Sunday, May 11, 2008

Who Knew Pink Towels Could Be An Opportunity To Grow?

It finally happened.
I turned my white bathroom towels pink.
Along with my white kitchen towel and all of my white hair towels.

I got permission from my neighbor to throw a load of laundry in, so I washed the huge pile of towels that's been accumulating for the past three weeks. I did think to pull out the red cloth napkins and the plaid napkins from the picnic backpack, but I thought the other towels were old enough that they wouldn't bleed.

Wrong.

All pink.

So I filled up the bathtub with bleach and water and soaked the two big bath towels, the wash cloths and the hand towel.

And then occurred to me.

I wasn't upset.

A year ago, this situation would have made me snap. I think my stress level was that high and I was that wound up.

Case in point: When I was still with The Ex, I washed (and dried) a load of laundry, completely unaware that that my red lipstick was still in the pocket of my jeans. There was lipstick on everything. And I cracked. Literally. The Ex came upstairs to find me standing in the bedroom, looking at the pile of laundry on the bed and just sobbing and saying the F word over and over. I felt like a failure.

For six years, I was trying so hard to prove that I would be a great wife. I was cooking dinners five nights a week, I was spending all of my spare energy keeping the apartment clean, I was taking care of the bills and going grocery shopping and managing our social calendar.

So when I screwed up a load of laundry, I felt like I disappointed The Ex. And don't get me started on my feelings of inadequacy when I almost burned down the kitchen trying to fry homemade won tons.

The point is, today, in this new life, I am not the least bit concerned about these pink towels. Yes, it bugs me, but I did not cry. I did not cuss. I didn't throw anything. I figure, I'll just go back to JC Penny and buy two more towels and two more wash clothes. Big deal. The bleaching helped tremendously, but they still have a tint. And that's just fine for now. No biggie.

It's funny how these little things that happen now make me realize how unhappy I was for so long. I was so wound up that I cried at laundry. I cried at full trashcans. I cried at having too many social engagements in one week. I cried. A lot.

So what if I turn the towels pink? I'm still going to make a great wife. If anything, I'll be more comic relief than one man can stand.

And if he gets upset at pink towels, well, then maybe I don't want to be with him anyway.

3 comments:

tbone said...

let me be the first to say "hell yeah". Pink towels are part of life, as are green socks (there's a story to that too, but it's pretty much the same as the pink towels).

What a great milestone, Rae. Good for you!

Anonymous said...

You're chillin' out way earlier than I did. I've just now learned not to get upset when things go wrong. Dumped a whole glass of lemonade on the table last week - simply got up and cleaned it up, didn't even throw the glass! Now that's a first!
Mom

Raechelle said...

My mom, dear readers! And that's where I get my temper from.

Nice to know we're both growing....