but we'll give it a whirl and see what we can do.

He spent 20 minutes in here trying different bulbs, taking one bulb out of each fixture, turning off one fixture completely. Anything to make it more bearable. We decided on the warmer bulbs (more red tones, instead of blue) and only one in each fixture instead of two. So far, not bad. The facilities guy suggested too that I get a flourescent bulb for my lamp. I'm thinking that will be too painful, but I'll give it a try. If I have to sit in this artificially lit closet all day, I need to to do something to make it easier on my head.

I also made an eye appointment for next week. Which should tell you how miserable I am. I'd rather throw my feet in stirrups and hang my naked ass off a table than get an eye exam. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

But it's been two years, so it's possible my deteriorating eyesight may have something to do with the headaches. Unfortunately, I don't think my ass is the culprit. Bummer.

Well, I Declare!

I am making a declaration! I mean it!

And if I put it on the blog, well then, I have to adhere to it. You people hold me accountable, whether you know it or not.

{ahem}

As of April 15th, I will go 30 days without purchasing anything that is not essential for my survival. This includes:

• Nightstands or anything else for the boudoir
• Clothing
• Shoes
• Hanky Pankies
• Wine (unless it's part of the grocery shopping trip - cut me some slack)
• Manicures
• Bubble bath
• Movies (even $3 Crest movies)

In addition to not shopping, I will limit myself to one (1) meal out per week, with adult beverages. ONE. This "meal" includes breakfasts and lunches.

Of course, there are a few exemptions (aren't there always?)

• Morning coffee. It's $7 a week. I pay more than that for underwear now.
• Massages are, in fact, "essential for my survival", so I will keep my future appointments.
• Anything purchased with gift certificates. Cause I can't pay bills with gift certificates.
• Mother's Day cards.

I am motivated to get those credit card bills down! MOTIVATED! Why? I don't know. Let's not question it. Let's just declare, and then hope for the best. And 30 days seemed like a good trial period. If it goes well, and I don't die, well maybe I'll do it for another 30 days. And if I do it for a few 30 days in row, maybe I'll get my credit cards paid off before I'm 60.

The key to success will be enlisting Jamie's help.

As a matter of fact, Jamie, my enabler, has initiated a shopping trip tomorrow evening. She does not know about this genius plan yet. I committed to shopping before I came up with it. This is why the plan starts on the 15th. Well, that and my Birthday Brunch-n-Spa day is Saturday.

So, between now and Tuesday (did I mention I took Friday off? I have some shopping to do......) I will live life to the fullest in Target and Nordstrom. But come Tuesday! I am On The Wagon.

I spend a lot of time On The Wagon, don't I?
Sad.

Anyway, I will be On The Wagon! I will pay off my credit cards! I will put money in savings! I will start off year 34............wait.

My Christ year is 33. April 14th means I have completed my 33rd year of life. I've ALREADY HAD my Christ year. Your Christ year is your pivotal year!

Well. Last year WAS the big pivotal year, wasn't it? Huh. Or does your Christ year start on your 33rd birthday, going into your 34th year? Anyone?

(Exceptionally funny thing here - I googled "your christ year" to find clarification and the first site to pop up was my blog. It's a weird full circle kind of thing.)

Where was I?

Oh, right.

Here I go! Responsible adult! It's only 30 days. I can do this!

Wish me luck.
Send gift cards.

Kitchen Makeover!

Wala! A little colorful wrapping paper and my kitchen shelf is TRANSFORMED!

Okay, maybe not transformed, but prettyfied. Right? I may do the little panels on the pantry door, too, but Jessica's had enough Martha Stewart fun for tonight.

Breaking News!

Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream has replaced Ben & Jerry's Half Baked frozen yogurt as my favorite ice creamy treat. It's all downhill from here.

Also, Sunday evening is the absolute worse time to go grocery shopping. They're out of everything.

Yes, I left the house. Shock and amazement.

I hit Paper Zone, Marshall's, Sears, Target, and Ballard Market. I came home with gift boxes, tissue paper, shampoo, wine, ice cream, broccoli and the book "Dreams from My Father" by Obama, which I plan to start in about 15 minutes when I'm in a scalding hot bath with my glass of wine. It's a nice way to top off a lazy day.

Sunday Blahs

I'm blue today. Not sure why. So, of course, I'm overanalyzing it and trying to figure out just where the "blue" is and why.

Which makes me even more blue.

I could be tired. I blame the drive to Covington last night for the monthly gals' dinner. After dinner, we all went back to Nichole's and had birthday cake. She bought me an ice cream cake. My first ever. Then she barked at me to "blow out the goddamn candles, Raechelle, they're melting on the cake!" I love Nichole. She reminds me a lot of my mom. Nichole may not be so flattered to hear that.

Anyway, since we were all just lounging around, I didn't leave her place until 11pm or so. I got home and went straight to bed, and slept pretty well until 7am when my new upstairs neighbor, Esther (who I fear may be a morning person), started clomping around. She must have left around 7:30am, because it got quiet again, so I slept until 9:30am.

Then, since I was blinded by sunlight, I figured I'd make the most of the nice day and go for a walk. Couldn't hurt to burn off the mud pie ice cream cake from last night. It was a good walk. I wanted a new route, so I maybe slightly inadvertently but maybe on purpose walked by The Ex's place. And I maybe felt like a stalker. Nothing noteworth except all of the blinds are down and his car has a new hole in the side.

Funny thing. I've dreamed about him for the past two nights (source of the blue?). In one dream, I was visiting him and was just appalled at the state of the apartment. Then he morphed into a creepy doctor I work with. In the other dream, I was visiting him again and he was making dinner. We were hugging and I remember thinking, "Why bother? It's not like this relationship is ever going to go anywhere." He asked me to put his cell phone away because he didn't want to be bothered and as I was putting it in the drawer of the coffee table, I noticed the screensaver was a picture of me. Then I was sitting on the couch and his girlfriend came over with her parents. And she was none too happy that I was there. And that's it. So he was on my mind as I set out this morning.

Got home from my walk, stretched, ate some breakfast, took a shower, then just sat in my new chair and stared out the window while I drank my tea. And I have no plans for day. None. How weird is that? My Sheauns are both traveling, Jamie has to study, Val's out of town, Rachelle has Date Morning with her man on Sundays......

I'm all alone.
I don't think I'm handling it well.
Could very well be PMS.

I'm not used to this downtime. I know it's good for me, but then I beat myself up because there are things I should be doing. That's what I want on my headstone - "But there are things I should be doing!!"

I should call my ex-sis-in-sin. I've been wanting to see her for a month and just haven't had the time to get up there and visit. I should call my ex-aunt-in-sin to see how she's recuperating after a recent medical procedure she had done. I should go see Milo and Kim. I should go grocery shopping. I should take my vacuum in for servicing since I've never had it serviced in the five years I've had it AND I have a 50% off coupon. I should get my hair trimmed. I should take the pile of stuff in my corner to Goodwill. I should sneak into Shaun's apartment and do laundry (and clean for him - because I'm good like that.) I should do SOMETHING! I feel like I'm wasting the day.

But I can't seem to move from this chair. My mind is on overload with everything it wants to do, but my body is not cooperating. Maybe it's already exhausted from what's coming up: Monday: Jessica. Tuesday: walking, Wednesday: massage, maybe shopping with Jamie, Thursday: maybe shopping with Jamie if Wednesday doesn't work, Friday: happy hour with Jamie and her school buds. I may take Friday off. I have Monday, the 14th, off (because, ahem, it's my birthday) so why not just take Friday off too and make it a four day weekend?

Honestly, I just want to go back to bed.

Ooh, my Carrie Bradshaw moment:

At what point do we listen to our bodies and just do what it wants, without thinking there's something wrong?

Hair Update

I have discovered the timer feature on my camera. Lucky for you.

Because my arms are not long enough to do the self portrait and get all of the hair. Yes, it's that long. Actually, it could use a trim. It's been since October.

I'm not as stoned as I look. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do when I'm waiting for a camera to take my photo, ya know?

If I can refrain from whacking it all off (it's becoming a major pain in the ass) I will be a mermaid for Halloween. An "authentic" mermaid. Well, maybe with pasties. Because pasties are very fashionable these days. No sir, not just for strippers anymore!

Somewhat of an Update

There's nothing too interesting to share right now. But it's been a busy week, nonetheless.

Monday, Jessica stayed over, which meant dinner out. Never a bad thing.
Tuesday, walking Greenlake with Rachelle and then dinner with Shaun.
Wednesday, There Will Be Blood* with McP and his roommate.
Thursday, Jamie's birthday! So, dinner and drinks.
Today, death.

Because I got a wild hair and had pork shoulder (who knew?) at dinner last night and oh gawd, my stomach is not at all happy about this. My muscles are actually sore from trying to move this shit along (no pun intended). Lesson learned. I don't do red meat. Unless it's bacon. But is bacon really red meat? It's mostly fat, right? So, apparently, my body is fine with eating straight fat, but it has a slight problem with actual meat.

Well, okay fine.

Tonight was supposed to be a work happy hour, but I just want to go home and fall asleep on the couch. Much like last night.

*Now, about this movie. I am not a Daniel Day Lewis fan. And I take a lot of crap for this. The Sheauns try to tell me he's most likely the best actor of our time, I MUST see In The Name Of The Father, blah blah blah. Don't care. Still don't like him. He's just a little too intense for me. But I went to this movie because 1) it was only $3, 2) McP is going out of town for a while and I wanted to see him before he left and 3) I thought I should see at least one Oscar nominated movie.

And it was just okay. I didn't get the hugeness of it all. I kept waiting for the big crux and I don't feel like it ever came. Even McP thought it didn't live up to the hype.

But oh, the best part of the movie? When DDL gets slapped around by a preacher kid. I thoroughly enjoyed that.

Now That's More Like It!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Work could take a back seat to your personal enjoyment today. A romantic interlude could highlight the day, whether with a current love interest or perhaps somebody new. Be alert and look for the signs.

And as if to reinforce this, a co-worker just sent me an email:

"Interested in a blind date? He's 6'1", likes sports, motorcycles, cars, fine food, and travel. Here are some pics in case you can't see his page. Lemme know!"

Wheee!

And from the Houston Chronicle:

ARIES (March 21-April 19). Why save your dollars for a rainy day? It's so much more fun to spend money on a sunny one! Anyhow, rain or shine, you're due for a splurge. You reinforce your belief in abundance by spending bigger.

Ironically enough, I just got a lovely little birthday gift card in the mail! And it's actually sunny today!

The universe is lovin' Raechelle!

And I need more coffee!

Gimme A Break, Will Ya?

My horoscope from the Seattle Times today:

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The future is not what it used to be. You may be faced with a drastic change or a new group of people. As alarming as it may sound this could have a dramatic yet positive influence on your future.

Um. How is this new news?
I believe that "drastic change" and that "new group of people" took place last summer.

Unless....

Oh no....

Does this mean yet ANOTHER drastic change is on it's way?

Oh, for the love of puppies! What could possibly happen now?! I just got a new gang! I've been so good! My social life is on fire! I haven't cried in, like, MONTHS!

I like the whole "positive influence" part, but come on! I cannot take another DRASTIC CHANGE.

It sounds bad. Doesn't it sound bad? It could be good, but I'm not in the most positive frame of mind today, so it just sounds bad. Ominous. More drama. I don't want anymore drama. I've been drama free for months now. I just want normal. Ho-hum. No drastic changes. No new group of people.

Another drastic change will break me.
I mean it.

No more changes. Please?
No more.....