Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Country Bumpkin, Day 4

* Up at 9am.

* Started the curtain project.  Got sidetracked with computer stuff.  Back to the curtains.  Which was a fiasco.

* Mom sewed the two panels together so that the panels would open and close together.  We bought rings with clippies so they would slide on the rod easier.  But once mom got the panels together, there was a 1.5 inch difference.  What the hell?  Mom tries to tack that extra 1.5 inch up, but the end doesn't lay right.  If we're going to do this, let's just do it right.  I sit down and rip the stitch out so mom can sew the other ends together, which actually line up.  I shower while she sews.  I come out and she is flabbergasted.  The ends are 1.5 inches off.  Are you kidding me?  Screw it.  We're putting them up!

* We throw the 100% polyester curtains in the dryer with this awesome steam ball to steam out the wrinkles.  We failed to think about static cling.

* We pull the curtains out of the dryer and the sparks that come off of them could start a fire.  Crap.  Back in the dyer.  This time, with a dryer sheet.

* We're finally ready to put the clippies on the curtains and hang them.  But first, lets take down the vertical blinds.

* No problem.  Because we are awesome!

* We are SO on the same page that we agree we should get a tape measure to space out the clippies perfectly.  I love my mother.

* The curtains are up!  But.  We forgot about the curtain over the kitchen sink.  Oh, and the rug on the floor in front of the sliding glass door.  This will never do.  We might have to go shopping again.

* After all that hard work, lunch.

* And after lunch, off to pick up prescriptions, spackle for the new holes above the sliding glass door, and the Wellness Center to do some water exercises.  Mom has been working out here for the past three weeks.  I'm so proud of her.

* The two older men seem to be very excited to have a young chicky to talk to.

* Back home, and since I'm already wet and sweaty, I put my bathing suit back on and laid out in the 90 degree weather.  Must rid myself of this Seattle glow.

* I'm so done with this sun.  In to clean up and help with dinner - pork chops, mom's homemade macaroni and broccoli.  And malbec.

* After dinner, more show-n-tell with mom and dad.  They now sing Dick in a Box under their breath.  I'm very proud.

* I call Todd and catch up, then join mom in the living room for some HGTV while dad lays on the couch in the other room talking his fool head off while watching the baseball game.

* And now I blog early because I am exhausted.  The sun and heat are killin' this Seattle chick.


Pic(s) of the day:

Before - homemade valance and vertical blinds

After - sheerish 70's curtains

Monday, May 30, 2011

Country Bumpkin, Day 3

* Slept in until 8:30am.  I was completely unmotivated to get out of bed, but shopping (and mama) awaits.

* Quick breakfast and coffee, shower, off to the mall.

* Home Depot first for drapey curtain swaggy things.  They don't have what mom wants.  But they have unfinished wooden Adirondack chairs for a mere $29.  OMG.  I refrain.  Because I don't think they'll fit in the overhead compartment.

* Onward to the mall.  First stop...wig shop!  Mom has been jonesing for a wig for years.  She's always hated her hair.  I told her to go for it, why not?!  She's still not sure. 

* On to the craft store and a home store.  And they have couches!  Mom and dad have been wanting new couches.  And mom wants a new recliner.  She can't reach the floor right now to rock.  She needs a shorter one.  But these are way too expensive.  We both enjoy the break though.  Those couches are soft....

* Lunch!  I have a small walnut, cranberry and feta salad, and one of her slider burgers.  And we skip dessert.  See?  I can balance!

* Back in the car, we drive around to Target and Old Navy.  Mom tries on a lot of pretty sundresses at Old Navy, but she's not happy with any of them.  Good effort, ma.

* Now at Target, we are uber productive.  No, we didn't get the drapes we wanted, but we got a rug for the kitchen and curtains to replace the vertical blinds across the sliding glass door.  I sense that will be tomorrow's project.

* We should go home now, as mom is hurting, but she really wants a couple of button down shirts to wear over her new tank tops.  And we happen to notice that there's a Goodwill right beside Home Depot.  So back over to Goodwill.

* Unfortunately, Goodwill is only open for 10 more minutes.  Crap.

* But Walgreens is right here and mama needs fingernail polish.

* Okay, now we're going home.  I mean it.

* Right after we stop at the grocery store real quick so I can run in and get tomatoes and a cucumber.  We're making macaroni salad for dinner.

* Okay, NOW we're going home.

* Time to relax and paint my toenails.  Cause mama bought me polish, too.  Hussy red!

* And then time to make dinner.  While we watch Ellen.  Freakin' hysterical.  I treat myself to a glass of sauvignon blanc.  Ah...refreshing.

* Dad decides to get part of the yard mowed since it's cooling off (uh...wha..?).  I show mom some skits from SNL with Justin Timberlake.  She loves him.  And she laughs her tushy off.

* Mom settles in for The Bachelorette.  Kill me.  I go call Todd.  And pour myself another glass of wine.

* The Bachelorette is still on after my phone call, so what can I do?  Um.  Sweep the kitchen!  I'm a bit parched so I pour another glass of wine.

* That was quick.  It's a small kitchen/dining room combo.  Is that a drip?  Might as well scrub the floor!  Dad says the mop is in the laundry room.  Mop?  Rae-rae don't need no stinkin' mop!  Hands and knees baby!

* Mom and dad finally get to witness my manic side.

* While washing the kitchen floor, dad and I talk about the Bin Laden and the Cold War.  Yes, I know they're not related.  Mom, meanwhile, sushes us because she can't hear what the masked man is saying the bachelorette.

* The floor is gleaming.  But my back hurts and I'm a bit tipsy so I plop down on the couch to mock the last 30 minutes of The Bachelorette.  Very entertaining.  To me.  Not to mom.  Might have to have one last glass of wine.  Oy.

* After The Bachelorette, we get sucked into Extreme Makeover, Weight Loss Edition.  This week is about Rachel.  She ends up losing 161 lbs and looks freakin' amazing.  I should be motivated, but instead I have two more cookies.  I'll be motivated tomorrow.

* It's time for bed.  And blogging.  And water.


Pic of the day:

The longer hair grows on you after a while.

See what I did there?  Grow.  Ha!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Country Bumpkin, Day 2

* Up at 8am.  What the hell?  Mom's still sleeping in the recliner.

* Breakfast - bacon, eggs, toast, coffee.  Love it.

* Lounging on the porch.  A little computer work.  Mom has Windows Live now AND we got her contacts imported!

* Shower, get pretty.

* Mark, the neighbor, and his three absolutely freakin' adorable kids come over.  Ages 3, 4 and 5.  Yes, I'm serious.  I even get some hugs.  As well as some funny looks.  Maybe I had a booger.

* Over to Hippy's to transfer pictures from Mom's old hard drive to her external hard drive.  But the external hard drive is much too fast for her old computer, so we have to use Hippy's older EHD to transfer everything.  It took 3 hours.

* Meanwhile, cuddling with kitties and talking about marriage on the porch.  Oh, and it's 90 degrees.  My boobs sweat.  I miss Seattle.

* Finally home.  Grab dad and off to dinner in Elkins.  Mexican food.  We are the only people in the restaurant.  Huh.

* Quick stop at Kroger for necessities - wine, chocolate cake, wine, potatoes and cinnamon rolls.  And, oh yeah, another bottle of wine.

* Home and on the porch.  Ah.

* I convince my parents to watch Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, which I bought them for Christmas and was still in it's original wrapping.  I think Mom liked it - she laughed a couple times, but Dad wasn't sold.  He kept looking at me at the corner of his eye like "What the hell is this?" 

* Back on the porch to read until Dad comes out and we start chatting and singing old songs.  "Just let your love flow, like a mountain stream...."  Takes me back to 1977....

* Time for cake!  A small piece.  And maybe another glass of wine.  And a little vanilla ice cream.  WHAT?  I'M ON VACATION.

* Time to blog, while Mom watches NASCAR.  Kyle Busch keeps spinning out.  Ah, poo. 

* Dad goes to bed.  Goober is crashed at my feet.  Mom's dozing beside me.  It's a good day.


Pic of the day:

Could I BE any more pale?  For the love of puppies!

This is Grey, Hippy's cat.  Such a lover.  And a drooler. 

And are those dents in my legs? 
Okay, no more cake.

(Mom says "Or wine!"  Bwhahahahahaha.  Funny woman.....)

Country Bumpkin, Day 1

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that when I visit my parents, the visit is summed up in bullet points.  Most of the time there's just too much crammed into a day, and by the end of that day when I finally have a chance to sit down and blog, I'm exhausted.

So, as not to break tradition, here ya go:

* Upgrade to business class on the Seattle to Milwaukee leg of the flight.  Because I'm spoiled.

* Start the vacation off with a jack and coke, while the 29 year old mother next to me starts her vacation off with a Cabernet.  We toast.

* Then sleep. Well, kind of.  My back was tweaked which made my legs restless so I couldn’t get comfortable.  But I did doze a little.

* Change flights in Milwaukee.  Witness a complete asshole chew out the ticketing agent at the gate because the flight is over sold.  Yeah, totally that guy's fault.

* Talk with a very nice man from Pittsburgh (thus, renewing my faith a bit about Pittsburgers - swear ta gawd, that's what they're called).  He's a bass player in a very popular band in town.  They play at Steelers' games.  The hour went by quickly.

* Mom and dad pick me up, we head home.  Stop for breakfast at Bob Evans.  Cause I love me some Bob Evans.

* I fall asleep on the the second leg home, despite two cups of coffee.  I am awesome.

* Finally home to sit on the porch for three hours and chat.  Wonderful.

* Can't figure out what to do for dinner, so after 30 minutes of back and forth, decide on Subway.  Don't really feel like I'm on vacation.  Mom must make fried potatoes, pinto beans, corn bread and wilted lettuce at some point this week.
* Quick grocery store run for necessities (body wash, english muffins and Nutella - mom's curious) then home to eat and back on the porch.  The deer come for dinner.

* Snoozing on the couch with Goober, while listening to the Gaither Brothers on TV.  Mom loves them.
* Shower, then more snoozing. Dad wakes me to come look at the bunny in the yard.  Cute little bunny.  Goober stalks a bird.
* Show and tell with mom and YouTube, then my hubby calls.  So nice to hear his voice.  He's entertaining Steve, Steph and Isabella and while I am overwhelmed with jealousy, I remember that they live very close by and I can see them most anytime. 
* Mom says goodnight (dad went to bed a while ago) and goes to bed, hubby says goodnight and I finish up this post.  I am a loyal vacation blogger.
* Tomorrow there will be pictures.  Promise.


Best Airport Advertisement Ever:

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing faster.

Um.  I beg to differ…..

Friday, May 27, 2011

I'm on My Way...

...I know there’s California, Oklahoma

And all of the places I ain’t ever been to but
Down in the valley with
Whiskey rivers
These are the places you will find me hidin’
These are the places I will always go
These are the places I will always go

I am on my way
I am on my way
I am on my way back to where I started…..

Down in the Valley - by The Head and the Heart

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Todd and I did a little shopping on Saturday.  That's a rare thing these days.  Nothing extravagant, just some books from Half Price Books and Barnes & Noble, but then.  Ooh.  Finally!

I found a laptop bag.

Well, Todd found the laptop bag for me.

I've been having the hardest time finding a case.  All of the ones I liked (and could afford) on Amazon were too small.  And my super duper secret trip to West Virginia is just around the corner so I was starting to panic a bit.

But Saturday, the stars aligned and BAM.  Perfection.

Quilted, with patent leather trim
And hot pink inside!

It's totally me, right?

Friday, May 20, 2011

The CDC Is Prepared For Anything!

It's nice to see that the CDC has a sense of humor.  You'd think they're just all dry scientists and medical people.  But no. 

They're actively preparing for the zombie apocalypse.


If you're ready for a zombie apocalypse, then you're ready for any emergency. emergency.cdc.gov

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Random Thoughts

Our yard looks nice for a change.

Saturday was beautiful, so Todd mowed and weedeated, and I sat and pulled a few weeds, just to be outside. Tyler came out and took down the Christmas lights (I know...) and Kayleigh just soaked up some sunshine.  The Todd and I went to Target, I coughed my head off and as soon as we got home, I crashed.  Guess it was a little too much too soon.


Kayleigh is still sick. Her poor eyes are red and runny and goopy. She has another doctor’s appointment today. I’m much better, except for, what feels like, a huge lump in my throat. It hurts when I cough and when I eat. And that pisses me off.


Happy 17th birthday to Tyler! His birthday was yesterday so we walked down to the Elliott Bay Brewery for dinner (it was a beautiful day!), then watched Powder and had birthday pie. Tyler’s not a cake guy. He likes the pie. Marionberry.


Speaking of beautiful days, we’ve had two of ‘em in a row! And as much as I hate to admit it, the weather really can make me or break me.  After seven months of gray, rainy skies, you really are just ready to give up and die.  Ack.


And more speaking of beautiful days, I had a nice little impromptu neighbor gathering this evening.  Todd was WOWing, Kayleigh was sleeping and Tyler was downstairs, so I walked down to Carrie and Joe's to see what was shakin' and if anyone could help me with some drinkin.  Jen, Carrie's sister, was of course up for it, so she came back to the house with me and sat out by the unlit fire pit for a couple hours.  Carrie joined us a little later when she got home from the store.

It was chilly, but so quiet and sunny out.  I love surprise evenings like this.  Makes me feel like I have a gang around me to call on when I'm lonely.  It's a nice feeling.


That's about it for this week so far.  Pretty quiet.  Petri dish, and all....

Friday, May 13, 2011

Notes From The Petri Dish

Greetings all you healthy readers.

My third Mother's Day started off beautifully.  Kayleigh brought me coffee in bed, while I was on the phone to Stephanie, hearing about how great of a mother I was.  Todd, despite his coughing and hacking, fixed a gigungus breakfast, and we watched Looney Toons while we ate.

Then Todd got sleepy and needed a nap, and I got restless so I cleaned the kitchen.  Yes, it was Mother's Day, but my sweet husband was sicker than sick, and really, every day is Mother's Day in my house.  Todd is always cooking and shopping and doting on me.  So I didn't mind cleaning up the kitchen.

Todd couldn't sleep so he came out and laid on the couch with me.  We watched some SNL and some Twilight Zone, while I texted with Daniela about a dinner plan.  At 6pm I got myself together and prepared to drive to Ballard for dinner.

And it was at this point, things started to slide.

While I was getting dressed and doing my hair, my head got all swimmy.  And then I got flushed and thought I was going to throw up.  I persevered and got in the car and took off.

About 10 minutes later, I got all sweaty, then got chills and was looking for a place to pull over.  What the hell?  I got to Chinooks, walked and the smell of fish just turned my stomach.

Daniela and Sergio got there, I said hi, we caught up for a few minutes, then I left.  No way was I going to be able to sit at a table with them for two hours.  Ack.

Back home, I immediately got into my jammies and curled up in a blanket on the couch.  And got the chills.

Since I'd complained last week to CB about how I wish I'd get sick so I could stay home for a few days, there was no way I could call in on Monday.  So I stumbled into work, plugged through the day and actually felt a little better that afternoon.  But Monday night I started coughing and aching, so I called in sick on Tuesday.  And Wednesday.  And Thursday.  But I rallied today and went in, while still coughing and tired.  I made it until 2:30pm.  Not bad.

Meanwhile, Kayleigh caught something and stayed home with us Wednesday, tried to go in yesterday and Todd made her go back to bed, and then we didn't even bother to wake her today. 

Luckily, Todd rebounded Monday and was able to take the reins the rest of the week.  In between coughing fits.

Oh, and both cats are sneezing, too.

Tyler?  Well, he's just dandy.  No coughing, no sneezing.  He's taking out the garbage and recycling without being asked and giving us hugs.  He's a good boy.

Mom tells me we need to move to a different climate.  Like, West Virginia....

She's funny.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Silly Woman

It was naive of me to think that I could just do whatever I wanted today. I’m a parent now. It doesn’t work like that.

Kayleigh came into the bedroom at 9am (luckily I was already awake) and declared that she would like to go shopping.

“Where would you like to go shopping?” I ask.
“Um. Southcenter!”
“No, try again.”

We were just at Southcenter last night to see Thor* for Todd’s birthday. They have half the roads closed, the parking lot is torn up, the traffic is unbelievable, and oh yeah! We were just there Friday night.

I try a better question.

“What would you like to go shopping for?”

She replies that she has a ton of gift cards she needs to spend. Build A Bear, Payless Shoes, Game Stop, Target. The list goes on and on. But Build A Bear is the goal. Need to go to Build A Bear.

Don’t know what that is? I’m getting to it.

So, where is there a Build A Bear? Northgate Mall! she says. Great. I could do Northgate. It’s been a while.

I get up and check in with Todd and Tyler. Tyler is joining his uncle for game and he’s told us he needs to be “in a different” city so Gavin can pick him up. Um. Which city? Can’t remember. We find out it’s Everett. Oy. I’m not driving to Everett. Start looking at the bus schedule.

But if Kayleigh and I are going to Northgate, I can drop Tyler off at a bus stop up there to make the trip a little easier for him.

Because I am good mom.

What time do you need to be in Everett, Tyler? He says 3:30pm. It is now 10:30am. I want to be nice, but I don’t want to wait until 3pm to go shopping. And I’m already up so might as well start the day sooner rather than later.

Okay, how early can Gavin pick you up? Tyler texts, Gavin replies. If Tyler can get to the Comic Stop in Lynnwood, Gavin can pick him up “earlier”.

Sigh. I don’t want to drive to Lynnwood. Northgate is far enough. But it’s silly to drive him to Northgate, make him get on a bus only to ride 15 minutes to Lynnwood.

Okay, is there a Build A Bear at Alderwood Mall in Lynnwood? Well, let’s check the internets.

Uh. Yes there is! And, look Kayleigh, there is no Build A Bear in Northgate Mall. So it’s a damn good thing we checked on that, huh?

So it looks like we’re all going to Alderwood Mall. Fantastic. While Todd lays on the couch, watching the Twilight Zone, and coughing up stuff. I think I’m getting the better deal.

The kids and I load into the car and hit the road. But first, we have to stop for breakfast at Starbucks. That’s another gift card Kayleigh has, so she buys for everyone. That’s a fine way to start off Mother’s Day weekend, don’t you think?

Back in the car, and really hitting the road this time.

As I approach the Lynnwood exit, it occurs to me that I’ve never actually driven to the Comic Stop before. But I think I know where it is.

Nope. It’s not there. Then it must be over there.

Yep. Thank goodness.

We visit at the Comic Stop for a while (because we know the owners) and Tyler texts Gavin to say he’s there and when can he expect Gavin.

Gavin replies with 3:00pm.
It is currently 1:00pm.

I suggest that Tyler hang out at the Comic Stop. It’s free comic day, he’s got $20, and there’s a game going on in the back. He states that would make him feel cheap to just hang out for two hours. I get it.

So, he joins us at the mall, and will walk back to the Comic Stop, right across the street, close to 3:00pm.

To recap thus far: It’s a beautiful Saturday and I am taking my two teenage kids to Alderwood Mall to shop. If you refer to Friday’s post, you’ll notice this was not one of the plans listed.

First things first: Build A Bear.

Oh my gawd. Sheer genius!

I was skeptical when told about this. You buy a bear, then get it stuffed. Woohoo. Big freakin’ deal. Especially since you don’t really MAKE the bear – you buy the shell of the already made bear (or cat or duck or frog or rabbit).  And the beauty isn’t stuffing the bear or putting the heart in the bear or washing the bear.

The beauty is all of the shit you can buy for the bear!

Sunglasses, fashion glasses, sparkly shoes, golf clubs, high top Converse, skinny jeans, wide leg jeans, picnic baskets, Seahawks uniforms (complete with helmet), beds, surfboards, underwear, robes, hats, sashes, wedding dresses, tuxes, roller skates, etc etc etc.

I am apparently the prime demographic as I wanted everything in this store.  Only I want the stuff for Elvis and Tom.  They would love the Cruisin' Red Convertible and the sleeping bag and the camo tent!

I think it was as I was squealing over the bear carrier that Kayleigh and Tyler said I was an official a crazy cat lady.

But it has a little cut out in the back for the tail!!


Anywho, Build A Bear was more fun than I thought it'd be.  Kayleigh picked a black bear, dressed it in jeans, a Save the Earth t-shirt and high tops and named him Tattapu, after Lofa Tatupu, our linebacker (whom I affectionately call Tattapu during the games).  Tyler had had enough at this point, and headed back over to the Comic Stop.

After BAB, Kayleigh and I hit numerous other stores and bought shoes, games, and tank tops.  I splurged and bought a pair of leggings for $8.  And when I got home, I discovered they had a hole in them, so I have to take them back.  Great.

We finally got home at 5pm, and found Todd still on the couch, still watching Twilight Zone, still coughing up junk.  In between coughing fits, he told me that Dave, from across the street called and invited us over to share some wine.  Todd wasn't up for it at all, but he insisted I go on over and relax for a bit while he ran to the grocery store for dinner fixins.  

Ain't he a doll?

I joined Dave, Greg, Carol and Paul for some lovely sparkling and red wine.  And during our tasting, I invited them over to watch The King's Speech later in the evening.  So a very busy Saturday wound down with a wonderful movie, wonderful neighbors and more wonderful wine.  I love days like this.


*Now, about Thor.

Ron, Steve and Andrew joined the four of us at the theater and this was Todd's birthday celebration.  Well, that and the carrot cake that I'd picked up earlier.

I don't care if you know about the character or not, the movie is worth seeing.  It's fantastic.  It's funny.  It's dramatic.  Oh, it's really loud, too, so if you go to the theater, take ear plugs for the explosions.  Ow.

I won't gush about Chris Hemsworth.  Everyone gushes about him.  I will say that he was very passionate about his role, and almost brought tears to my eyes when he realized he'd lost his power.  So very intense.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Cranky McCrankerson

It’s a rough day here in Raechelle-land. The weather absolutely sucks, Todd is sick again, Kayleigh is getting sick and my house is a cluttered disaster. There is no amount of Prozac or wine that can fix this right now.

Well.  Okay.  Maybe there's enough wine....

Todd was getting better, but then Sunday, the coughing and hacking flared back up and now he’s just beaten back down. And Kayleigh says her chest feels tight and like she can’t get a breath, so they both have doctor’s appointments this afternoon.

Oh, and Tyler is back to eating normal foods again.

And me? Oh, I’m fine. Having a small issue that’s not appropriate to blog about, and it’s just adding to my crankiness, but other than that, I’ll live.

And! This weather is freakin’ horrible. Rarely do I ever flat out bitch about the weather up here, but people, it’s the beginning of May and we can’t even hit 60 degrees. We’ve had 2 sunny, dry days in the last 20. I am sick of being cold and wet.

However, I’m torn between the two upsides of this weather. If it continues to rain all weekend, and Kayleigh and Todd are down with the crud all weekend, Rae-rae gets to either go nuts and declutter her house, or lay on the couch and do absolutely nothing. Both are very appealing to me right now.

Oh! I just remembered that I haven’t shared this with you! Daniela and Sergio will be in town this weekend! We haven’t made a plan, but Daniela did touch base and say she wanted to get together. Yay!

So maybe I’ll declutter tomorrow, and then have D&S over Sunday evening. Or maybe just sleep until noon tomorrow, then declutter on Sunday before we have D&S over. Or maybe just screw the decluttering and I’ll cuddle with Tom all weekend.

Who knows what my mood will be tomorrow. That’s the beauty of being manic – each day is a surprise!



The evil uterus has awakened from her four week slumber, and she is pissed.


So I predict that Plan C will be in full effect this weekend.

Somebody get my jammies ready.


Another Update:

Kayleigh and Todd are back from their doctors’ appointments. Todd’s left over sinus ick has become infected in his chest, so now he’s on antibiotics and an expectorant. Kayleigh’s chest lining is inflamed and just needs to rest and take some ibuprofen for the inflammation. Good to know they’re both on the mend.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I’ve Got a Theory

It could be bunnies…..


In talking with my co-worker, Kermit (formerly known as Matabulor), I’ve come up with a theory.

Kermit tends to come over with all kinds of sweets and candy and cookies and chocolate. He’s one of those “keep your co-workers happy” kind of guys. I’ve been doing really well refusing his dark chocolate and gummy bears, but then yesterday, after a couple of weeks of nothing, he brought me a Dove dark chocolate bar.

“I know you’re on a diet, but dark chocolate is good for you.”

True dat, Kermie.

So, I have a little dark chocolate bar in my drawer now to keep me happy in the afternoons.

But then this morning, Kermit magically appeared in my cube with a plate full of chocolate brownies.

“I know I’m evil, but you want one?”

I debated for a good five seconds before I reached out and grabbed on. And it was like the Universe was fighting me – I could not get the brownie off of the plate. It was that gooey and moist. It was just stuck to the plate. Yum.

I took it down in two bites, then wiped the gooey chocolate off of my fingers with a tissue. As I did this, and while finishing my brownie, I declared to Kermit and Mr. Cranky Non-Decorating Co-Worker that screw the diet, I’ve just accepted the fact that I am big boned.

That got a good laugh.

I said, at least I’m happy right? I could be a 100 pounds and a stark, raving bitch. You wouldn’t want that would you?

Kermit laughed, then sobered up and said, “You know. Sometimes, there is a correlation there. Why do you think that is?”

I said, “Because women who are not naturally that thin are starving themselves to be skinny and they have no social life because they’re spending all of their free time working out.”

But look at me! Yes, I’ve got an extra 20lbs on me, but I’m happy! I eat and I drink and I be merry! If I denied myself wine and chocolate and pasta, I would not be pleasant to be around. I would be cranky, and sober, and exhausted.

And come on. Who really wants that?

Wouldn’t you rather have a happy Rae-rae?

Then how about sending Rae-rae some money so she can buy slightly bigger capris?

Monday, May 2, 2011

We’re Gonna Party Like It’s 1963

The Downing Joint Birthday Party was Saturday night, and boy howdy, was it a swingin’ good time. Thank goodness we asked to borrow our friends’ house and bar because there’s no way that many people would have fit into our place.

We started the day off right with a surprise visit from CB. She and her hubby and baby stopped by, and I knew as soon as I saw them come up the walkway they would not be attending the party that night. CB had a balloon and a gift bag, and another bag of goodies. Sure enough, the baby had been sick the night before, so they were leery about leaving him with the sitter. So they made up for it by bring us twice baked almond croissants and makings for mimosas. If you’re going to miss my party, at least get me liquored up before you tell me.

After their visit, Todd and Kayleigh were off to pick up some last minute items, and I (finally) cleaned the bathroom and kitchen. No, the party wasn’t at our house, but I wanted to be able to lay around in my jammies all day on Sunday and not feel like I needed to be domestic.

Come 3pm, it was time to get bouffanted.

Tangent – Last year, CB recommended the lovely salon around the corner from house when my gal Carly left for New York. I started to visit Jamie, and she does wonderful things to my hair. I’m very, very glad I found her. And that she’s walking distance from my house.

Anywho, when I went to get my haircut last week, I told Jamie about the 60s party and how I wanted to get my hair all bouffanted up, so I asked what she’d charge. We chatted about that and then I, very professionally, asked if she’d be willing to do it for trade.

You’re thinking I offered to clean her salon, aren’t you? Well, I didn’t. But it crossed my mind.

I’d found the salon’s blog earlier in the day, and (to be polite) I immediately realized that Jamie’s talent and effort were not really going toward the blog. So I offered to revamp her blog site, in exchange for a bouffant. She loved the idea and said, “Hell, I’d give you free haircuts for that!” Since her blog is with Blogger, like mine, I should have no problem getting in there and beautifying it. And I do love beautifying the blogs. So many colors and fonts and templates. And Blogger makes it so easy for someone like me who has absolutely no clue how to code.

So, I have a contract design gig. Hee.

Where was I?

Ah, yes. Getting bouffanted.

Jamie spent an hour teasing and spraying and teasing and spraying, and finally, I was coiffed.

Back home to get our outfits and accessories together, then Todd, Kayleigh and I headed north to Michael’s. Tyler (who turns 17 next month, by the way) opted to be a typical teenage boy and stay home to play videogames and watch the cats. He’s becoming quite the independent fella.

We arrived with a mere two hours to set up, prepare the food, dress, get made up and start drinking. Don’t wanna be just picking our noses when the guests start arriving, now do we?

The first guests (Walter and Anne win the prize!) arrived around 7:15, and it was all a blur after that. As most of our parties are. Thankfully, Michael’s girlfriend Chris acted as the official hostess (or maid, whichever you prefer), so she was quick to take coats and food when people arrived. That’s the stuff that normally stresses me out. And I had on my three inch heels, so I would have broken my neck running up and down the stairs in that split level house.

And Michael tended bar all night.

His assistant showed up a little later, unbeknownst to me. When I saw him, I didn’t recognize him so I asked “Hi! Who are you with?” He said no one. He’s crashing my party. Then he hugged me and told me happy birthday.

I was okay with that.

Because this was a split level house, and the bar was downstairs and the food was upstairs, I felt like I had even less time than normal to chat with people. I’d be upstairs touching base, and when I’d get back downstairs, I’d notice some guests had left. At least in our little ol’ house you can see when people leave and at least say goodbye to them.

By about 11pm, the majority of the guests had left (after being badgered by me – “You’re leaving?! What do you have to go home to?! Your wife is working tonight!”) and the few remaining settled in the bar for some salsa dancing and Mad Libs. HK, my salsa partner was there, so we got a lot of practice. I even showed Kayleigh some salsa and swing moves. Yeah. Her stepmom is cool.

Finally, the last of the guests retreated around 1am, and by 2am our car was packed up with leftover food, wine, and other party accoutrements. We all finally got to bed around 3am.

And Sunday was a complete waste.

Which is a shame because it was absolutely beautiful outside. But Todd and I could do nothing but snooze off and on all day. We decided that it’s not the drinking that hurts us these days. Well, it does if you over do it, which we did not, and I was especially good because of those three inch heels – there was no way I could walk around AND carry my drink (I think I have a new plan).

It’s the going to bed at 3am. I always thought that the older you get, the less sleep you need, but I slept until 11am Sunday (not a big surprise, I know) and then took a couple of two hour naps in the afternoon. I think your body just gets into the habit of going to bed at a certain time (10pm – shoot me) and getting up at a certain time, and by gawd, if you mess with that, your body says “Screw you” and refuses to cooperate for a day.

But now it's Monday and we're back on track.

So what to plan next?

The Original Mad Men

Feel the love....

Not real sure...but look at that passion!

Walter & Anne.  Too hip for words.

The Mister & Travis
Dancin' Queens!

Love it (the cigarette is fake)