Home....And Then Some

Yes, we're back! Todd has done a great job of laying out the activities day by day, so I really don't need to rehash all of the details.

I will say it sure didn't feel like a whole week. Although, on the plane ride home yesterday, I suddenly became very exhausted and passed out for I don't know how long. Guess everything caught up with me. Meeting new people for an entire week tends to take it out of you.

And it was good dip in the parent pool. I didn't really go under......just doggie paddled to the edge a couple of times. Which, if you think about it, isn't too bad for my first full week with the kiddies. I know Todd was worried that I was going to get sick of him but that just wasn't even an issue. He still had me laughing until I had tears in my eyes on the plane ride home.

But, oh, it feels good to be home.

I ordered in thai food last night, had a glass of wine, took a long bath and painted my nails. This morning, I ran errands and just enjoyed being back in Ballard.

And now I'm off to piddle a little more until it's time to get ready for dinner. A special dinner. Dinner at Salty's. Today marks a whopping three months with Todd so we're celebrating. Is it just me, or does it feel like three years? Hard to believe it's only been months.

Speaking of relationships, our hostess with the mostest, Beth, said something a few nights ago that made my mouth just fall open. And opened up a whole new train of thought for me.

By now you've realized that I don't use this blog to spout about my feelings regarding Todd. There's a lot going on inside my head (and heart) and he's aware of all of this, but I don't want my blog to be therapy anymore. You guys were great this past year when I needed an outlet, but now, this relationship is so.....important....that I don't want to let everyone completely in on it. It's more complicated than boy-meets-girl-they-fall-in-love-cue-mushy-music. Todd and I each have our own baggage and issues from the past and I think we're doing a fantastic job of working those things out. So please don't think that just because I don't gush about him means I'm not in love with him. I am very much, 100%, completely in love with him. And his kids. How on earth could I not be?

That said, I tend to freak out every now and then. Sometimes it's because of a trigger from the past, sometimes it's because I fear making the same stupid mistakes I made last year, and sometimes it's because I feel like I'm just sitting in the corner, picking my nose, while this relationship happens around me. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm even participating. Like I'm not in control. And that makes me panic.

So when Beth said that her relationship with her husband took on a life of it's own when they were dating, I literally gasped.

A life of it's own.

Picking my nose.

See how it's the same?

Apparently, when a relationship is right, it just happens. Momentum takes hold and you just have to try and hang on and not get thrown over the side. This is a completely foreign concept to me.

My longest and most pertinent relationship ever began with complete denial. We were just "hanging out" for eight months. Spending Friday night through Monday morning together, sure, but we were just "hanging out". We never, ever, used the term "girlfriend" or "boyfriend". Then we really never lived together those first few years. We just "stayed with each other" because of whatever the current situation was. We didn't really get officially domestic until year four when we got a joint bank account (in addition to our own checking accounts).

This is my frame of reference. Healthy, right?

I thought we were just taking it slow. Now I see I had a chain around his neck and was dragging him down the beautiful path to domesticity. A path he so clearly was not happy to be on. Oh, I think I probably knew that, but dammit, I am no quitter!

So, to have a man who is gung ho about domesticity and togetherness completely throws me. I don't know how to do this if I'm not dragging them kicking and screaming. That's my way of being in control. And you know there's no way I can drag Todd anywhere. The man is huge.

Anywho. That's what's going on. Todd is at the end of the relationship path, arms wide open, tapping his foot and waiting on me. He's probably checking the time every now and then because he's a planner and our social calendar is constantly jam packed. I can see the kids too (along with every gatekeeper I met this past week), jumping up and down and cheering me on. "You can do it, Raechelle!"

I, however, am very gingerly walking toward him, while just trying to stay in the middle of the path and not fall down. I'm just being very, very careful. The path is uneven and if I rush, I'm going to hurt myself. Todd has been down this path. Hell, you can even see his big ol' footprints in the dirt. He OWNS this path. But it's all very new to me.

I wish I could paint. It would be a pretty picture, wouldn't it?

Okay, enough babbling. I gotta get ready for dinner. It's raining out but I am not deterred. I am wearing my new gold strappy shoes! I mean it!

The Ring

No, not the movie.
The ring that Todd gave me.


Pretty little Celtic knots.

I've gotten a few emails that all ask the same question:

"Why the hell haven't you blogged about this!?"

Well, faithful reader, I'm a visual kinda girl. I wanted to wait until I could get a photo when the ring wasn't so tight that my finger turned blue. That just killed the beauty of the whole thing.

And it's been a rough week in RaTodd-land. Or Taechelle-land. I'm still workin' on it.

On life's highway of love, there are speedbumps. Sometimes those bumps are roadkill, but sometimes they're just speedbumps. Speedbumps slow things down for a reason. Speedbumps make you almost come to a complete stop and ask, "What the......?" This is a good thing. In hindsight, of course. In pre-hindsight, you don't see the benefit. You just think, "Oh crap, I hate dating."

But then you talk it out and the weight lifts and the barrier of anger you had up dissolves and suddenly all you want to do is latch onto that person for the rest of the night.

Unfortunately, you've decided to sleep in your own apartment. On a Friday night. Because your bills are piling up and your bathroom is filthy and you have a friend who really needs you on Saturday. So, you make sacrifices and tell your boyfriend you'll see him tomorrow night.

But you smile every time you look at your pretty silver ring.

There's No Denying It Now

I think a self portrait makes it official.

Drumroll please......

Todd and I are dating.

[applause]

To be honest, I'm still wrapping my head around it. And he is well aware of this. It's more change. Good change, but change nonetheless. I just got used to the fact that I can be alone without turning into a sobbing ball of goo. I can be single and happy. What growth!

And then completely out of the blue, when I was least expecting it, this giant of a manly man who makes me laugh until my throat hurts crosses my path and wham. Instant Nora Ephron movie.

It's funny how these things work.

Now That's More Like It!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Work could take a back seat to your personal enjoyment today. A romantic interlude could highlight the day, whether with a current love interest or perhaps somebody new. Be alert and look for the signs.

And as if to reinforce this, a co-worker just sent me an email:

"Interested in a blind date? He's 6'1", likes sports, motorcycles, cars, fine food, and travel. Here are some pics in case you can't see his page. Lemme know!"

Wheee!

And from the Houston Chronicle:

ARIES (March 21-April 19). Why save your dollars for a rainy day? It's so much more fun to spend money on a sunny one! Anyhow, rain or shine, you're due for a splurge. You reinforce your belief in abundance by spending bigger.

Ironically enough, I just got a lovely little birthday gift card in the mail! And it's actually sunny today!

The universe is lovin' Raechelle!

And I need more coffee!

I Think The Red Panties In The Bathroom Are Working!

Do you follow feng shui?

From Wikipedia:
"Feng shui is an ancient Chinese practice believed to utilize the Laws of both Heaven, (astronomy), and Earth, (geography), to help one improve life by receiving positive Qi."

An example? My bed is opposite the door in my bedroom, so my feet point out the door. This allows qi to move to quickly out of the room and that can cause restless sleep. The fix? Hang wind chimes between the end of the bed and the door to slow the qi down. Simple, huh? Also, you don't want a window at the head of your bed. The Qi will go right out the window. And you may worry about intruders while you sleep. So, the bed should be against a solid wall. And don't store things under the bed. Qi can't flow freely if there's all kinds of junk under there.

I'm not a strict feng shui-er, but I have some books, I know some things, and I try to keep these things in mind.

When Jamie first came over to my new place, she immediately noticed that my love corner was in my bathroom. She said I needed to throw some red lacey panties in there. Really get the good juju movin'.

Well, I'm not one to just toss panties on the floor and leave them there, but I hand washed my hanky pankies last week and hung them on the door knob to dry. And they look so pretty, I just left them.

I asked Jamie (at the girls' dinner Saturday night, after a couple of margaritas), "Do the panties have to be in the far corner of the love corner, or can they hang on door in the love corner's room?" She laughed and said, "I think on the door is fine, Raechelle."

So they're still hanging on the door. I also hung one of my new swanky nighties on the back of the door, just for good measure.

And this week, I've gotten asked out for two coffee dates. And rumor has it a third is hovering nearby. Hmmm....coincidence?

I think not.

Confessions Of A Curious Mind

Guess what?
I've been keeping a secret. Actually, a few secrets, but only one that I'm ready to fess up to.

Ready?

I joined Match.com a few weeks ago.
I KNOW!

Mostly out of curiosity. Not the least little bit out of desperation. I am not desperate.

And I always thought online dating sites were for desperate women. Until one of my girlfriends (who will remain nameless) joined eHarmony a while back. I thought, "She's not desperate. Why the hell would she do that?!" And then she explained why. She wanted the distraction. She wanted to meet new people. And let's face it, we're too old to be picking up guys in bars.

So she had a couple of dates, nothing big. And I figured I really had nothing to lose by signing up and surfing around.

[Here's where mom and dad scream "YOU DIDN'T GIVE ANYONE YOUR ADDRESS, DID YOU?! NO ONE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE, RIGHT?? No, no one has my address.]

And I have to say, it's been an intersting experience. I haven't met anyone in person, only emails and a couple of phone calls. I've been winked at by some freaky men (one of which lives in New Zealand. Talk about expensive dates!) and gotten some emails that read like form letters - "Hi. I like your profile. We have many things in common. If you would like to meet me, please call me. 999-999-9999. Thank you, [name]". Actually, I got the same email from the same guy twice. Guess he hasn't figured out a system yet to keep the ladies straight.

I'm not looking for a boyfriend, and don't even really know if I could bring myself to go out to dinner with a perfect stranger, but again, I have all of this single time on my hands, so I might as well have fun with it. I feel like it's research. I am a journalist and it's my duty to try out this stuff and report back to you. I take my job very seriously.

So a few notes about what I've learned so far:

Never make plans with someone you've haven't spoken to on the phone.
Yes, they're funny in their emails. They have good grammar and know how to punctuate. They're perfect on paper. Then you hear their voice and the first thing that comes to mind is "axe murderer". Crap. Too late to just hang up the phone. That would be rude. So you send an email two days later saying "Um, I'm going to have to cancel that plan. Something just isn't sitting right with me, maybe I'm not ready to actually meet people. So sorry. Bu-bye."

Men who list "assertiveness" as a turn-on are lying.
On Match you can see who looks at your profile. So if someone looks at my profile, and I think they're cute, I'll send them a quick couple sentence email. Casual, funny, simple.

I've emailed seven men, all of which had listed assertiveness from a woman a turn-on. And not one of them has responded. Now, I'm not naive - it could just be that they thought I was pretty and were hoping for some bikini pics (of which there are none, thankyouverymuch). But come on, not one of those seven guys found me even remotely interesting enough to email back? Really? Hmph.

It's okay to say "Not Interested".
Match has this fabulous little feature. It's a link that says "Not Interested". You click the link and this message pops up that says "We've let loppy425 [or whatever stupid name he's chosen] you're not interested." Why, thank you so much, Match! Whew! Now I don't have to email him and say, "Um, is that your ex-wife in the photo with you on the beach? Why would you do that?" Yes, really. Which leads me to....

Some people are just stupid.
Yes, you knew this. But it just blows my mind when they're so obviously stupid. Even with the website itself trying to coach them.

When you upload photos, Match has these little tips. One of which is don't use photos with someone of the opposite sex in them, unless it's obviously a group event or something. It turns your potential Match off immediately. And boy howdy, does it ever. One guy emailed me and was very nice. Seemed normal (they all do for the first 10 seconds). Divorced. So, I went to his profile and looked at his pictures. There's a photo of him, in a nice white button down shirt, with a lei around his neck, at sunset, with a very attractive woman, lei around her neck, and she's in a white dress.

Um. Sister? Best friend? Step-mother?
I don't think so.

How in the hell are you expecting to meet women when you've posted a photo of you and your now ex-wife at what appears to be your tropical wedding?! And if it's not your ex-wife at what appears to be your tropical wedding, I already have it in my head that it is and thus, have quickly clicked that fabulous "Not Interested" link. I could have emailed him back asking him point blank what he was thinking, but why? The link is so much easier.

Don't fall for the guy with the rock hard body.
Because what kind of guy, with a rock hard body, actually has the gall to post a picture of said rock hard body on a dating site? My gut tells me he probably will not be someone I want to spend an evening with......well........um. Okay, maybe an evening, but that's ALL and it's too much of a hassel to avoid their calls afterwards.

Where was I?

Ah yes. The rock hard body guy. I don't email these guys. I just save their photo and use it as my desktop photo.

Oh, I kid.
Kinda.

I apparently have a type.
Who knew? Not many people know about Match. Couple of girlfriends. And my folks (I tell them this stuff so that I can hear my dad say, "Your daughter is NUTS!"). I show my girlfriends pics of guys I think are cute, or that I've emailed. And they all agree that I have a type. Curly hair, tall (6'0 and up is best), slender. And if there's a beard, oh HELLO!

But they also have to be clever in their writing. If I find myself chuckling when I read their profile, they get big points. But some are so drab. "I'm very intelligent and my friends say I'm a nice guy. I guess I'm just looking for someone to connect with and have a good time with. My interests include reading, watching films, and spending time with friends."

*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

Wha...? Did you say something?

Have you seen Singles? One of my very quotes from that movie is from a guy who has responded to Debbie Hunt's video for a dating service. They're showing clips of the guys, and one of them is uber creepy, and he just says, "I am very, very, very lonely."

I've seen a few of those on Match. And they keep looking at my profile. But I have been talking to a nice boy (yes, boy - 27) who just moved here a few months ago from Beaumont, Texas and plays guitar. So we talk about cowboy chords and Sonic. I do love their cherrylimades. There's been talk of maybe meeting for coffee, but no plan yet.

So when my membership is up in a couple of weeks, I think I'll just let it expire. I can say been there, done that. Woohoo.

And thus, another thrilling adventure that I share with you, dear reader.
I wonder what's next?

The Soap Opera That Is My Life

Or, How I Could Have Slept With A New Yorker and A Couple From California, All In One Night.

A friend from work wanted to start a blog, so she was asking me for advice and assistance. I showed her my blog and she's become a faithful reader. She stopped me in the hallway a couple of days ago and said "You are such an interesting person! I love your blog!" I was flattered. Someone thinks I'm interesting.

Well, she's going to have a field day with one. Hold on to your undies, dear reader. Raechelle had a wild night last night.

Jamie and I started the evening off at the Purple Cafe and Wine Bar downtown. We ended up meeting a cutie pie from New York. He gave me his number, I gave him mine, he left and went back to his hotel. Fifteen minutes later, I had a text from him. A very flattering text. So I texted back. Because texting is harmless, right?

Ha.

As he got more comfortable, the man texted words I can't even say to my girlfriends with a straight face and invited me to his room, more than once, to help him pack. In case you're wondering, no, I did not entertain the idea of accepting the invitation. Although....he was a hottie.

Meanwhile, Jamie and I finished up at The Purple and, since it was merely 8pm, we headed across the street to the W Hotel. We were feeling quite social, so we chatted with a few guys, and then with a couple that were ordering drinks next to us.

They were visiting from California and they wanted to go dancing, so Jamie and I suggested some places and they left. The girlfriend came back a few minutes later and said I was really cool and we should meet up tomorrow night. We exchanged numbers. Because texting is harmless, right?

Ha.

I got a text from them a little while later. Would I be interested in having some fun with a couple?

Here's where Jamie says, "I don't know why you have low self esteem, Raechelle. Even women are coming onto you." I did feel pretty damn cool as my phone was dinging all night. I eventally had to label the numbers NY Guy and CA Couple because I couldn't keep the area codes straight. And Jamie and I could do nothing but laugh hysterically at the complete absurdity of the night. We think it was the full moon.

Ah, and here's where I will leave you dangling, dear reader. Cruel, aren't I? I will say that a threesome did not happen and the bathrooms in the W Hotel are almost bigger than the rooms themselves.

And I came home alone.
I'm not completely stupid. I just like good blog material.

I Think I'm In Heat

The new floors now cover the entire hallway at work. It's horrible. And the smell is choking me.

But anyway, the real story. I got here this morning, unlocked and opened my door and slammed it back against the wall so it would catch on the little doorstop hookie thing. Well, the doorstop hookie thing was missing but it was early and I hadn't had my coffee yet, so this didn't occur to me for about 30 or 40 seconds. On most days, it takes a couple of tries to get it latched.

After a bit, I realized that something was wrong because the door just wasn't catching. I finally looked down and saw the problem. Perfect. So I called the project manager, told him my doorstop hookie thing was missing and he said he'd send someone over.

An hour later, A Construction Dude came over. Complete with facial hair. And a tool belt. I gave him a hard time about the floors. He assured me it was the night crew. He said he wouldn't do something so mean as to change out the floors without asking me. I may have laughed too loudly. And tossed my hair.

I fear I have become one of those women.

A Wild & Crazy Thursday Night

I sense that Thursday night will turn into Grooming Night. I painted my nails, plucked my eyebrows, exfoliated. I figure, I clean and do laundry on Wednesdays. Why not groom on Thursdays? Then Friday, I'm ready for the men.

(laugh)

I'm very funny. There are no men.

But my eyebrows look good and my nails are shiny, so I'm ready.
Should one just pop up.

I Want To Be The Flower, Dammit!

I had lunch with Jamie today and the discussion turned, of course, to relationships and the careful cultivation required. Eventually the metaphor of gardening came up and the more we talked about it, the more it fit so perfectly.

Relationships are like gardening. You plant the seed. You wait. You learn that certain plants take certain care - some thrive on water and sun, some thrive on minimal light and little water. You just have to know your plant. Know what your plant needs.

And, as Jamie said, it takes manure. A lot of manure.
She's currently in the manure phase.

Someone once said, "There are flowers and there are gardeners." I'm ready to be a flower. I've killed cacti in the past. I have no green thumb. Actually, would it be a red or pink thumb if we're still talking about relationships? That conjures up the vision of an infected or inflamed thumb, which also kind of reminds of relationships and how when you slip and hit yourself........ Wait......I'm getting off topic......

Anyway, I may be doomed. I am no gardener.
But I have manure, so I got that goin' for me.

Was It Something I Said?

This dating shit sucks.

Everything starts off peachy with the Potential Date this evening. Jokes are made, laughs are shared. Everyone's all touchy feely. But then.....something happens. Was it when I said I liked football? Was it when I mentioned I can't play bar chords yet? I'm not sure.

All I know is there was clickage and then......nada. Something, very similiar to a light switch, flipped off. The light went out. The laughter stopped. Ack.

I was walked to my car. We hugged goodnight. Poof. Date over.

I could take this personally. But I choose not to. I choose to think he suddenly got tired, or maybe he wasn't happy the way his set went, or maybe I'm just so cute he got scared and didn't know what to do. Yes. I'm sure that's it. I'm just too cute. I'm intimidating.

Damn shame. He was a sweetie.

*sigh*

Back to square one......

Boots and Dating

I'm wearing The Boots today. The consensus is that I don't look like a stripper. Which was my main concern. They feel a little go-go booty.

And, the Potential Date may have redeemed himself. I got an email last night asking me to join him at an open mic tonight. Hmm. He didn't actually call, so deduct a point. But there was contact, so add that point back in. He's breaking even right now.

Whatever. At this point, I'll take it.

Weekend Update

I had a very nice weekend.

Friday night, I came home from work, gulped down way too much pasta for dinner, then fell asleep on the couch. Woke up, went to bed. Lovely night.

Saturday was the dreaded Redskins/Seahawks game. The Sheans came over to keep me company and we watched with glee as the Seahawks actually made some good plays and won the game. It was touch and go there for a bit as Hasselbeck made some very big boo-boos. So we advance to next week - The Green Bay Packers. Something tells me this will be our last game of the seaon. Call it a gut feeling.

That evening, I had dinner with a co-worker and some of her friends down in Tacoma. Yes, Tacoma. Alllllll the way down in Tacoma. For dinner. Crazy, huh? But it was good to have some girl time.

Sunday was spent mostly in bed. Just cause. It was a good day.

And Sunday evening, one of my gals and I went to see Juno. I had never heard of it, but wanted to see her, so why not? Turns out, it was a fantastic movie. I may even buy it when it comes out on video. Very, very funny.

And in bed early last night.

And here we are today, back at work, back to back to back meetings and I take minutes for all of them. And I'm not the least bit good at it and I hear about how not good I am at it at every meeting. Yet they don't get anyone else to do it. Fun, huh?

Tonight is my massage, tomorrow is walking with the gals, Wednesday I may join Jamie at the spa for a pedi (if I can find room in the budget), Thursday is walking with Jamie and Friday is.....um. I got nothing for Friday. How can I be so busy all weekend, but have nothing planned for the weekend?

I was supposed to have an Actual Date this past weekend, but the guy never called me to make the plan. Can you believe that? He passed THIS up! Silly man. If he calls, I may give him another chance. Maybe.

Feel the power.

Breaking News!

Apparently, when you lose weight, you drop a shoe size. I'm at 6.5 now. Interesting. The ring size has also dropped - we're down to a 4 now. My favorite ring is slipping off. Crap.

In other weight loss news, I lost two pounds over vacation. Feel free to send me hate mail.

I spilled oatmeal on my skirt this morning. It looks like I threw up on myself. Just another reason I never buy good clothes. And I was lookin' hot today! Black sweater, black skirt, black tights, new black patent leather heels. I got it goin' on. Except for the oatmeal.

I got a phone number last night at Conor Byrne. Yeah, BABY, I got it goin' ON.

No big plans for New Year's tonight. I may just hang out on Darragh's couch and treat myself to some champagne. Screw the apple cider. We should be able to see the fireworks from his balcony.

Just about 12 hours left in this godforsaken year. Can I get a HELL YEAH!?

I've had three cups of coffee today. Think anyone will notice?

Happy New Year, faithful reader! Here's wishing everyone a fantabulous 2008!!