Is It Tomorrow Yet?

What the hell is up with the universe today?

I can't count the number of cars who almost ran or eased into me because they weren't paying attention to what they were doing. Or the number of people I almost hit with my car because they stepped off the curb, cell phone to their ear, completely unaware that there were cars zooming past.

Here's a tip for ya: PAY ATTENTION, PEOPLE. Take yer freakin' cell phone away from your ear and look forward. How hard is that? You are not the only one in this world and one of these days, people are going to quit slamming on their brakes for you just because you're too engrossed in whatever it is you're doing to notice that there is a car coming RIGHT TOWARD YOU. Dumbass.

Okay, maybe I'm a little grumpy today.

I had a dentist appointment this morning and apparently, a root canal is not in order just yet. I have a crack in my tooth, that runs up by the nerve, and we suspect I am grinding my teeth at night (just like I have for the last 25 years) which is aggravating the nerve every day and not giving it a chance to calm down.

So, he suggested (and has been suggesting) a night guard (for six years now). Maybe I'll actually break down and buy one because it's just pissing me off now and I'm pretty sure I'm killing my stomach with the amount of Advil I'm taking on a daily basis. And the tooth pain is making the entire left side of my head hurt so that when I cough (freakin' allergies) my brain feels like it's trying to somehow exit my skull.

And then there's MS (not PMS....we are not in the "Pre" stages anymore) which just makes me want to rip out my own ovaries with my bare hands and throw them against the wall. I work in a clinic. We've got plenty of gauze. I think I can do it.

When I had my first "woman's doctor's appointment" at 17 (I think it was 17), the doctor came into the room and asked, "Now, what can I do for you?"

And I very calmly and maturely said, "I would like a hysterectomy, please."

I think my mom laughed. Only three years of being a woman and I was sick of it. Screw. This.

Sigh.

Enough about my uterus.

I am very much looking forward to this evening. Todd and I will be taking one of our faithful readers, who is visiting from Houston, and her husband out for dinner. I think we'll go somewhere on the water. Because we know how to impress our fans.

And then afterward, mucho cuddle time with my man. I think that will make all of the aches and pains magically go away. And if not, well, who cares. I still get cuddle time.

31 Flavors of Ick

Or, Crankalicious.

I need to throw a tantrum. Big time. I'm wound up and I'm not sure why. My underthings are cutting into me, my shirt is too tight, I feel fat, I hate these jeans and my shoe has something that's poking me.

One of my supervisors is out so everyone feels the need to pop their little head in my office and ask where he is. How about I don't care? Now get outta my office.

I just remembered a meeting that is happening on July 14, my first day back after a week long vacation, and I haven't done the minutes for the last meeting to present at this meeting. So I gotta get that done before I leave work tomorrow. And minutes take me a long, long time. It's really no fun.

I feel like I have something in my eye but I can't find anything. So I'm rubbing my eye a lot. And it's pissing me off.

Sigh.

Sorry. That's all I got.

Send hugs.
And wine.

You Know You're A Little Cranky When...

You're surfin' through all of your bookmarked sites and when you click on CuteOverload.com (which you've done 15 times already this afternoon and they just aren't updating the site quick enough for you) you mutter to yourself "If it's still a picture of that damn monkey with the kangaroo, I'm gonna lose it......"

Luckily, I was rewarded with ADORABLE photos of bunnies and kitties and puppies, oh my!

My day just got better.

Pants That Fit, Fog, Rebellious Driving, Sappy Crap & Balsamic Vinegar

My day started out with putting on pants that actually fit! Some people are going to be so happy about this. My new, smaller jeans I bought back in July are now too big. Well, they're comfy. They're not flattering at all. But I bought a pair of green cords at Goodwill on Saturday that fit me W E L L. No more sagging seat area! And I'll have you know, now that I can see it, my ass is lookin' good.

Then I drove to work in a cloud. A big, thick cloud. I think I'd rather drive in snow. At least I can see two car lengths ahead of me.

And to add to the danger, I ran a red light. On purpose. Actually, the lady beside me and I both ran the red light. Safety in numbers, right? There's a light on Market Street that is specifically for pedestrians. Well, it turned red, we waited, no pedestrians........and then the light didn't change to green. The walk sign went back to the orange hand, but the light stayed red. I creeped up a little. The lady next to me creeped up a little. We looked at each other. We shrugged. We creeped up a little more. We looked at each other again. We smiled and nodded. We drove through the red light. I felt like I was in a gang.

Work is actually okay. Keeping busy, listening to the iPod, singing along. Being pro-ductive. Oh, I finally brought pictures to work. I've never had pictures at work. I had said after I got hired on directly (because I temped here for three months, then got hired on) that I would celebrate by personalizing my desk. Never happened. In May, I finally brought two pictures of me and Steve, and then we broke up, so in the trash they went. I think I took it as a bad omen. But now I have pictures of my folks and some of my friends and it brings a smile to my face to look at them. Reminds me that I'm loved.

Anywho, enought the sappy crap.

Now I'm waiting for my buddy to get her lunch break so we can walk down to World Wrapps and I can get a bento box. I shouldn't spend the money, but the soup I brought just doesn't look appealing. I don't know why I keep buying soup. I don't like soup. There's no accessories when you eat soup. It's just soup. Soup sucks. Unless you have a grilled cheese with it.

Speaking of lunch, the bistro is serving something that has balsamic vinegar in it. Which makes me nauseous (I have to look that word up every single time I try to type it). Steve used oil and balsamic vinegar for salad dressing and if he didn't rinse his bowl out right after we ate, it would just make me sick. I like the taste of it, but the smell is disgusting. I've moved the bottles of it at the Lockspot Cafe because people use it on their fish-n-chips so there's a bottle at each table. Even with the lid on, the smell creeps out.

Just something to know about me.

Tumbling Down

The week, I'm afraid, is not getting any better. At this rate, I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it through Friday.

Today I am in my office with my door shut. That is a clear sign that it is not a good day. My "office" is a closet. Literally. It's roomy, but it has no windows. So with the door closed, there is a slight threat of claustrophobia.

But at least with my door closed, people have to make the effort to knock, then turn the handle, then open the door to bug me. Which seems to be way too much effort, so I've been left pretty much alone all morning. And I think that's best for everyone.

I can't really pinpoint why the day is so bad, or why I'm so grrrr. Could be I didn't sleep too much Monday night and that's piling up. Could be I had two drinks last night with my new neighbors so I'm feeling the effects of that this morning. Could be PMS. Could be the fact that my time off request to go home for christmas is STILL sitting in my boss' office, unsigned after four days. Could be the fact that [WARNING: This may be too much info for some of you] after taking a year's break from the pill because I had come to the conclusion that it was affecting my moods, I recently started it back up. Or it could be just an icky week. Who the hell knows.

Maybe I just need some sleep? I have no plan at all for this weekend, so sleep is now the goal.

Unless something more fun comes up.....

My Day

.....and the things that have made me mutter:
"I really don't want to have to kill anyone today......"

• Target

I think I may hate Target. It was absolutely packed this evening. And no one was over the age of 24. It felt like a frat party. Everyone was on their cell phones, blindly roaming around. Just shoot me. Mom called while I was there, but I was polite and moved over to a corner and stood still for the entire 15 minutes we talked. I didn't bump into people, I didn't stand in the very middle of the aisle while talking at an above normal voice because the reception in Target (and the interference of all of the other cell phones) makes it hard to hear. What the hell is wrong with people?

• One particular co-worker

My job isn't rocket science. I try to keep department running smoothly. I maintain the employee files. I order supplies. I schedule meetings. It's not easy, but it also shouldn't be so hard. There are certain requirements and compliances to which a clinic or hospital has to adhere. There's a scary organization called JCAHO and they come through to make sure we're all safe. And that our employees are licensed and properly trained. Part of my job is to make sure that all of the required training documentation is in each of the 45 employees' files. Easy, right? Ha. It's like pulling teeth to get people to sign a freakin' document so I can put it in their file. I had to literally breathe down someone's neck this afternoon so that he would sign what he needed to sign and give it to me to file before the end of the day. Breathing down necks is not in my job description. And I'm not very good at it because I end up just getting pissed, and then I lose my temper and I slam doors and stomp around. Not very professional. Maybe I was just hungry.

• People not from 'round here

Traffic is traffic, dipshits are dipshits. Whadya gonna do? But on one too many occasions this week, I have gotten behind someone who has absolutely no idea that the lane we're in must turn left. Despite the big sign above his head. Despite the big arrow painted on the road. This lane cannot go straight. The light turns green, cars start to turn left, but the guy in front of me just stops, in the middle of the intersection, deciding what his options are. Hmmmm, turn, like I'm supposed to then maybe figure out a way to get back on track? Go straight, regardless of the traffic that is coming right at me? Maybe sit here and hope that everyone on earth will take pity on my complete lack of forethought and stop so that I may turn any freakin' way I please, as long as I get where I'm going? Yes. That sounds like a winner. Ruby's poor horn has been overworked this week.

• My password at work

I had to change it. No longer is it "Justletmedie1". Poo. But apparently I mis-typed my new password - twice - so that when I tried to log in after lunch, I kept getting the password wrong. Finally my computer said "Okay, you're done!" and locked me out. I had to call the helpdesk, the helpdesk reset my password, I hung up, tried to log in and my computer said "Um. I don't think you're who you say you are. Locked out!" Back on the phone with the helpdesk, reset the password again, helpdesk stays on the line this time, computer says "Just what are you trying to pull?" I type a little too hard on my keyboard, the W flies off, I have to tell the helpdesk to hang on a second while I get on the floor to get the W key and put it back on..... I thought computers were supposed to make our lives easier? Bullshit.

• People who can't read

Not illiterate people. That would just be hateful. I mean people who have expensive degrees and save lives, yet they still can't seem read the sign on my door that says "The Film Room has moved. See map!" I come back from lunch today to find a disk of images on my desk, with a sticky that tells me to upload them for a patient who will come in tomorrow to get them. Um. Do you see any films at all in this office? No. That's because it's not the film room anymore. See the sign on the door? The one that says "The Film Room has moved"? What do you think that means? Yeah. I want you cutting me open.

• OfficeMax

I spent 20 minutes today trying to find the Avery labels 5366 on the OfficeMax site. I put in "avery 5366" in the search box because 5366 is the template number you have to use. Says it everywhere on the sheet of labels and on the box. Do you think OfficeMax actually puts that 5366 on the description of the labels? Nope. I have to find theses labels by sorting through four pages and looking for the measurements 3/4" by 3 3/8" Un-freaking-believable.

*sigh*

At least it's Friday. I don't have to order labels, or threaten employees, or log in for two days. Two whole days. Goodness. Whatever shall I do with my time?