Saturday, February 25, 2012

The Aftermath

"Somebody better stick a camera up my ass today" - Rae-rae, checking into her colonoscopy appointment.

My procedure went swimmingly.  To quote my doctor's quick note on my chart "Good colon!"

However, when I tried to check in at 10am, they couldn't seem to find my appointment.  That's when I said the witty quote above.  They finally found my appointment, and after an hour of waiting, I was whisked away to a lovely prep bay.  I changed into my fabulous gown with matching robe and non-slip socks.  I answered all of the questions, got my wristband...and then my IV.

And let me tell you I was a big girl.  I didn't cry.  I didn't sweat.  I didn't punch the nurse.  She was very proud of me.  Because you know I told her she needed to prepare herself.  She put the IV in my hand, rather than the center of my elbow, so that helped a lot.

After that, I was escorted down to the procedure suite, where I laid on my side with all kinds of wires attached me.  The nurse said, "Okay, you'll start to feel a little sleepy..."  I remember blinking twice and noticing that the the computer monitor letters were getting blurry. 

And then I woke up with juice in my hand in the recovery room.  Poof.  The only evidence I have of something being done to me is the extra air in my intestines.  My middle is huge.  But other than than, nada.

Today, however, is a different story.

My head hurts and is still swimmy.  "Gassy" does not begin to describe my innards.  And I'm just mad.

It could be because, although I slept from 1:30pm to 6pm yesterday, and then went to bed at 11pm, I was up at 5:30am this morning to film episodes eight through 10 of The Collectibles.  In Bothell, which is 45 minutes away, where is was freakin' snowing.  I kid you not.

I made it until noon, but I was just angry and it was showing.  So I asked Todd to set up a ride home for him and Kayleigh, and I came home.  I slept for four hours, which helped the headache, but I'm still mad and still gassy.  It was nice to eat pasta for dinner, though.

I just got a text from Todd that they've wrapped and are on their way home, so it will be nice to hear about how things went today and watch a little footage.  I'm not sure if I'm up to filming tomorrow - we're looking at another 12 hour day.  Guess I'll see how I feel when I wake up at 5:30am tomorrow.

Ug.  I tell ya right now - 5:30am doesn't feel too good at all.  Maybe I should just go back to bed now.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Cleansing - A Journey

It is 6:30pm, the night before my colonoscopy.  I have just finished my 16oz of gunk and am now working on my two 16oz of water.  I have been on a clear liquid diet all day, despite my prepping effort and buying strawberry and cherry Jello.  Can't have red or purple liquids.  Crap.  So my wonderful son and daughter walked down to QFC and got me some lime and orange Jello.  It's no substitute for pasta, but it's one day.  I can live without solid food for one day.

The bathroom is prepared.  My laptop's electrical cord is there, I have a bucket and tons of toilet paper.

I am ready.

Let's cleanse!


Well, that didn't take long at all.  One hour exactly and whammo!   The cleansing has begun.  Also feeling a smidge nauseous just from all of the water I've choked down.  Blech.


Hour two.  Not so bad.  Yes, I've lost all feeling in my toes from sitting, but I've got Netflix streaming and lots of water, so I'm good.  It's not as gross as one might think.  Very...efficient.  And simple.  I wonder how I'll know when I'm done?


Okay, it's 9:56pm and I am removed from the bathroom.  I think I'm empty.  Aside from being REALLY hungry, this is not the horror I was expecting.  I pooped.  And I'm done.  Big deal.

Now talk to me tomorrow after I've got the IV jabbed into me.  Ha.


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Coming Soon!

You've read about the Boob Scare of '06.
You crossed your legs with me during the Colposcopy Scare of '09.

And now, it's the procedure you've all be waiting for.  Coming to this blog, RIGHT HERE, in 10 days...

Colonoscopy 2012.

Yes, folks, it's the big one!  The magic, the madness, the sedation, the IV!  There will be purging of enormous proportions!  There will be fasting, jello, clear liquids and, you can be sure, Valium (there MUST be Valium.  Otherwise, ain't no way in hell they're gettin' that IV in me).

I went to see Dr. Pollock (swear ta gawd) because I was having some...*ahem*..."issues" in my buttular region.  I have no qualms about these kinds of things.  I've had crap going on (HA!  CRAP!) all my life.  I blame genetics.  But a woman can only take so much.  It's hard enough feeling sexy in the boudoir with 40 extra pounds on me.  Add these frequent "issues", and well, something's gotta give.  So since I'm a big girl now, I'm having it taken care of.  Before the end of February.  When my insurance runs out.

Smart, yes?

Anywho, after examining me and reading about my parents' cancers, Dr. P suggested a colonoscopy prior to the surgery.  Just in case there was more going on than we thought.  He said, and I quote "I would hate to get in there and mess around, then find out I have to go in again and mess around some more."

I like Dr. P.

So, next Friday, the 24th at 10am, I will be, as my daddy says, roto-rootered (love those hillbillies). Then, on the 29th at 8:30am, I will have, what I like to call, reconstructive surgery.  I told Dr. P, "Make me pretty again!"  He laughed and said, "I can't guarantee perfection.  Just be aware."  This is why he works on the nooks and crannies.

Until then, I will clean, clean, clean!  I will worry about the IV later...

Employment Free - Day 1

First and foremost, I slept until 9am.  Yeah, baby.

I got up, had a little breakfast, had a little tea, surfed a little of the interwebs, then showered and got into my cleaning clothes.  So many projects, so little time!!

First up, under the kitchen sink.  It was disgusting.  That took all of 20 minutes.

But then, the pantry.  And I took pictures!!

This walk in pantry is one of the reason we bought this house.  You just can find space like this in old craftsman houses.  I don't know what we'd do without this thing.

But, as you can see, it tends to get a little out of control.  It's part tool shed, part pantry, part storage.  Too much crap.

So I moved the big tools downstairs to the bottom laundry shelf.  Which required cleaning the laundry shelf, and pulling out the laundry shelf and vacuuming behind it, then vacuuming the whole downstairs and the stairs themselves.  But back to the pantry.

Wala!  The goal was to be able to access all of the platters and entertaining stuff I use.  I had trays and platters and bowls strewn all over the kitchen.  But now, they're on that top shelf.  Easy to get to.  The toolbox is still down there, with the hammer and mallet and some other handy stuff.  All tidy. 

For about two hours.  Then I went into the pantry to throw something in the compost (that white trashcan on the right) and saw this:

It's like we have gnomes that go behind me and mess stuff up.  And I think we know who those gnomes are, don't we?  Grrr.

Tomorrow, I think I'll tackle the crawl space at the bottom of the basement stairs.  I bet a lot of that crap could go to Goodwill.  Look out - Rae-rae's purging!!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

What's Up With Me

Well, lets see.

I'm getting over a cold.  Todd's been sick for a couple of weeks, so of course, I caught it too.  Mostly just sinus crap and a cough.  Probably from the sinus crap.


I've become addicted to Sons of Anarchy.  I'd seen a couple of episodes a while back and thought, eh.  It's okay.  But then we started thinking about who could play Todd in "Green Light" and Todd thought of Ryan Hurst (below - yum) so, of course, we had to do research.  See how Ryan's acting was.  And it was during this research, I became officially addicted to this show.

Don't know about it?  It's about a motorcycle club in Charming, California.  They're a tight family and there's drama and there's killing and there's lots of boys with long hair who drive motorcycles.  Love it.  And while they seem to be all tough and mean, they really do love their family and protect each other.

We were in the Junction yesterday and I heard a motorcycle drive by and got a little excited.  "It's the Sons!"


Oh, I didn't drink for five days.  That's worth noting.


I'm on my last leg at work.  I have one full week, then the 13th and 14th, then I'm done.  And no I don't have another job lined up yet.  Two possibilities, but nothing concrete.  I am eligible for unemployment (since my position was eliminated) so we won't be destitute by any means.  Oddly enough, I like the job better now that Super Boss and the 23 year old are gone.  Damn.


We have a date set for the table read of "Green Light".  Don't know what a "table read" is?  Lemme esplain.

Bunch of actors sit around a table (or, in this case, our living room) and read the script.  We have about 15 actors and each actor has been assigned a part (or two).  Someone will read the narrative (the setting "Dark apartment - nighttime") and then the actors will chime in and read their lines.  I've learned that this is the first step in editing a script.  You want to read it aloud, all the way through, to see how it flows.  Do some lines seem out of place?  Does the jump from one scene to the next make sense?  Does that line even work?

Our friend Lisa is spearheading this.  We sent her the script, she loved it, she emailed with "Time to schedule the read!!"  She contacted most of the actors, she got it scheduled.  She's running the show.  And Todd and I are just fine with that.  We'll listen in on the read (it will be weird to hear someone else saying things I've said) and we'll give our two cents, but this is Lisa's project.  It's just easier that way.  Todd and I are way too close - we'd be critiquing every little thing and the movie would never get made.

Anywho, I'm super excited.  And super nervous.  If you'll remember, faithful reader, this movie is (in part) about my horrible year of 2007 when I made The Ginormous Mistake, and then The Fiasco happened.   We are telling this story to the public.  Yes, my good friends know about that time, and they know that I'm not the same person, but people who don't know me are going to think "What a bitch!"

Hopefully we've written the story in a way that shows how broken I was and how I eventually redeemed myself.  Hopefully.


Speaking of movie making, we have a full week of that stuff!  The night after the table read, I'm attending a dinner for women in film.  I'm going alone.  Without Todd.  By myself!  I KNOW!

Lisa, mentioned above, is hosting this dinner, so I emailed her and said "Tell me I'm going to know some people there!"  She assures me I will and she's very excited that I'm coming.  Makes me feel loved.

Might need to have Jamie do my hair.  I need to look extra spiffy.

And then the night after that, we have a movie premiere, where Lisa will again be in attendance, as well as most of the women who will be at the dinner AND at the reading.

I believe the word you're looking for is "saturated".


So, work, movies, social events, TV shows...what else is going on?

Health is okay.  I'm going to start kickboxing class with Trish next week.  The instructor assures me she will not have us sparring again.  And Trish will be with me so I should be okay.

I am uncomfortably overweight now (but I'm happy, dammit!) so I'm a bit more motivated to try and slim down.  I've had chocolate once in the past week.  And I don't drink coffee during the week now.  I drink green tea at work.  Coffee is now a special treat on the weekend (I put lots of sugar in it).  I'm walking a bit more because I'm taking the bus every day.  It's the little things.  I'm not going to fool myself into thinking I can quit eating processed foods and carbs and crap.  Baby steps to being better.


However, all of that is out the window today.  Super Bowl Sunday!  We're going over to some friends' where there will be lots of other good friends and food and alcohol, so I give myself a pass today.  I'm gonna have fun.  Enjoy the day!

I'll be better tomorrow.