Wednesday, January 30, 2008
This particular boxed lunch had a veggie sandwich that is the size of a baby's head, and a pasta salad, which is normally too much to eat in one sitting. So, right there is four lunches. I'm good for the rest of the week.
Then, this morning, there was a training session for the techs before I arrived to work and the trainer brought breakfast. Normally when these guests bring "breakfast" they bring a big bag of bagels with some schmear. Big whoop.
But THIS trainer brought a crapload of Costco muffins (also roughly the size of a baby's head), 40 or 50 Yoplait yogurts and a ton of juice boxes. And I had ordered coffee. So, imagine my surprise when I went into the kitchen before my 8am meeting and saw this leftover breakfast laid out before me. I grabbed a couple of yogurts, wrote my name on them and put them in the fridge, and I grabbed a pumpkin/chocolate muffin (which was way too big to actually finish) to start my day and filled up my coffee cup.
All in all, not a bad Wednesday.
Pushy prick boy is not deserving of my forgiveness as apparently, he thinks he's done nothing wrong and, as Shaun so eloquently put it, "Blanket forgiveness without him acknowledging the problem gives tact approval to the behavior - like enabling a drug addict."
Which makes me see that regardless of how I choose to handle him, it does not affect how my friends handle me. I actually have remorse for my actions, I acknowledge my mistakes and I am responding to them in the best way I know how. Pushy prick boy really hasn't acknowledged anything. And apparently, he has learned nothing.
I have this quote on my fridge:
"Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts." --- Nikki Giovanni
(I like this quote of her's too. After denying the fact that cancer has made her a better person - "If it takes a near-death experience for you to appreciate your life, you're wasting somebody's time.")
So! Stick a fork in it, it's done.
On to the next issue.......
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Anthony's is having it's Lobster Fest. Oy. A prefix menu that includes a starter (chowder or a salad - of course I went for the chowder because only pansies go for the salad at a prefix) and then an entree of lobster tail with potatoes and a veggie for the low, low price of $19.95. Add dessert (cheesecake with a raspberry sauce) and a glass of champagne and you have one nauseous chick. Oh gawd. Jamie has some great ideas, but I always end up hurting somehow afterwards. Ya gotta love her.
Now, a little epiphany (see: tangent) about forgiveness.
As you may recall, I've had a bad year. In addition to ending a six year relationship and turning my simple little world upside down, I did some very bad things. I made some mistakes. I lied to some friends. I lied to some people who were more than friends. I cried alot. I drank alot. I took pretty pink prescription pills.
But I survived (and I'm no longer taking the pretty pink pills). I've grown, I've learned and (hopefully) I've come though a better person. Most of my friends have scolded me, then forgiven me and we've moved on. But I feel like there are a couple people still on the fence. I know they love me, but I also know I hurt them more than I ever thought I could. I know they've almost forgiven me, and I'm so very grateful, but I'm wondering what needs to be done to push them over the fence so we can move on.
Now, the flip side.
Remember the "friend" I met down at the Lock & Keel to play pool with back in July? I thought we were just hangin' out, shootin' some pool, but he thought it was a full on date and he was all over me. And, though I didn't mention it at the time, he kissed me when he walked, er followed, me to my car. Quite forcibly. And it freaked me out.
Unfortunately, this guy works in my building so I have to see him occasionally. For the first month after that night, I wouldn't even look at him. Before this incident, I used to joke with him, but, ha! No more of that. Then, one day he stopped in my office and said, "So I guess you hate me now?"
Um. You could say that.
No apologies for being a pushy prick, just a flippant remark. Which made me even angrier. I said, "No, I don't hate you. But I don't like you very much. You made me extremely uncomfortable so I'd just rather not talk to you anymore." His reply? "Yeah, I was a bit pushy....." No apology.
So that was that.
Except lately, he seems to think we're okay. He thinks because it's been seven months, I should be over it. He's even referred to me as "hot stuff", like he did post-pushy prick incident. He invited me to his birthday party. He asks if I have plans on the weekend. He's just not getting the hint. I'm not rude to him (although my co-workers say I should be). I make extremely small talk, only if I must, then I walk away.
Here's where fate and karma and the universe speak to me and I get all deep. Cue the spiritual music and mystical chimes.
Am I supposed to forgive this person and give him a second chance? Even though I think he is an absolute creep? I'm asking for forgiveness and a second chance from people (and I know they think I'm a creep in some ways), but I feel like the process is stuck. Is it because I can't seem to do the same thing that I'm asking of people? Is the universe saying "How do you expect your friends to forgive you and give you a second chance if you can't do the same thing?"
The thing is, I don't think this guy is worthy of a second chance. I think he's slimy and creepy and icky. I think giving him a second chance at just being my friend would only encourage him to be more creepy toward me. It would be like giving him permission to go back to calling me hot stuff (which makes my stomach turn) and flirting with me. I don't want that relationship with him. Forgiving him would be like saying, oh, it's okay. No biggie.
It's not okay.
But if I don't forgive him, I don't think my friends are going to forgive me. I think they feel the same way. I think they feel like by forgiving me and giving me a second chance, they're basically saying, oh, it's okay. La la la. Regardless of the difference in situations, regardless of "how wrong" something is. Hurt is hurt and forgiveness is forgiveness.
I really think this is one of those tests.
So, my Carrie Bradshaw moment:
Can I swallow my pride, and my hurt, and forgive this guy? Will my friends be able to swallow their pride, and their hurt, and forgive me?
Your local news is next.....
Monday, January 28, 2008
4 jobs that I have held:
Golf ball picker-upper at a driving range
Ballroom dance instructor
Montessori school assistant
4 movies that I would watch over and over:
When Harry Met Sally
The Wedding Singer
Shaun of the Dead
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
4 places I have lived:
(that's not really what they mean, is it? Oh, okay. Texas & Washington. I suck.)
4 shows that I watch:
Lost (when it's actually on)
4 places I have been:
Outside Rosie O'Donnell's house in Nyack, NY
Inside Gucci on Rodeo Drive
The Famous Tootsie's in Nashville
On top of a butte in Eugene, Oregon (the only thing I've ever "summited" in my life. I thought I was going to die.)
4 of my favorite foods:
Pagliacci's salmon primo pizza
Rosita's vegetarian chimichangas
Lamb (Yeah, I said it. LAMB. So there.)
4 places I would rather be (right now):
In a cabin, in the snowy mountains, in front of a fire (I'm freakin' freezing.)
In a hot tub (I'm very, very cold. It's 36 degrees here.)
In a four star hotel overlooking the water....somewhere. Don't care where.
In the arms of a sweet, sweet man (okay, I ran out of ideas....and I'm not a beach kinda girl)
4 people who email me the most:
4 people who I think will respond to this are:
No one, cause I didn't email it to anyone.
Although I don't think Tricia has this meme on her blog yet, so maybe she'll post it.
4 things I am looking forward to this year:
Wearing shorts (15 lbs thinner!)
Partying this summer with my new friends
Visiting Nestorville (hopefully)
Dating someone who thinks I'm fabulous and lets me know it
"If I don't shave, I must behave."
I like it.
Because this is my old dresser:
Jamie saw this and said, "Um, I like how you have easy access to your socks." Funny.
This new dresser came in two boxes from Ikea. It looked very daunting.
Oh, but no.
I am woman. Hear me roar. Yep, that's right.
ALL BY MYSELF!
And! Ikea has these nifty drawer organizers. It was a party here this evening!
I have all the dainties in one box (and I'm not afraid to post a picture of them on the internet), white footie socks in one box, work socks in one box, etc. It's an organizers dream!
Funny thing though, sauerkraut and hot dogs were meal in the Marsh household when I was growing up. And while the smell of sauerkraut makes me sick, it does bring back fond memories. I don't really eat hot dogs either, except from the little stands on Old Ballard Avenue at 1 in the morning after a few drinks. And I think sauerkraut is one of the toppings. I never get it though. Just a little mustard and a little ketchup.
Cream cheese is a topping option, too. I hear it's a New York thing. My east coast friends say that's a load of crap. I must have an east coast reader or two. Do you guys put cream cheese on your dogs?
Friday, January 25, 2008
We get money in the mail and then we go spend the money, preferably on frivolous things, and suddenly the economy is stimulated? By money that was taken out of some government account? Isn't the government in debt? So, are they just going to print out more bills? Cause they can do that, right?
It kind of sounds like, me buying presents for all of my friends (wooing them, if you will), in hopes that they will, in turn, buy me a present. If I had all that money (billions) to buy them presents, why wouldn't I just go out and buy my own damn present?
I hate to be unpatriotic, but I will not be frivolously spending my little check this summer. I will proabably pay down some credit card debt or my student loan. Wouldn't it be funny if every single person who got a check put it toward their credit card bill?
George would be sitting back, saying, "Waita minute. The economy ain't stimulated? But we sent them checks. Didn't they buy cars and XBoxes? They were SUPPOSED to buy cars and XBoxes!"
Maybe there will be instructions with our checks.
Here's a picture for Carrie, because she's new:
See, I got heels. I got LOTSA heels. Bulky heels, stiletto heels, go-go heels. I got 'em all.
But a girl needs an everyday boot. One she can throw on with a simple black skirt and t-shirt and spend the day walking around a market. Without hobbling at any point.
And speaking of new boots, Jamie and I got a wild hair after all this boot talk on our walk last night and headed to Northgate. That's why I love Jamie. At 7pm on a Thursday night, she says, "We may have to go shopping." I said, "Now?" She said, "Why not?" Fantastic!
The $29 Baker boots were a bust. Comfy, but they sagged around my ankles. Even the sales girl said she wouldn't wear them. Jamie says it's just because my legs are too thin. Another reason why I love her.
So I came home empty handed.
But that's probably best, because Rachelle, Val and I are headed to the outlet mall tomorrow. Eddie Bauer has their puffy coats on sale (does anyone else immediately think of George's Gortex coat?) and I've been on a puffy coat kick lately. You know about my kicks. Once I get something in my head, it's stuck there. The only coats I have are my more formal wool coats (and my full length orange leather coat that I haven't worn in two years). I want a casual coat that's a bit more hip than a wool peacoat. And these puppies are warm. Full of down.
And then at some point, I need to buy a dresser. Mine broke. The front of my sock drawer came off. I'm sure there's a way to fix it, but I don't know how and this thing is ugly and it simply does not fit in the vision I have for my boudoir. I'm a single gal - I need to create a love nest. A powder blue laminate dresser that came with my very first Seattle apartment does not say "love nest". It says "I've had the same dresser since I was six years old and I've never had a boy in my bedroom."
So, you can see why I need a new dresser.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
I've only worn the wedge heel boots I just bought once. And now I think I need another pair. Flat ones.
Patent leather. Ooooh. Only $235. And they have them in red......
Ah, but then:
More practical. $180.
But oh. Baker's is having a 50% sale!
A mere $29:
We may have a winner. And it's only one dinner out. I can skip a dinner out......
And now I have Rehab, by Amy Winehouse, stuck in my head.
"Try to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no....."
Why is my hair growing such a big shock to everyone? Hair does that. It grows. It's an amazing thing, isn't it? But people are just so surprised by it. I don't remember ever saying, "Oh, let's see how long I can get my hair. Can I get it down to my knees?" That's not the real reason for it's length.
The real reason is that the woman who cuts my hair charges $65 a pop. And that's a lot of money to just cut an inch or two off to clean it up. So, I go in about once or twice a year and have her shape it. And she's so good, the shape lasts for months. That's all it really needs at this point.
And the real, real reason? The boys like the long hair.
And I'm likin' the boys likin' me right now.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Relationships are like gardening. You plant the seed. You wait. You learn that certain plants take certain care - some thrive on water and sun, some thrive on minimal light and little water. You just have to know your plant. Know what your plant needs.
And, as Jamie said, it takes manure. A lot of manure.
She's currently in the manure phase.
Someone once said, "There are flowers and there are gardeners." I'm ready to be a flower. I've killed cacti in the past. I have no green thumb. Actually, would it be a red or pink thumb if we're still talking about relationships? That conjures up the vision of an infected or inflamed thumb, which also kind of reminds of relationships and how when you slip and hit yourself........ Wait......I'm getting off topic......
Anyway, I may be doomed. I am no gardener.
But I have manure, so I got that goin' for me.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
In my web surfing today, I've noticed a pattern.
I watched Superbad last night, and this is Emma Stone, who played Jules:
A Fine Frenzy's "Almost Lover" has been playing non-stop on my iPod for two months now. This is the lead singer, Alison Sudol:
Along with "Almost Lover", Rilo Kiley's "Portion for Foxes" is on constant play as well. I know, how can I play both songs constantly? Well, one is fast, one is slow. Depends on my mood. Anyway, this is Jenny Lewis, lead singer of Rilo Kiley:
There is a definite trend. And, to me, they all look like my cousin, Kristin. Why couldn't I have gotten the red hair gene?
This is how interesting my day is.
She goes to Ray's Boathouse with Jamie and has two glasses of wine and big ol' piece of chocolate carmel cake for lunch.
Now, she gives herself permission for this midday overindulgence because 1) she is in a safe environment with her girlfriend 2) there are no cute boys around inwhich to lure her into a precarious situation (well, there are, but Jamie is a true friend and nips that in the bud before Party Girl can even say "Hey baby!") and 3) she leaves her cell phone at home so she cannot drunk text or dial anyone of importance. Our Party Girl has taken all necessary precautions.
It must have been an okay decision because life is looking much better this morning. And our Party Girl has survived relatively unscathed.
Except for a slightly bruised heart.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
My battle cry? "How hard can it be?!"
Actually, not hard at all. Not pretty at all, either. But when the curtain is hanging, you can't even tell that 1) I used yellow thread because it was the closest match to the green curtain and 2) the seam is far from straight.
Just call me the happy homemaker.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
"I don't know if I want to roller skate in a strapless dress...."
I chuckled. They heard me and looked over.
I said "That sounds like a very bad idea to me."
The friend said, "Yeah. I think so, too."
Friday, January 18, 2008
An adult, level II/III class. And it kicked my ass. The warm ups were somewhat easy. I remembered all of the poses (did I tell you I took ballet at the Unviersity of Houston? That and algebra. I needed two classes to actually be enrolled. I ended up first at the bar. And I failed algebra.) and could do the plies. But, oy the keeping up part. I can never remember where my arms need to go. Up, side, front.....ack. It's hard enough remembering where my leg is supposed to go.
I got through the first couple of exercises okay but had no problem just stopping and staring at the other dancers' feet to see what they were doing when I was completely lost, which was most of the time. The exercises would normally end with a balance stance. And I got balance. I can balance like nobody's business. So, I'd just wait for that part to roll around.
Jamie, however, was amazing. She hasn't taken a class in I can't remember how many years, but she stuck in there until the bitter end, when they were doing hops and quick, triple time kicks. Amazing. I didn't even pretend to keep up at that point. I just stood off to the side, balancing (cause I'm awesome) and watching.
Every time she'd look at me, I'd just mouth "I want child's pose..."
The next class will be ballroom dancing. I need to be in my element for a change. Either that, or I'll make Jamie sing at an open mic.
And then there's the infamous "Do Not Disturb" sign, which has gotten used quite frequently this week. So much so, that the edges of the paper are torn and the tape has repeatedly ripped off the page because I yank the sign down with a little too much force.
Someone just popped into my office and, after seeing my collection of battered signs, said, "You should print up some pretty signs and have them laminated."
So that's one of my projects today. Designing signs.
This one is my favorite, hands down.
I was told it's scary, but also evokes pity for me.
Ya gotta love fonts.
This week has been crazy. Emails popping up constantly, my phone ringing constantly, people popping into my office constantly, me threatening to throw my stapler at people popping into my office constantly. It's like the earth is spinning at 10 times it's normal speed. I have acquired three hours of overtime this week. Me! Overtime! Oh, I'm not getting the overtime. No. I just leave early. Much better for my mental health than money.
I'm not one of those people who whines about "Oh, I was here until 7pm last night, and oh, I got here at 6:30am this morning, and oh, golly, I'm so important around here....". Even though, apparently, I am very important around here. Things would not get found. Why, just this morning, my boss called and asked where the fiscal year financial book for 06/07 was.
Me: "I don't know. You keep those in your office. Right above your head. In the binder I labeled for you - Fiscal Year O6/07."
Boss Lady: "Well, the binder isn't here. I have FY 07/08 and 05/06. No 06/07."
Me: "Have you checked in your closet?"
BL: "I need the statements for June 06 and it's not here. I have FY 07/08 and 05/06. No 06/07."
Me: "Have you checked in your closet?"
BL: "Do you have the binder in your office?"
Me: "No. I don't keep any of that stuff in my office. Have you maybe checked in your closet?"
BL: "I don't know where I would have put that binder. Can you come look, see if I'm overlooking it?"
Me: "Okay, I'll come check your closet."
When I go into her office, guess where she is?
In her closet.
BL: "Oh! Here it is. Did you put this in here?"
Maddening. And the questions that would not get answered?
Where's [Boss 1, Boss 2 or Boss 3]?
That thing is hanging out of the ceiling again. Could you fix that?
Do you know where the label maker is?
(It's in my office now. Because I'm tired of answering this question.)
What's the number for such-n-such?
The fax machine needs toner. Could you do that?
Where's that thing you gave to me yesterday?
Do we have any band aids?
(Did I mention I work in a clinic?)
Remember that woman in the meeting? What's her phone number?
Do we really get Monday off?
The bathroom floor is sticky. Could you call someone?
We have ants. Who would I call for that?
We're having a potluck. Could you reserve a conference room?
The copier won't work. Could you fix that?
Do you ever plan to clean out the fridge? - I kid you not.
My response to this one? "I wear pearls to work. No, I do not plan to clean out the fridge." However, I'm cleaning out the fridge this afternoon. Because, really, who else is going to do it?
They call it job security, but I don't know if that's a good thing anymore.
Oh, how I'm looking forward to curling up into bed tonight, blankets with the satin edge pulled up to my chin, alarm turned off (hell, maybe even the clock unplugged). I will fall asleep with a smile on my face and my soul at ease, knowing that I don't have a DAMN thing to do tomorrow. Or Sunday. Or Monday. I may lay in bed until noon. I may get up early and make breakfast. I may go for a walk. The possibilities are endless.
And I won't have to worry about anyone wanting anything from me.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Now? I buy cookies. I buy frozen yogurt. I buy sparkling cider. It's very sad. That 15lbs I lost should be back right around summer. I need a new "treat". One with no calories.
My mind just went straight into the toilet.
I should move on.........
I can't seem to read unless I'm in the tub now. I finished "Life of Pi", so I searched my bookshelf for a new book. I decided on "In the Meantime" by Iyanla Vanzant. Then I ran a bath.
Funny. When I looked this book up (yes, looked it *up*. HA!), I was surprised to see it was by Iyanla Vanzant. As I was reading it, I was picturing Maya Angelou in my head. And I've read this book before. I knew it wasn't by Maya. Now I feel deceived.
I digress. So I wanted to start a new book. It's a good time for this particular book. Finding the love you want. But first you have to love yourself. Do I love myself? I think so. I don't particularly like that I can get cranky at the drop of a hat, or that I'm quick to judge people, but I know that, deep in my heart, I'm a loyal friend and I care about people and I try to do the right thing when I can. I think I'm a good person. So I guess I love myself. I have to now that there's no one else lovin' on me, huh?
I mean lovin' me.
Mind = toilet.
I cooked dinner tonight. Pasta primavera. Zucchini, carrots, mushrooms, onions and angel hair pasta. And I ate too much. Then I took a hot bath. Then I had two cookies. Now I feel icky.
Damn the cookies.
It snowed last night and that snow froze overnight so that it was ice this morning. The drive to work was flat out scary. But in a fun earthquake scary kind of way. I decided to go through Fremont, rather than across the Ballard Bridge and down Nickerson, because Fremont is flat and Nickerson is not. It didn't really make much of a difference. We got up to maybe 9 miles an hour. Lots of sliding.
The left side of my jaw is popping regularly these days. Very interesting. I wonder if my bite is off? Need to go see my dentist. I'll make an appointment tomorrow.
Daniela and Sergio had their second baby last week! Oliver. So cute. I miss them.
The Potential Date from last week has not called. We can officially forget about him now. That was fun. Shaun has advised me to never date theater people or musicians. They're flakey. Coincidently, Shaun used to work in theater and he plays guitar. So I consider him an expert. I like the comment Heather left - I tried him on and got a little use out of him. He took up an evening (yes, took *up*! HA!)
There is a ladybug flying around my dining room light. And now my head hurts and my vision is distorted from looking at the light, trying to see what the hell is flying around it. How did a ladybug get in here?
Speaking of ladybugs, maybe I'll watch A Bug's Life tonight. I love Dennis Leary's character, the ladybug. Yes, there's a bit of a fighting/war theme (the grasshoppers bully the ants so the ants will supply them with food but the ants make a boo boo and don't have food for the grasshoppers so the grasshoppers threaten to kill all the ants) but it's cute cause they're grasshoppers.
Funny word. Grasshopper.
I'm itchin' for a weekend away. We get next Monday off but it's too late to do anything now. We'll just consider that an extra day to sleep in. However, we also get Presidents' Day off in February, so that gives me a whole month to plan. So many options. Mountains or water? Snow or no snow? Oregon or Canada? Bed and breakfast or little cabin? My goodness.....
Are you bored yet? I'm just babbling at this point.
I'll leave you with this, a picture from my younger, crazier days:
And yes, there was wine involved.
Holy crap, what a painful movie. And it's a true story, which makes it just infuriating.
Action/war drama based on the best-selling book detailing a near-disastrous mission [Rae's note: Um..."near" disastrous?] in Somalia on October 3, 1993 where nearly 100 U.S. Army Rangers, commanded by Capt. Mike Steele, were dropped by helicopter deep into the capital city of Mogadishu to capture two top lieutenants of a Somali warlord which lead to a large and drawn-out firefight between the Rangers and hundreds of Somali gunmen which led to the destruction of two U.S. Black Hawk helicopters in Mogadishu, and the heroic efforts by various Rangers to get to them, centering on Sgt. Eversmann, commanding one Ranger unit named Chalk Four, leading Rangers to the first black hawk crash site, to Warrant Officer Durant who was only survivor of the second black hawk crash site and whom was captured, to Col. McKnight who leads a rescue convoy for the Rangers only to get lost within the hostile city, to Sgt. Sanderson desperately trying to get to the first crash site, to Staff Sgt. Yurek who leads two fellow Rangers, Nelson and Twombly to meet with up their squad, Chalk Four, at the first crash site, to many others involved who where either killed or survived. Written by Matthew Patay
[B R E A T H E]
The best thing about this summary?
It's ONE SENTENCE. Fantastic!
Anywho, do not watch this movie unless you're just dying to see a body get blown apart. Yes, I'm serious.
After this, and Children of Men, I'm ready for a Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks movie with a lot of fluffy kittens in it. There's going to a chick flick night soon. I can feel it.
I had read this somewhere but thought it was a load of crap. Not so. I'm wearing a skirt and boots today (and have magically acquired the nickname "Sassy" by my co-workers) and I knew I had a static cling issue as soon as I walked outside my building. I thought my day was ruined.
But the lotion trick worked.
A tip from me to you.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
My first year in Seattle. Wacked off all my hair. This was at some club, with Amy, who I cropped out because I'd really like to just forget her.
This was the night I lost Amy after a few tequila shots. I found her trying to buy crack from some guy on the street. I took her to my place, she tried to make out with me, then passed out and we never spoke again. Ah, good times.
Couple years later. My, look how big that nose ring was! No wonder mom was so pissed when she saw it. Sorry mom. I see now how obnoxious it was. The stud is much better. But I still have the big ring. So be nice to me.
I cropped Erin out (sorry Erin) because her pupils are HUGE in this photo. I think we were just drinking, but it sure doesn't look like that. So, I'm protecting your rep, babe. Don't want people doing google searches for you and finding this photo. Who loves ya?
Not actually the sculpture park, but connected to it:
The mountain, making a rare January appearance:
We had a nice lunch at a Bolivian restaraunt with a lovely view of Pike's Place Market. It was like being in another city. Because I don't go to Pike's Place Market alot.
And, in case you were wondering how small my ass has gotten, here ya go. Compliments of McP.
Note to self: do not give that man the camera.
We got to the club, which was in Pioneer Square, around 9pm. For reference, Pioneer Square is where the Mardi Gras riots were my first year here. Mom immediately called me (because it made national news) and begged me to move home. I don't go to Pioneer Square very often. Little too rowdy for me. But we were there early, we parked pretty close to the club, and it wasn't too hoppin' yet. We did have to walk through Occidental Park, which just scares the shit out of me.
Ah, the club scene. I felt pretty hip. Had on my semi-fitting jeans (because I still don't have any jeans that aren't too big for me), new black clingy shirt and new black patent leather heels. I blended well. So did Rachelle and Val. The youngsters started pouring in around 10pm and the people watching began.
And because I now think in blog postings, some notes:
* I started checking out the guys and I found myself looking for wedding rings. Ha. Married guys don't go to these clubs. Married guys go to the pubs in their neighborhoods where they can stay close to home in case their wives call them or their kid gets sick.
* Girls grope other girls alot for attention. I was assuming the gaggle of chicks at the bar were gay, but Val pointed out that no, they probably just wanted attention. And the best way to get the attention of men? Make out with other girls. Duly noted.
* I am too short and not chesty enough to attract the attention of a bartender. I had to use the 5'9" well endowed (and proud, judging by her itty bitty tank top) blond standing behind me. She was happy to help.
* Music moves people in some very strange ways. One guy had little LED lights (like you'd attach to a key ring) in his hands and was putting on his own laser show on the dance floor. He had rhythm. I'll give him that. Which is more than I can say for over half of the other dancers. On woman, who had the body of a ballerina (complete with her hair in a bun) literally strutted back and forth like a chicken. She had her shoulders pulled back, and her head would jut forward to the beat. Just hypnotizing. Apparently the robot is not dead. At all. And one cute, young boy was doing calisthenics in the corner. He worked up quite a sweat. I'm sure the people who were watching me have all kinds of comments about my dancing, but remember, I'm secure and full of myself these days, so I'm okay with what everyone else thinks about me. I know I got rhythm.
* People pay money to stand in a loud, crowded club and talk on the phone. Or text. I wish I had actually taken MY phone in so I could have gotten a photo of all of the people on their phones. Wait....is that irony?
* No matter how thin I get, I will never, ever wear some of the things I saw the women wearing there. A skirt that is so short you can see the little curves of the bottom of their butt cheeks. Men, do you really find this appealing? If so, alright. I'll work on it. But I can't guarantee the same results.
* Clubbers worship DJs much like I worship Bob Schneider or Patty Griffin. At one point, everyone on the dance floor was facing the DJ booth, screaming and yelling like they were at a concert. The DJ would do....something.....with the music, I have no idea, but apparently it was quite impressive, as the crowd cheered again. I just looked at Rachelle and mouthed "WTF?"
After a while, Val motioned me to come down from the second level, where I was watching all of the activity. She asked if I was ready to leave. I said "Sure, you guys are ready?" Val replied with "Rachelle's knees are hurting and I have to get up early, so we're outta here."
It was midnight. We are not young pups anymore.
I took some Aleve before I went to bed. It seems to have warded off any of the aches I was dreading this morning. Still might take an epsom salt bath tonight.
But I'm looking forward to doing it again soon.
My Saturday was spent on the couch, between the Sheauns, yelling at the TV. It was a good way to wrap up the season. I'll watch next weekend, and of course, there will be the superbowl, but it's just not the same without our Seahawks.
At least my weekends are free again. For another eight months.
Pre-season starts in August!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
I'll just give you the important points, because the one from Thursday night is getting a bit hazy. But I still remember some bold details.
I was staying with someone and they wanted payment in pills. I don't know what kind of pills, but I handed him a baggie of pills. So did the other girl that was staying there. Then the guy said I didn't pay him, so I gave him another baggie of pills. But the girl found the other baggie I gave him so I took my baggie back.
To see a pill in your dream, signifies a restoration of your inner harmony. It is a period of healing and an end to those negative ideas in your mind.
Woohoo! Gettin' my inner harmony back!
Then, Jason Lee from My Name Is Earl was there. He was driving me and a little boy around, but he was drunk and we were scared. When he stopped, the boy and I ran into a feed shop (no idea) and the little boy was upset because he thought he had killed Dan Rather. So I was consoling him saying, "No, no. You didn't kill him. He just had to go. Really. It's okay..."
Dream Moods has nothing for Dan Rather.
Last night, I dreamed I was in an outpatient rehab. I would go to work, the go home to this dorm like place. But then I decided I wanted to escape, so I called Kim-n-Tim. Tim was going to meet me out behind the cafeteria to pick me up. Forget the fact that it's outpatient and I can apparently leave whenever I want.
From Dream Moods:
To dream that you are in a rehabilitation center, indicates that you are ready for a fresh new start. You are rebuilding a new self-image.
I also remember that I was wearing my inside slippers outside. And I was annoyed with myself. My dad bought me these furry slippers when I was home and they're fantastic. So they are now my inside slippers. They've never touch outside dirt. I have other slippers for that - ones that I wear down to the laundry room. But in my dream I had on these inside slippers outside. And I kept thinking, "Well great, I have to buy new inside slippers now."
(Slippers looks weird after you type it a hundred times.)
From Dream Moods:
To see or wear slippers in your dream, suggests that you are feeling sluggish and/or insecure. You feel that you do not have a strong foothold in some situation. Alternatively, it represents domesticity, ease, comfort, and/or relaxation. This dream symbol may mean that you need to relax. Or you are relaxing too much and are being lazy.
That's really not very clear, is it? I choose to think I feel like I do not have a strong foothold in some situation. And that I need to relax. I am not being lazy. My therapist told me so.
Then I was at a crafts fair of somesort, and it was closing down. But I was hanging out with this little boy who said I had a nice ass. Huh. Then there were stores, tried to go to Target but it was closed, met with a famous sculpter and told him my sculptures weren't going very well (knowing full well I did not sculpt. I just wanted to meet this guy. And someone was in on it. I can't remember who) and the sculpture gave me a hug and the bag I was holding caught fire.
From Dream Moods:
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolizes destruction, passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering your life. Your thoughts and views are changing. In particular, if the fire is under control or contained in one area, it is a metaphor of your own internal fire and inner transformation. It also represents your drive and motivation.
To dream that you are fighting flames, signifies that you will need to invest your best efforts and energy in your road to success and wealth.
To dream that you put out a fire [which I did], signifies that you will overcome your obstacles in your life through much work and effort.
Then there were messes. Three very particular rooms that were messy. Mom and I were cleaning out one because someone had died. There were a ton of really ugly, black, frilly dresses. One of the rooms was Steve's room, and then one was my room. But I didn't know which was which, so I didn't know which one to clean. I started to clean one, then thought, "No. He's going to want this room." So I messed it back up again. Then started cleaning the other one.
Dream Moods has crashed and won't let me search anymore. Apparently, it hates it when I remember my dreams, too.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Well, I got to the third part, I read the third part, and I still don't get. I was under the impression that a big revelation/realization/epiphany was coming. I got nothing. Was it all symbolism? The animals were people?
Could someone please explain this to me?
Still sniffling. Still coughing up a little stuff. I called the nurses at work, told them my symtoms, they told me to stay home. And yes, I'll get sick pay for these days. Our clinic is very generous with the sick time because they want us to stay home at the least little symptom. Since a lot of our patients are getting transplants, a simple cold could kill them.
However, our attendance policy states that if we have more than three "incidents" in a six month period, we get written up. So yes, stay home if you're sick, but if you're sick more than three times in six months, you're in trouble.
It's a vicious cycle. And one that upper management is aware of.
On the positive side, though, I have already finished two sets of minutes and after I shower and get another cup of coffee, will be getting working on another project. Yes, I could get used to this working from home stuff.
Management thanks you for your understanding.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
On my break, I found this great slideshow on how to fold a fitted sheet. Don't ask how I ran across this. It's a very long tangent. Now, I don't have any desire to fold a fitted sheet. I have one set of sheets. There's no reason to ever fold them. And when I do, it's in a ball. But the kitty is worth watching the slide show anyway. Such a cutie.
Also, found this. The Ecopod Recycling System. Fan-freakin'-tastic! Fan-freakin'-expensive but holy crap, this is aweome!
For those of you who don't recycle, bad on you. But I totally understand. I never recycled until I moved to Seattle. Then I had to learn very quickly. You are quite the disgrace around here if you just throw away plastic or paper. You can also be fined for it.
Anywho, my trash can holds a plastic bag from the grocery store.
And I take it out maybe every four or five days. The rest of my "trash" is recycling. Which I actually have to take out more often. If I had one of these Ecopod things, it would crush the recycling and I wouldn't have to take it out as often. And it would free up the space under my sink!
That's what I'm asking Santa for next christmas.
It's not all fun though. I brought work home with me.
Cause I'm dedicated like that.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Everything starts off peachy with the Potential Date this evening. Jokes are made, laughs are shared. Everyone's all touchy feely. But then.....something happens. Was it when I said I liked football? Was it when I mentioned I can't play bar chords yet? I'm not sure.
All I know is there was clickage and then......nada. Something, very similiar to a light switch, flipped off. The light went out. The laughter stopped. Ack.
I was walked to my car. We hugged goodnight. Poof. Date over.
I could take this personally. But I choose not to. I choose to think he suddenly got tired, or maybe he wasn't happy the way his set went, or maybe I'm just so cute he got scared and didn't know what to do. Yes. I'm sure that's it. I'm just too cute. I'm intimidating.
Damn shame. He was a sweetie.
Back to square one......
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
So I voted. And then the person I voted for lost and well, I drank an entire bottle of wine and decided it was all hopeless and what's the freakin' point of even trying?
But I will try again this year!
And I encourage you to try too!
Need help? Don't know Romney from Huckabee? But worship Star Wars? Then I have a very helpful link for you.
The Star Wars Guide to the Candidates.
May the force be with you.
Sunset Bowl has been sold to Avalon Ballard LLC, a real-estate developer. More condos.
I had a whole long rant posted, but what's the point. You know all this.
It just freakin' sucks.
And, the Potential Date may have redeemed himself. I got an email last night asking me to join him at an open mic tonight. Hmm. He didn't actually call, so deduct a point. But there was contact, so add that point back in. He's breaking even right now.
Whatever. At this point, I'll take it.
Monday, January 7, 2008
After my massage, I stopped at Bartell's to get a couple of boxes of Epsom salt so I could take a soakie tonight. That word looks weird. Am I the only (beside my parents) who says "soakie"? Anyway, got the Epsom salts and then ran across the heating pads and ice packs. I keep saying I need to buy both of these things but the top dog heating pad was a bit expensive so I'll have to save up for that. But I went ahead and got the ice packs.
Then I remembered that a friend told me Aleve might be good for my knees because they've been hurting lately. Most notably, on the plane to and from Houston. I didn't get up during the whole flight (yes, I know this is bad and that's what causes blood clots, blah blah blah). So I when I finally did stretch my legs out my knees just refused to straighten. They were so very sore. They've always made noises, and that's just fine, but now they hurt. Not good at all. So I got some Aleve to see if that would help.
Anyway! Point of this story. I get up to the register to pay and lucky me gets the very young, barely out of high school, probably doesn't have a pain in her body except for the pain in her heart because Cody or Devin or whoever didn't ask her to the big dance, because Jennifer (that slut!) started a rumor that our little checker girl was a prude and everyone knows that no high school boy wants to take a prude to the big dance because his friends would totally rag on him because they're gettin' some and he ain't because he took the known prude!
Where was I?
Oh yeah, the little checker takes all of these items out of my basket (two boxes of Epsom salts, two ice packs, and a box of Aleve), very slowly, and looks at me after she scans each thing. As if to say, "What are you? Like, old or something?"
Oh, for cryin' out loud. I got pain, okay! Just ring up the frickin items and let me get home so I can take my soakie and have a cup of hot bedtime tea before I conk out on the couch! Sheesh!
I'm going out tomorrow night.
Friday night, I came home from work, gulped down way too much pasta for dinner, then fell asleep on the couch. Woke up, went to bed. Lovely night.
Saturday was the dreaded Redskins/Seahawks game. The Sheans came over to keep me company and we watched with glee as the Seahawks actually made some good plays and won the game. It was touch and go there for a bit as Hasselbeck made some very big boo-boos. So we advance to next week - The Green Bay Packers. Something tells me this will be our last game of the seaon. Call it a gut feeling.
That evening, I had dinner with a co-worker and some of her friends down in Tacoma. Yes, Tacoma. Alllllll the way down in Tacoma. For dinner. Crazy, huh? But it was good to have some girl time.
Sunday was spent mostly in bed. Just cause. It was a good day.
And Sunday evening, one of my gals and I went to see Juno. I had never heard of it, but wanted to see her, so why not? Turns out, it was a fantastic movie. I may even buy it when it comes out on video. Very, very funny.
And in bed early last night.
And here we are today, back at work, back to back to back meetings and I take minutes for all of them. And I'm not the least bit good at it and I hear about how not good I am at it at every meeting. Yet they don't get anyone else to do it. Fun, huh?
Tonight is my massage, tomorrow is walking with the gals, Wednesday I may join Jamie at the spa for a pedi (if I can find room in the budget), Thursday is walking with Jamie and Friday is.....um. I got nothing for Friday. How can I be so busy all weekend, but have nothing planned for the weekend?
I was supposed to have an Actual Date this past weekend, but the guy never called me to make the plan. Can you believe that? He passed THIS up! Silly man. If he calls, I may give him another chance. Maybe.
Feel the power.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Yes. I proposed to him.
And, well, I don't think I need to tell you what happened. I'm not married, now am I? He didn't say no. After 30 minutes, he actually said yes, but I don't think he meant it. His death grip on the steering wheel during our drive home was quite telling. So, the next day I took it off the table.
But I was engaged for 14 hours.
A few of my friends have said, oh thank god, you guys didn't get married! They said I would have resented him on every anniversary because he didn't do the proposing. At the time, I just thought, if I want this to happen, I have to take the bull by the horns! Make it so! But looking back, my friends are right. I would have resented him for not stepping up. So it all worked out for the best.
I deserve to be wanted. I deserve to be pursued and sought after and desired. I spent too many years wrangling Steve into submission. It's not that he didn't want to be with me necessarily, it's just that he didn't do a whole lot to choose to be with me. Other than just not breaking up with me. He just went with the flow. Which was fine back then.
One of my favorite quotes from Dirty Dancing (because yes, I'm a dweeb):
"It didn't occur to me to mind."
Well, now I mind. I don't regret the past, but I've sure as hell learned a lot from it. I will not waste my time on someone who can't muster the energy to want me. Life is too short. And I'm too cute.
See's Candy truffles. But there's no map to tell you what's inside the truffle. So it's a complete gamble.
Who the hell decided that a blueberry truffle would be a good idea? Really? Blueberry?
Why not just stick beef in there? It's the same kind of gross.
And, in case you're wondering - no, it wasn't worth it.
I got home from dinner and was just sad. I was clingy and cold and craving a hug and my apartment was dark and empty. This isn't anything new, but it really hasn't bothered me before. Oh, but then one cocktail and suddenly I'm just a puddle of blue. Yes, I believe that is the very definition of cause and effect. My work day sucked too, which I'm sure contributed to the mood (and the permission I gave myself for the cocktail).
So, lesson learned. No more cocktails. Well, unless hugs are nearby. Then just one cocktail. One. I mean it.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
I hung out at Darragh's on New Year's Eve. He was asleep when I got there, and while he woke up for a bit to partake in champagne and baked brie, he fell back asleep during the movie. I had to wake him at midnight to celebrate. We watched the fireworks on TV.
Funny thing, there was a computer glitch so the fireworks at the Space Needle didn't go off at first. I thought, oh that's a bad way to start off the new year......
And so far, 2008 has been relatively uneventful.
I took my christmas decorations down yesterday. Or, started to. But then McP called, so we went to the beach for a bit, then just lounged around and watched movies the rest of the day. Much better than taking down decorations.
And side note - Children of Men is depressing as hell. I knew it would be bleak but holy crap. At one point, when there was nothing going on but a bunch of gunfire, I excused myself to the bathroom. McP said, "You want me to pause it?" I said, "Um. No. I don't think I'm going to miss anything too exciting." Consider yourself warned.
That's about all I got. Laundry tonight. Maybe hanging out with Jessica on Thursday. A girl's night Saturday. Oh! And the Seahawks play the Redskins on Saturday! My, won't that be a fun game! East coast vs West coast. How exciting! I'm sure the text messages will be flying! I need to find someone with a bigger TV. My little 14" isn't going do this game justice.