Math = Hell

I don't get on a soapbox about a lot of things. I barely have enough energy to get through each day, let alone tackle an issue and get all ruffled over it.

The Ex used to get frustrated with me because my excuse for not educating myself in politics was that it was too overwhelming. I would rather just focus on keeping my little bubble of a life happy. Why depress myself with issues and topics I didn't feel I could do anything thing about? I just kept my head down, tried to stay under the radar and waited to die.

Not the healthiest way to live life, I know. I'm not so bleak about it anymore. Now, I vote. I read up on things. I have an opinion when the topic comes up at dinner. Rarely do I get all ruffled.

Oh, but I got ruffled this morning. Good-n-ruffled. (Ooh. My German name.)

I listen to 103.7 The Mountain every morning when I'm getting ready for work, and then on my drive. I love those guys. Marty Riemer and Jodi Brothers are like the best friends I don't have. And this morning, they mentioned that Washington state may soon require high school students to pass algebra II in order to graduate. And I immediately got a pit in my stomach. Then Jodi said exactly what I was thinking:

"I would have never graduated high school if algebra II were required back then."

Amen, Jodi. Amen.

Then Marty smarted off with EVERYONE should take algebra II and it was soooo important and girls can do math just as well as boys and then I turned off the radio. I love him death, but sometimes he gets a little opinionated.

I've written about my trouble with math a few times. It took me three semesters to pass algebra I in high school. It was brutal. Once I actually got out of algebra I, I went straight into informal geometry. Not regular geometry. But "informal".

This is a square.
This is a rectangle.
Explain the difference.

Uh......One side is longer?

Congrats, Raechelle! You've passed informal geometry!

At graduation, I stood in line with 135 other seniors, just minutes from walking across the football field to get that friggin' diploma, and watched as the principle literally pulled people out of line. They finished up our final grades THE EVENING OF GRADUATION. And if you failed, you got yanked out of line.

Scariest moment of my life.

I ended up passing with a D.

Oh, but the fun that was known as math was not over! I had to take the ACT exam - the "informal" version of the SATs.

Failed the math portion three times. THREE TIMES. Oh, I excelled in the reading and writing. I can write and babble about anything. Hence, these long, rambling posts.

But throw numbers at me with a letter here and there and I dry heave for an hour.

They finally let me enter college (bless their hearts) as long as I took pre-algebra. They were hellbent on cramming that stuff down my throat. I took this class, for six weeks during the summer, four days a week, for five hours. Algebra. Four days a week. For five hours. And by golly, I passed. No grade. Just passed. Good enough.

Okay, fall semester. My classes were algebra, psychology and ballet (needed to have so many credits to be considered "full time"). I excelled at ballet. I was first at the bar after three weeks. Psychology wasn't too bad; the teacher was enthusiastic and held my attention. I think I passed most of my tests.

Algebra? Failed.

Second semester. Algebra. Dropped out (the teacher showed up for class three out of five days).

Third semester. Algebra. Failed.

At which point I said, "Screw this."

Then came business school. No algebra. I learned how to balance a ledger, use a 10-key and type 80 words a minute. Much more my speed.

The point is, I would have never graduated if algebra II was required when I was in high school. My school (which will remain nameless since I'm about to badmouth it) had no desire to see us succeed. Our math classes were taught by the gym coaches (yes, I know some gym coaches have the smarts to teach math. Mine did not.) I remember asking Mrs. Hill if she could help me with a problem and she responded with, "Well, if you don't understand by now, you're just not getting it." My parents were never good at math, so they couldn't help me. And we couldn't afford to pay a tutor.

Now, as my disclaimer, I'm not putting 100% of the blame on my teachers. I was not a very motivated student. I did what I had to do to get out of there, and even considered dropping out my junior year and just taking the GED.

And I do remember my folks finding a tutor for me in sixth grade. Ms. Cardwell. She was very patient with me and I think I was probably making good progress. Then my brother picked me up at school one day and they started making googly eyes at each other and then they started dating and she went with us to a pool party (I remember she wore a lot of pink) and then they broke up and well, suddenly I didn't have to stay after school for tutoring anymore.

So I blame my brother, in addition to my teachers, for my math deficiency.

Anyway.

From what I hear, Washington thinks students should be required to pass algebra II so they can keep up with the education standards in other countries. In plain english - our kids ain't as smart as other kids. And I think that's all well and good.

Just don't suddenly force high school students to magically pass algebra II. Won't happen. They need to be prepared for it, starting in elementary school. They can't just do it on their own. Teachers have to be able to teach it to students like me who just don't get it. Parents have to have the time and money to get tutors for their kids who just don't get it.

Sigh.

I'm so glad I'm done with the whole high school thing. Although, if I could go back for a day, knowing what I know now......oh boy. I would be the coolest chick in school.

I'd probably still fail algebra though.

How Vain Do You Have To Be?

You know how I love my manis and pedis. LOVE 'EM. Sad because it's been months since I've had 'em.

But come on, people.

Fish. Really? Eating the dead skin off your feet?

Really?

Sigh.

What goes through a person's mind when they're asked if they would like the regular pedicure or the fish pedicure? What is the logic that makes them say, "Oh, why, the FISH PEDICURE, of course! It's only the best for MY tootsies!"

One word for ya: Ew.

Fish and feet do not mix. I don't think there is any way to convince me. Go ahead. Leave a comment. Try to convince me. Dare ya.

Speaking of pedicures, looks like I'm being whisked off to California in a few weeks! And you know how I love a good pamperin' to start my vacation off right. Gotta have pretty fingers and toes!

I may have to skip eating out for a couple of weeks. Habitude has upped their prices again.

Poo.

Redemption!

My fabulous boyfriend, who apparently has more hope for me than I have for myself, retook the 30's Wife Quiz for me. And got me a better score.

80 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test!

Kristin, maybe you should have someone else take the quiz for you. It seems that maybe we do not see ourselves very accurately.

Uh Oh

I think the fact that I wear red nail polish and cook in my pajamas is what doomed me.

5 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

The Early Chick Gets The Parking Space

I had my first school night overnight at Todd's. And because my routine was different this morning, I factored in a little extra time. My reward? I beat the big suburban to work and RECLAIMED MY PARKING SPOT!! HA!

And I am now rewarding myself with biscuits and gravy for breakfast. And bacon. Gotta have the bacon.

I could recap the weekend for you, but why? Todd does it so well? Thanks, sweetie.
(I'm really not using him.)

It was a funfilled weekend. Pretty houses, babies, ex boyfriends, meeting new friends, movies, cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning.....all good things.

Also, who puts onions in gravy? Ick. I've hit my biscuits and gravy wall.

I'll post again when I have all of my coffee in me and can form better sentences......

Okay, I'm Better

And how can I just magically be all better? you ask.

Because I have seen Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Finally.*

Well, acts one and two. Act three is tomorrow. Whee!

Don't know what this is? Here.

If you are a Buffy fan (and if you're a fan, you know who Buffy is so I don't have to type "the Vampire Slayer"), this is a must see. If you're a Joss Whedon fan, it's a must see. If you are a Neil Patrick Harris or Nathan Fillion fan, oh, you must!



*Sorry Todd. Just couldn't wait for ya.

Just Mad

It's amazing what disrupted sleep does for my mood. I woke up a few times last night, even got up to pee, which is very unusual, so I never got that few hours of deep sleep.

And today, I'm just mad. Scowling, furrowed, don't-even-come-in-here-and-chat-with-me mad. I don't care how much money you're willing to put in the bucket.

And, oh, don't EVEN THINK of popping in here to ask me where my boss it. I will throw my stapler at you, I mean it.

I even pitched a tiny tantrum in front of the big boss lady. The first one in the three years I've been here. She asked me to change a catering order for next because "someone" (don't know who) thinks pastries are just too unhealthy, so we need fruit and yogurt.

Oh, for cryin' out loud.

This, after I spent 30 minutes on a conference call with two other assistants trying to get a reoccurring meeting that involves doctors (shoot me) scheduled through the end of the year. I was already irritated and then to be told to do something like change the food because it's just too unhealthy....well. My pen accidentally flew out of my hand and my pad of paper accidentally slid across my desk.

The big boss lady said, "Now you know what I deal with."

Sigh.

Maybe I should take a nap at lunch.
Or just drink lunch......

The Therapist Is In

I have a chair in my office. This is probably why some people come in here and plop down during the day. Jamie says I should put something in the chair. Even just a piece a paper will deter a potential visitor from sitting down and making themselves at home.

Normally, I don't mind visitors. A quick pop in, a "Hi, howya doin'?" is great. Maybe even a sit down, "Here's why I'm upset..." is okay. It's not written in my job description, but I know that people think I'm here for their venting pleasure. And most of the time I don't mind. It goes with the territory.

The problem is, there are some folks who don't have a lot going on and don't understand that I actually DO have a lot going on (despite my posting during the day. These short ones take all of 5 minutes). So I listen to them for a bit, but eventually, I have to just flat out say, "Okay, I gotta get back to work. Thanks for visiting. Buh-bye."

During one of these visits, I mentioned to my friend, who was sitting in my chair, that I needed to figure out how to make some extra money. Gas is going up, my parking is going up, groceries are going up.

But my pay is not going up.

He suggested that I rent out a portion of my spacious, green office. I said, "Hell, I could pay my rent just by charging people to sit in that chair."

And a lightbulb went off.

Todd asked what exactly a "session" was.
I replied, "I wear many hats at my job. Some of which I'm not at liberty to discuss."

More Craigslist Love

When I really need a chuckle, I go to The Best Of on craigslist.

And holy crap, I laughed until I cried at this. I think they're being serious, too. That makes it even funnier.

General Body Update

Ears: Still popping when I blow my nose.

Nose: Still a little clogged.

Teeth: Still throbbing. Ice cream for dinner was good, but only if I kept it on the right side of my mouth. I'll make a dentist appointment soon.

Gray hair: Not just confined to my head now.

[pause]

WTF?! Nobody ever, EVER told me, a woman, that gray hair could appear in any place other than my head. Why do we not talk about these things? It would really help to alleviate the panic that you feel when you see that first one. The mind boggles for a minute. "What the hell.....? Nah, couldn't be......"

Lungs: I'm using my inhaler a couple times a day now. I still have that revving, asthmatic cough. Could be leftover cold, could be allergies. Who knows.

Wrists: still neurotic about them. My massage therapist did a full body thing yesterday (rather than just spending an hour on my back, like normal) and she started to do my forearms, starting at my wrists. And I almost hit her.

DO NOT touch the inside of my wrists. Under ANY circumstances. Or the inside of my elbows. I will go kung fu on your ass, I swear to gawd. And touch the backs of my knees at your own risk. Sometimes I'm okay with it, sometimes I'll kick you. It's a gamble.

Poor Todd. I think he has a chart on the back of his door. Neck: a-okay. Stomach: just don't jiggle it. Wrists: Raechelle hurts me. Feet: Only when Raechelle's had a lot of wine. Hands: a-okay.

Eyes/Head: Funny thing. I quit wearing my glasses. Completely. And I haven't had a headache in months. I put my glasses on for 30 minutes, just to test my theory. Head starts hurting. Does that mean my prescription is off? Or that I really don't need glasses and I should sue my optometrist? Either way, my head doesn't hurt anymore.

Overall, I would say B+.
Not too shabby for a 33 year old.

Dinner

What?

Easy As Pie

Todd stopped by with Kayleigh and Tyler this evening.

And thank goodness I have a TV because I don't know how they would have entertained themselves in my little ol' bachelorette apartment.

Reason #129 Why I Love My Man

Todd brought me lunch today.

And what did he bring, you ask?

Sushi.

The man is allergic to shellfish and he brings sushi for lunch. That's love, baby.

We walked down to the lake, spread a blanket and had California rolls (dude, funny, since he's from Santa Cruz) and cucumber rolls. Then we just looked at the water and baked in the sunshine for an hour.

What a nice Wednesday.
Sigh.

Random Thoughts

My ears are still popping from the flight home last Thursday. What happens to make it so bad sometimes? Some landings are great! No poppage at all. Are there just some good pilots and some bad pilots?

Are any of my readers pilots? Could you please explain this phenomenon to me?

**********

I'm thinking I may need a root canal. I've got a problem cavity that was filled the year I moved here and, although my dentist has taken out the bad filling and put in good filling, it's now throbbing pretty much regularly.

I've read what happens during a root canal. And I am none too happy about it. I may willingly give up my arm for the IV that will knock me out. And that's saying a lot.

**********

I have a paper cut between my first and middle finger. Helluva place for a papercut. I may start applying for worker's comp for crap like this.

**********

Warning: the sauce that comes on the veggie quesadilla at Tacos Guaymas is freakin' hot. If you don't do spicy (like me) maybe ask for them to leave it off. Much less painful. I will remember next time.

Also, when you go to their website, there's music. And there's no way to turn it off. And it's really annoying. Just FYI.

**********

I would like to ask for some good juju, please.
There are changes coming on at work (things I dare not blog about) and some good juju would help me considerably. I'm not in jeopardy of losing my job, but there are "changes". Just work with me, okay?

**********

The Ex and I spoke last weekend. It seems we will both be at Milo's first birthday party this Saturday, so we thought it would be a good idea to break the ice in advance, rather than in front of Milo. He's too young for that kind of drama.

He sounds good (the Ex, not Milo. Milo can't talk yet.) And happy. It was a nice chat. I'm looking forward to seeing him. We will have our significant others in tow as well, so maybe some positive juju on Saturday around 3pm would be a good idea, too. You know, if you're not doing anything.

Because You Know How I Love To Talk About Myself

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

My first name, Brenda, is after my aunt, who passed away very young.
My middle name, Raechelle, was after a woman my dad dated, but my mom changed up the spelling because although she didn't like the woman, she liked the name.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

July 4, at 7:45pm. Sitting on Granny's porch. I do that when I go to Nestorville.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

Not really.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Um. Turkey. Maybe. If you twist my arm.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

No living creature has come out of my body.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Yes.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

Ha. Do you even know me? No, no. I never use saracasm.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

Maybe.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Kashi Cinna-Raisin Crunch (or Froot Loops)

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

Most of the time.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

Physically? No.

Emotionally? No. But people keep telling me differently.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Oh, there's so many really. Mint chocolate chip, Ben & Jerry's Half Baked, strawberry....

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Their fingernails. Weird. I know.

15. RED OR PINK?

Both. Depends on if I'm feeling saucy or sweet.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

My tummy. It's baby fat. I'm sure of it.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

My brother. We don't really talk much anymore.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?

Not really. Just post it on your blog.

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

Black. Big surprise.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

A homemade chocolate chip cookie from a really sweet doctor.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

It's on pause, but my "Irish Boys" playlist.

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

Uh..periwinkle. Just because I like the word "periwinkle".

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

Ah....fresh cut grass, Coty Musk perfume, cooking onions or garlic, Pledge, roses.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

Marc, from Purchasing. He always answers calls from me by singing "Did you ever know that you're my hero....?"

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?

Yes.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

Well, duh. Football! (four weeks to go!)

27. HAIR COLOR?

Brown (with lots of silver "highlights")

28. EYE COLOR?

Green (which, with the brown hair, apparently makes me Welsh......and hot.)

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

Oh, gawd no! I'd rather go blind than stick something in my eye every morning! Ewww!

30. FAVORITE FOOD?

Again, so many....sushi, chocolate covered cherries, chocolate covered peanuts, chocolate covered sushi....

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Batman Begins.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Black. What's new?

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Winter. Definitely.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?

Both! Who could choose?

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?

Favorite? Ha. Just hand it over, bucko.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?

I didn't send this to anyone, so whoever reads it and posts it on their blog.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?

Those who don't do these.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

STILL trying to finish Obama's book. Love him to death, but it's just not engaging me.

Now, I bought "How To Talk To A Widower" in the airport in Pitt, and finished it before I landed in Seattle. A very fast and entertaining read. Not as sad as the title would lead you to believe.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

I have no mousepad. I'm one of those mousing snobs who uses a trackball. No mousepad required. But if I did have a mousepad, it would proably have a picture of a cute kitty on it.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?

Ten minutes of the Simpsons. Then I left the house.

42. FAVORITE SOUND?

The creek at Granny's. And a really heavy rain.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?

Eh. Rolling Stones.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

New York. Pathetic, I know.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

Oh, you betcha. I can make my tongue split. It impresses all the boys.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Morgantown, WV. At the WVU Hospital.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?

Nobody's. I look forward to comments, though.

Weekend Update

So, where did we leave off?

Right. Got back to Seattle Thursday night and was picked up by Todd and two very excited children. I think they missed me.

And found this photo on my camera, which I had left behind.

Ruby got a bath. I don't know if the kids helped, but they sure look proud of someone's work, don't they?

Swigged some good cough syrup, updated Todd on the trip, and went to sleep. And slept really hard. Finally.

Then came Friday. My very last vacation day.

Sniff.

Todd, Kayleigh and I got some Starbucks, shopped around a little, then K and I came to my apartment to switch out vacation clothes for Seattle clothes. Then Todd and I spent some quality adult time (sans children) that night.

And I got a call from Daniela! She and Sergio were in town for a few days, so we made a plan to meet up Saturday evening.

Saturday was completely unproductive. It was beautiful out, but Todd and I couldn't seem to get motivated to do much of anything. And it was wonderful.

That evening, we had dinner with D & S.

Jonah & Daniela

Oliver (aka Diego) & Sergio

Kayleigh was enjoying baby time as well.

That evening, we were all tired, so we lounged and watched "Batman Begins" since I haven't seen it and we're going to see "The Dark Knight" when it comes out. My opinion? I don't think I'm a big Christian Bale fan. Something about him. And I think I'm so used to Tim Burton's Batman movies (over the top and comic book like), that this one just seemed boring. I'm still looking forward to "The Dark Knight" though.

Anywho.

Sunday, I had every intention of leaving Todd's early so I could spend some time in my own space. I haven't been home in over a week and I miss my space. I miss my smells. And you know how sensitive I am about smells.

Slight tangent:

The word "hyperosmia" is one of the top google searches that leads to my blog. There are a lot of people out there who want to know what this word means. And when you google the word, my blog comes up on the second page of results.

And one of the other top searches that leads to my blog are the phrases "alone vs lonely" or "how to deal with being alone". There are quite a few people who are wondering how to deal with loneliness. And to these people, I give you a hug. It sucks being lonely. But it gets better. Reach out to your friends who keep calling and emailing. They wouldn't offer to comfort you if they didn't want to. I tried the whole don't-inconvenience-anyone-when-I'm-sad-because-that-makes-me-dependent and that was just plain stupid. It just made life worse. My friends offered to come over and comfort me and I kept saying "No, no, I'll be fine. Really."

But you know what? As soon as I just started giving in and letting them comfort me, it got better. And it doesn't make you dependent. It doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong. Because you have the courage to ask for help. Sounds weird, but it's true. Trust me.

Where was I?

Oh yes. I had every intention of going home early yesterday, but after brunch with Todd's brother and his wife, a nap was much needed (freakin' crows squawking at 6am). Then I got all clingy and cuddly and well, I finally left at 6:30pm.

Clingy and cuddly is a good thing. I have quite the wall up. Todd and I are both well aware of this. I've been kicked in the gut a few times this past year (and I haven't blogged about it so you'll just have to take my word for it) by men who said all the right things and promised all the right things, just when I was broken enough to believe it. My friends told me it was wrong. They tried to warn me. But I didn't listen because I wanted so very badly to believe that it was right.

So, I have a wall up. And I'm hesitant to trust my instincts, because they've let me down in a major way recently. But little by little, the bricks are falling out of the wall. Little by little I'm starting to trust in a good thing. All signs point to happy. For me to step out from behind the wall to be clingy and cuddly is a big step. And it made for a fantastic weekend.

I Am Home!

Let us recap!
And please forgive any typos. It's late, I've been at this for a few hours and I'm pooped.

Friday, July 4

I arrived in Pittsburgh and began my three-ish hour drive to Nestorville, WV. In a PT Cruiser. Yeah, baby.

Apparently, I just missed dad being....well....dad.

Dad, workin' the tractor.

(Oh, calm down, mom. I specifically picked this photo (there were eight of them) because his shirt isn't open. It's all very PG.)

My brother and sister and their families were already there.

Tent City, WV

After all of the hugs and hellos, Ma and Pa were presented with a cake.

They have purchased land (officially dubbed Pisswilly Ranch) and are in the process of getting a mobile home on that land. We don't know when they're going to actually get to move up there, but they're ready.

That evening, my brother set off fireworks. Oohs and aahs were heard for minutes.

Sorry. No photos.

Saturday, July 5

Mom and I got up early and went to breakfast.
Why, what's that on the menu?

That's right! Coco Wheats! And now that I think about it, I meant to pick some more up while I was there. I forgot. Crap.

Later that day was bonding with the family.

My siblings, Wendy & Shane, with pa.

Then there was dinner, and more bonding with the family.

I thought I was being sexy. No one else did. Might have been the wine.

Then my sister's husband got a wild hair and decided he was every bit as cool as the young whipper snappers, so he partook in rolling down the hill.

At least he didn't throw up, right?

And Saturday ends with a very heavy four year old sitting on me.

Sunday, July 6

Tent City was dismantled and the siblings, and their families, left for home. Right as my aunt and uncle arrived. Ma and pa took them up to Pisswilly Ranch and while they were there, my aunt collected a bag of apples to make homemade apple sauce. So, me, my mom and my aunt sat and peeled apples (which, by the way, hurts the hell out of your hands) while singing gospel songs. A very West Virginia moment.

That evening, the sickness set in. Could have been the heat. Could have been dehydration. Could have been the beef I put in the lasagna I made for dinner. Could have been the tubs of Clorox in the bedroom where I was sleeping that my uncle swears prevents mold in the room. In any event, I was miserable.

Monday, July 7

Still sick. I woke up at 6:30am then went and crawled into mom and dad's (empty) room, since they had an actual bed and I was on a quarter inch of foam on the floor in my grandma's old room with a 10 year old. And Clorox. Dad gave me a pill to settle my stomach and my mom got me a bucket. I slept until noon, and felt a little better when I woke up.

My dad and uncle had gone up to the ranch to scope out where the mobile home was going to go and what trees would have to come down and other country, outdoorsy, retirement stuff, so mom, Trent and I took them lunch. I did not eat.

Side note: this house is on the road leading up to the ranch. Would you take a look at that porch? Sigh. I want this house.

(Take note, Nancy)

Anyway, here's the property.

The First Supper (okay, "lunch") at Pisswilly Ranch

More sleep that afternoon. Which was okay, because it thunder stormed for a little while. Actually, it did that every day. Little thunder, big downpour, then sunshine. Not too bad.

Tuesday, July 8

Shopping with my cousin, Hippy. Yes, Hippy. Her real name is Diane, but everyone in the family has a nickname. Harry, Lardy, Whitty, Hippy, Gillis, Binky. It's a hillbilly thing.

I bought WV hats and shirts for Todd and the kids. Gotta represent.

Stopped by the property for a bit to check out dad's new riding lawn mower that he and the uncle purchased that morning.

Here's my response to dad's tractor photos. Whadya think? Who works a tractor better?

That afternoon, I finally made it down to the creek. Hippy took some pics, but I haven't gotten them yet. I'll have to bug her about that.

Sickness update: the stomach was better, but the allergies had set in. Nose was clogged up, I started sneezing my head off, and as soon as I would lay down to sleep, I started coughing. So I slept on the couch.

Wednesday, July 9

Mom and I spent the entire day driving around looking at mobile homes. The entire day. I've learned alot. Not sure when I'll ever use this information, but it's tucked away for further reference.

And then, I got a little alone time, so I laid down by the creek and read a bit.

Sickness update: cough cough, hack hack, ACHOO, ACHOO, (blow) ACHOO, cough cough, ACHOO (blow). Oh, for the love of puppies, shoot me. Where is my codeine cough syrup when I need it?

Thursday, July 10

After a long drive, and almost hitting a groundhog that was sitting in the middle of a four lane highway, I arrived at the airport. My brother and his family got to see a big black bear sitting in the middle of the road on their drive up. I get a groundhog. Stupid groundhog.

Note to self: my very thin, Hanes boys' white tank top makes getting through security a breeze. Use it if ya got it, right?

And the final pic of the trip.

Does a pink cowboy shirt negate the "toughness" of the cowboy himself? Hmmmm....

Sickness update: cough cough, hack hack, ACHOO, ACHOO, (blow) ACHOO, cough cough, ACHOO (blow). Todd picked up my cough syrup while I was gone, so I downed a big swig before bed and slept soundly though the night. And Friday, felt right as rain. Huh. Must have been that clean, mountain air.

Next up.....Weekend Update!

Wrappin' It Up

Must focus
Last minute binders to make
Two more meetings to plan
Out Of Office to set
Oh, but no can do

Map from Pittsburgh
Printing of the itinerary
Weather for Nestorville
What to pack, what to pack?
T-shirts and shorts
Do I need a fleece?
Duh. Always take a fleece.

Did I send that last email?
Is everything tidied up?
Does the big boss lady have her schedule?
Should I give them a phone number?
Nah. Let 'em wing it
They'll live

One last Swiffering
Desk is so clean
Papers are stacked neatly
Coffee cup is washed
File cabinet is locked
Pens will not go missing this time
Like at Christmas

Okay, it's time
Powerdown
Lock the door, turn off the light
Am I forgetting anything?
Got my glasses
Got my printouts
Left notes for the bosses

Feel like there's something else.....

Oh for the love of puppies, let's just get the hell outta here!

See ya in a week!

Din Din, Thunderstorms and West Virginia

Funny how as soon as I walked out of the office yesterday, my mood improved. Isn't that funny? I'm sure the massage at 5pm didn't hurt.

After the massage, I jaunted off to West Seattle where Shaun FINALLY got to meet Todd (or as Shaun has been calling him - Snuffalufatodd.) We had dinner at the Celtic Swell on Alki while Erin McNamee played pretty much every song from our old Guitar Night binder.

The men seemed to get along just fine. They talked about movies and music and other stuff that I tuned out because I was listening to Erin. I got a text later that night from Shaun, telling me he approved. Well, "tentatively approved" were his exact words, but I know Shaun, and I know he's just giving me a hard time. I hope. In any case, I'm glad that hurdle has been cleared. Now I just need to Todd to meet Kim-n-Tim and then the relationship will be 100% real.

What about the parents? you ask.

Mom and Todd apparently have a little email relationship going on, so I consider them having already met. Wouldn't you agree?

After dinner, I headed back to Ballard (school night, you know) and promptly fell asleep. But I was awakened at 2:30am by pouring rain, thunder and lightning that lit up my whole apartment. There had been lightning all evening, but nothing like this. Holy geez. I was *this close* to calling Todd and whining that I was afraid the lightning was going to come in the windows and get me.

Did you know my uncle has been struck by lightning? Twice?
So you can understand my fear.

In the end, I decided I was a big girl and did not need to call my boyfriend in the middle of the night just because I was scared. I did, however, unplug all of my major electronic items. Cause that's what you do in Texas during a thunderstorm. What happens if you don't? Your big ass 50-something inch TV blows up.

Ask my parents about that.

So I unplugged stuff. Including my precious coffee maker. Priorities and all.

And this morning, it's dark and rainy, but that's okay. Because in 24 hours I will be on a plane, headed to the country.

Where the forecast says scattered thunderstorms through next Wednesday.

Crap.

But it's still vacation so I'm not bothered. Now, if the creek is too high to play in, like last time I was home, I'm going to be one pissed off chicky. Here's hoping the universe is happy this week and works with me.

31 Flavors of Ick

Or, Crankalicious.

I need to throw a tantrum. Big time. I'm wound up and I'm not sure why. My underthings are cutting into me, my shirt is too tight, I feel fat, I hate these jeans and my shoe has something that's poking me.

One of my supervisors is out so everyone feels the need to pop their little head in my office and ask where he is. How about I don't care? Now get outta my office.

I just remembered a meeting that is happening on July 14, my first day back after a week long vacation, and I haven't done the minutes for the last meeting to present at this meeting. So I gotta get that done before I leave work tomorrow. And minutes take me a long, long time. It's really no fun.

I feel like I have something in my eye but I can't find anything. So I'm rubbing my eye a lot. And it's pissing me off.

Sigh.

Sorry. That's all I got.

Send hugs.
And wine.

Total Score!

Okay. Yes, I know it's June, and I know we just had one of the hottest weekends EVER, but come on!

How could I not?

Goodwill. Thirty bucks. Leather.
SCORE!

I can't wait for fall.

Laundry Update

Because I know you have nothing better to do than wonder how my laundry situation is.

When I was out sick last week, I asked my neighbor in #2 if I could throw a load of laundry in. It was her laundry day, but I know she's retired and is home every day, so I was hoping it wouldn't be a big deal to her.

When I explained that I was home sick and even though I was hacking up a lung, I wanted to take advantage of my day off because my laundry day was Friday, and I was never home on Friday evenings, so I felt the need to do laundry when I could...

[breathe]

She said, "Oh, take Tuesday!"
I said, "Really, you're okay with having Friday?"
She said, "Sure! I'm home every day. Tuesday, Friday, it doesn't matter to me. Please, just take Tuesday."

Then she asked if I needed anything. Tissues, cough drops, soup. Total grandma. Just wanting to take care of the sick little girl. I told her I was good for now, but thank you.

So!
Now I can do laundry on Tuesdays. Which is normally my walk with Rachelle and Val day, but if I throw a load in as soon as I get home from work, it will be finished by the time I leave so I can throw it in the dryer and then get it out when I return from my walk.

Are you as relieved as I am?
Whew.

I may still drop it off at the wash-n-fold place if the social life gets a little too crazy or I run out of quarters. I like how they fold my Hanky Pankies.

Weekend Update.....And Then Some

One of the perks of dating Todd is that he's so quick to get his post about our weekends up so you guys are In The Know come Monday morning. Thus, alleviating the pressure for me to get something written. Because, believe it or not, I get emails asking me how my weekend was and just why have I not posted yet this morning!

Almost makes me feel famous.

Side note: artichokes kind of look like chicken in the pasta salad I'm eating for lunch, but taste nothing like chicken. So, it's quite a shock to expect chicken and get artichoke. Very different experiences. I'm just sayin'.....

Anywho.

While I didn't consider this past weekend to be jammed packed, in retrospect, we were quite the little social butterflies. Todd has even created a google calendar for us to which we can both contribute. Planners unite!

As you may have read, we partied it up with some of my co-workers Friday night. And somehow the party ended up at the Lock-n-Keel. Okay, maybe I was the one who suggested it. Who knows. You remember the Lock-n-Keel. My old home away from home. When I was apartment hunting last summer, one of the requirements was that it was walking (or, stumbling) distance from the Lock-n-Keel. Then I had the bottom of the barrel night in October and well, the desire to hang out there suddenly disappeared.

And Friday night, I made the declaration to Todd that I did not need to go there again. Too many memories. Memories that I would rather put to bed and then forget about it. There were some fun times with the Ex there, but that's a different life ago. Time to move on.

Saturday morning, I declared that I did not need to drink jack-n-cokes again, either. My stomach was not at all happy with me. So my little bottle of Jack Daniels that I bought when I first moved into my apartment went home with Jessica and Sam.

And speaking of Jessica, I bawled like a baby when she left. It's one thing to not have her spending the night with me every week (she was great blogging material), but now I won't even see her at work. Luckily, as the fates would have it, Todd has family in Bellingham, so here's hoping there will be some road trips up there.

After my crying fit, Todd and I ate some breakfast, then headed to Costco. Where I thought Todd was finally going to get see Very Cranky Raechelle. Lemme tell ya, it took a ton of energy to not just whack people upside the head as I walked by them. I don't do people. I don't do large groups of people who are completely unaware that they are not alone on this planet. For the love of puppies people, just be aware!

So, we made it out of Costco in tact and Todd didn't have to see my head spin around while I called people very bad names. Probably for the best.

Then, that afternoon, was the big joint birthday party. It was a good time and I met lots of cool, new people who just absolutely adore Todd. I was introduced to a few people who had heard of me but that I'd never met, so I was a bit on the spot for a while.

(Todd, posing with his girls.)

Then the granddaddy of On The Spot happened.

Trish asked if I wanted to give a toast to Todd, as The Girlfriend. She was going to give the toast to Dan, her husband. I very politely said, "Um, hell no". I can get on stage and belt out "Angel from Montgomery" with a moment's notice, but ask me to actually form coherent sentences in front of a bunch of people I just met, who I feel are already paying way too much attention to me? I'll pass, thank you.

So, I made my way to the back of the room to stand by Ann and Doug, because I know them, while Trish toasted Dan and Todd and said really nice things about them. Then one by one, the guests starting saying nice things and it was all well and good until Val toasted Todd. She said she was happy for him and this great place he's in and he's a great guy and (something to the effect of) best wishes to him and his new girlfriend, Raechelle.

At which point EVERYONE in the very large room turned to look at me. Whadya gonna do?

I smiled as best I could and waved.

And Doug said, "Why, Raechelle. You color up real nice."

I thought the tops of my ears were going to burst into flames.

Once the moment of utter spotlight was over, I poured myself a big ass glass of white wine and mingled like a mad woman. That's where Ann, Natasha and I decided we MUST go shopping for shoes and make up. Because that's what women do.

So, the party wound down, we packed everything up and caravaned over to Todd's. There was dinner out, then a movie, then more socializing, and finally at 11:30pm, it was bedtime. Whew. Suffice it to say, I did not need my codeine cough syrup in order to sleep through the night. I was plum tuckered out (getting ready for West Virginia).

And Sunday morning, Todd had to bribe me with a latte to get me out of bed. Finally. At 9am.

Remember when I used to sleep in until 10 or 11am? Yeah, those days are gone. Tyler was at the bedroom door at 5:30am asking if we wanted eggs for breakfast. Sigh. You can't really get upset when a 14 year old is offering to cook you breakfast. Even if it's before dawn.

Apparently, it was even too early for Tyler, because when we left for Starbucks at 9:30am, he was asleep on the couch. And he only had on one sock. It was very cute.

The latte helped my energy level, at least enough to try on a few things at Target. I have a couple new sparkly tank tops for West Virginia now. And a cute skirt.

The rest of the afternoon was spent lounging because it was too freakin' hot to even think about doing anything else. Well, until I got on a cleaning fit. I simply washed up the wine glasses, which turned into loading the dishwasher, which turned into wiping down the counter tops, which turned into wiping down the front of the cabinets.

Which turned into Todd scrubbing the stove top. Hee hee. I infected him.

But then Jamie arrived for dinner, so I had to put the sponge down. We had a lovely celebratory dinner and then celebratory ice cream and then just hung out chatting until 8:30pm.

I kept saying, last week, that I was going to leave West Seattle around noon on Sunday. I had some shopping I wanted to do, Ruby needs a bath very badly and I wanted to start preparing for my trip. But it's funny how none of those things seem very appealing when I'm laughing my ass off with Todd. The man just cracks me up.

I finally made it home, got some administrative stuff done, and crashed for the night. It was quite warm in my apartment, so I opened all the windows and just slept with a sheet. It's baffling to have such warm weather after freezing our butts off for eight months.

So, this week will be some last minute shopping for shorts and capris (mine are a bit too big and baggy on me) and hopefully a dinner with Shaun. Then I fly out Friday morning!

I'm already giddy.

Well, would you look at that?
I accidently took a two hour lunch. Huh.

Guess I should get back work now........

The Very Last First

Welcome Back

By Eliza Gilkyson

It was the summer of my discontent

It was the fall of a lifetime

It was the winter of my penitence

Waitin' on the springtime

It was all sackcloth and ashes

Four a couple of years

I took my licks and my hundred lashes

I cried a bucket of tears

Well, that distant shore is forever out of reach
Before you know it you're washed up on the beach

And it's welcome back

It was a pretty dark day

But now the sun is shining

Welcome back

I guess I'm on my way

I was bent but I was not broken

I was sinking but I did not drown

I was reeling but I was still hoping

I could be lost and found

I was temporarily disconnected

In a state of disrepair

Disoriented and dejected

I had to climb out of there

Through the labyrinth and down

Til you land on solid ground

Welcome back......

All Kinds of Randomness

My doctor called in a prescription for cough syrup with codeine yesterday, and boy howdy, did I sleep well last night! I wish I'd ask for that sooner. With the exception of the very high range of my voice (which, honestly, who really wants to hear that? The lower range is much sexier) I have my voice back and am singing my fool head off in my office today.

Song of the day: Communication by The Cardigans
"And I hold the record for being patient...." Ha! Damn straight, baby.

Also, making a frequent appearance: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz.
"So, I won't hesitate no more, it cannot wait, I'm yours...." Oh, Rae-rae, just give in and do it!

**********

I have gone through boxes and boxes of apple cinnamon instant oatmeal and cannot find one that is as good as McCann's. Apparently, the big BM (Ballard Market) stopped carrying this particular flavor of McCann's and now my world is completely shattered. One brand tastes like cardboard, one brand has so much cinnamon it's almost syrupy, one brand had no apple-like flavor whatsoever. I'm avoiding buying the Quaker's brand, but I'm running out of options. I may have to just suck it up and go for the unacceptable amount of sugar. Poo.

Should you see this brand (green box) while grocery shopping, please email me. I'm willing to bribe someone to mail me this stuff. Like the Coco Wheats.

**********

It's actually supposed to hit 80 degrees today. And from the looks of it, I think it may happen. This weekend is supposed to be in the 90s. Seattlites are going to freak out. If you want to see half naked people, this is the weekend for it. People start wearing shorts when it hits 55 degrees. Can you imagine what they wear (or don't wear) when it's 90? Good times.....

**********

In a mere seven days, I will be in West Virginia. Well, actually, at this time next week, I'll be landing in Pittsburgh and then driving two and a half hours to Nestorville.

Once in Nestorville, my sister will greet me with a glass of wine, I will kick of my shoes and feel my cares just slip away. I may take a quick dip in the creek before supper and then I plan to be a bonafide country gal for a whole week. And I get to see my mommy and daddy!

**********

I'm ready for this day to be over. I ate lunch at 11:30am. That was stupid. Just makes the afternoon crawl. Ack.

Well, if we want to think about this in a positive light, early lunch means I get to eat again before I leave. Round two!

**********

I'm wearing my white frilly skirt today. I feel pretty.

Funny story though. I wore this white frilly skirt to the :20 Festival a few weeks ago. And for some reason that is still not clear to me, I thought black panties wouldn't show through.

Guess what?

Black panties showed through. And I didn't know this until the end of the night when Todd and I were headed back to the car and I popped into the bathroom. Doug and Ann (along with everyone else who walked behind me that night) must think I'm one of those crazy chicks who likes her underthings to show. Which I am. Maybe just not when I first meet people.

My panties are white today, in case you were wondering.
I have to be a bit more reserved at work.

Good Bye, Dearest Jessica

My part-time roommate, Jessica, is leaving me.

*sniff*

She got a job in Bellingham. Now she actually gets to live in her own house, seven days a week, and be with her man.

So, today we are having a vegetarian gluten free potluck. Fun times! And quite the challenge. I made some kind of quinoa salad with a tahini sauce. And no, I'm not eating it. Because I discovered that I don't like tahini sauce. Know what tahini is? It's ground sesame seeds. Found in the peanut butter aisle. I asked Jessica if she wanted the rest of the jar because I don't want that crap anywhere in my kitchen. She got all kinds of excited.

"Rae-rae! You can use that for falafels!"

Um, okay. Because I make falafels? No.
No, I don't.

So that's my parting gift to Jessica. Tahini sauce.

And a slumber party.

There is a big drinkfest after work and I was told that "everyone" was coming over to my place, then we'll walk down to Ballard. And I was told that people could stay over if they're too drunk to drive afterward.

Whatever. Only for Jessica.

Slumber party at Rae-rae's!!

Horoscope For Today

I think the Universe is telling me to slack off.

From Yahoo:
You'll benefit from the ambition of others. Let them do the work while you relax.

Sounds good to me.
Cause, ya know, if the Universe wants me to slack, well then.....slack I must. Who am I to question it?

Almost Maybe Kinda Better

I've had the song "Thrill is Gone" in my head all day, but I changed up the words a bit:

"Phlegm is gone.......phlegm is gone away for good...."

With the exception of some ovary busting coughing fits, I feel pretty good. I'm not wheezing and I've gotten a little more of my voice back. I haven't felt the need to nap all day. Even did some work. Yes, I may actually be on the mend.

So maybe now I can muster the energy to go to the grocery store. Because things are looking pretty pathetic in my fridge:

I don't know how long those eggs have been in there and I'm scared to look at the feta cheese. I did finish off the two heels of bread (which I absolutely hate), the turkey and the cheese, so there's even less in there. But I got butter! And wine! And tofu!

Life is good.

Still Sick

So, I could give you a weekend update, but Todd's post sums it up just fine. I will say that having him appear at the bathroom door with a big ass latte in his hand was my idea of perfection. I'm a simple woman.

Anyway.

I went to the doctor yesterday. Primarily to get a note for my boss saying I was still sick, but also because the coughing is starting to make my lungs burn and I absolutely do not need pneumonia before I fly to West Virginia on the 4th. And I don't know what pneumonia feels like so I wanted to nip it in the bud. It appears that I may have a sinus infection, so she gave me antibiotics, and she gave me a new prescription for my inhaler to help ease the wheezing.

Did you know I have asthma? I was diagnosed when I had my house cleaning business. All of the pet hair and dust brought it to light. There were times when I would take in a breath to say something and you could very clearly hear a whistle. So I have an albuterol inhaler for quick fixes. They wanted me to use a steroid inhaler to help the lungs heal but that caused some side effects that I was not willing to tolerate. I'll take the wheezing, thank you very much.

Where was I?

Oh, right. Doctor. So the doctor said bad cold, maybe a sinus infection, few more days of rest. I'm stocked up on tea, cough drops and NyQuil. Yes, it's a party around here.

Happy Anniversary, Ruby!

(photo from June 21, 2006)

It was two years ago today that I brought my baby, Ruby, home. And she has been my constant through this last year.

Through the break up, homelessness, couch surfing and sadness. I sat in her often, when I wanted to be alone, and cried, with my head on her steering wheel. Her trunk held bags of my clothes and her backseat was home to my shoes. And today, in happier times, her passenger seat is my breakfast table on the drive to work and we rock out to Rilo Kiley when we're feeling all tough and grrr.

She has one major knick on her - on the top of her rear, passenger wheel well. Someone in an orange car opened their door and dinged her. But other than that (and a slight grease stain from some butter that slid off my english muffin one morning) she's perfect.

I love my Ruby.

Summer Solstice!

Summer officially begins here in Seattle at 4:59pm. (I don't know how they can narrow it down like that, but whatever.)

And magically, the high here today is supposed to reach 74 degrees.

Holy crap.

Heat wave!

But then, Sunday, we're back down to 66. Sigh.

It's hard to dress in weather like this. And it may be warm outside, but my office is still freezing, so I'm in my khakis (summery!), my pink cable knit sweater (wintery!) over my Hanes boys white tank (summery!) and my shiny black ballet slippers (year round!). I'm feeling very balanced today. Once I leave work, I can shed the sweater and soak up some vitamin D.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I feel guilty for not posting much lately and I'm giving you something to cling to since you probably won't hear from me all weekend. Aren't I sweet?

And here.
Here's a bunny.

Happy Summer!

Here, But Not Really Here

I'm at work today. Woo.Hoo.

But I am dreaming of my sweats and my bed. I am exhausted. I'm not as stuffy, not hacking as much, but still.....pooped. I think my boss was actually surprised to see me today. Good. Then she won't be surprised when I leave early.

I haven't had coffee since Sunday. Can you believe that? Actually, the real question is, should I take this opportunity to wean myself from it completely?

Naaa. That's just crazy talk!

On my drive in this morning, I declared to no one in particular, "You bet your ass I'm having coffee this morning!" Then I quoted Hedwig: "Deny me and be doomed". And then I chuckled. Cause I think I'm funny.

But I haven't had coffee today. Sticking with Throat Coat tea. It's probably best.

RIP Edith Macefield

Edith Macefield died on Sunday.

I wrote about Edith back in February. She was quite the talk of Ballard, as she was offered a million dollars for her house and she turned it down. Instead, they've been building the Trader Joe's around her.

She has no living family, so no one is sure what will happen to the house. Rumor has it, she left it to the senior construction superintendent. He had been checking in on her and even taking her to doctor's appointments during the construction.

Edith was 86 years old. And died in her house.

Just like she wanted.

I Suck

Yeah, yeah, I know. I haven't posted in a few days. I'm still sick and the ol' noggin' just isn't working too well. And since I've done pretty much nothing but lay around in my apartment watching Buffy, nothing blogworthy has really happened.

I did go into work yesterday for a mere three hours. I figured my boss would fire me if I didn't at least make the effort. So I got through my emails, cleaned out my inbox, then came back home and got into bed.

I am very much looking forward to this weekend though. Lots o' Todd time. A birthday dinner on Friday night, breakfast with the godparents, who are in town from Houston, Saturday morning and a ferry ride to Bainbridge Island for a wine tasting on Sunday with another couple. A nice, little trip that Todd planned. And I didn't have do anything.

I love that.

Weekend Update

I'm home today. Somehow, I picked up a cold from someone over the weekend. Hmmm. Who could that have been?

Doesn't matter. It was totally worth it.

Friday night's movie was Control, the story of Ian Curtis, the lead singer of Joy Division. I had never heard of Joy Division until a month ago, but I like their stuff. The movie was beautiful. Then there was some Robot Chicken, which I had never seen, even though I love Seth Green. Very funny. Very un-PC.

Saturday, Todd and I had planned to go through the boxes of stuff from the fire, but we decided it would not be the best project to take on since he was still sick and hacking up stuff. So the day was spent in PJs, watching gobs of movies with Kayleigh (Tyler had gone to a friend's for the evening) . We did eventually put on pants to go get dinner. We were all pretty stir crazy come 7pm. After dinner, we tried to watch Sweeny Todd but I just didn't care about it at that point and Todd was sounding even worse than he had the past night, so I went to get NyQuil and he medicated up. Since I didn't wake up much during the night, I'm guessing he didn't wake up much during the night and he seemed to have some energy on Sunday.

Sunday - Father's Day.
And what a freakin' beautiful day in Seattle! Blue skies, in the high 60s. Just beautiful. We had a nice low key morning (and my throat starting hurting), then went downtown for lunch and to see The Incredible Hulk.

Honestly, I probably would not have had any desire to see this if it weren't for Todd and the kids. I simply went along for the ride and to have some quality time with my man. But I really liked the movie. Edward Norton and Liv Tyler had great chemistry and there was some very witty, unexpected dialogue. And granted, the Hulk is CGI, but it still doesn't take away from how good the movie is. And it emphasizes how freakin' strong he is, which I don't think they could have done with an actor. Yes, thoroughly enjoyed the movie.

Immediately after the movie, Todd looked at me and said "I need to go home." Guess it was a little too much fun for one day. So, home we went, then I packed up and headed back to Ballard.

My skin, my muscles and even my teeth were hurting at this point, so I loaded up on Advil, took a hot epsom salt bath and snoozed on the couch until 9:30pm. I don't remember waking up at all last night, so I must have slept pretty well. When my alarm went off at 6:45am this morning, my throat hurt so bad I could hardly swallow. I've looked in there with a flashlight, and I don't see anything abnormal.

Now I've had my chicken soup and may just go back to bed. After I check my work email, because I'm dedicated like that. The weather is beautiful again today, but I just want to sleep. I hate that.

There will be a more personality infused blog post tomorrow.
Promise.

For The Non Believers

I often go back and read my own blog, both the old one and the new one.

Narcissistic? Maybe.

I've also been working my way through my old journals. I started a diary when I was seven or so (it was pink, had a little lock on it), and wrote up through age 22. It's been an eye opening experience. I tend to say "When I was 14 and friendless and alone....blah blah blah" but after re-reading the journals from those days, it appears that I was not friendless and alone. I was quite the social butterfly. Boys were asking me out, I was asking out boys, dad was saying no regularly. I had a couple of very constant, good girlfriends. But when I flash back to that time, that's not the stuff I remember.

My therapist said that powerful emotions can take the place of reality when we think back. It's like a snapshot. He asked me what I see in my snapshot when I say "When I was 14....". Know what I see?

I see me, sitting on the edge of my bed in my bedroom that is red, black and white, with walls covered in New Kids On The Block and Corey Haim posters. My mom is sitting beside me, with her arm around me. She's consoling me because my plans for that night (I'm guessing it was a weekend night) have just been cancelled and I'm extremely upset about this. Now I have to stay home and that equals "no friends". My mom is stroking my head and apologizing.

Apologizing!

Telling me she sorry that she didn't put me in sports or activities so that I would have more friends. And the next day she'll take me shopping to make me feel better. Cause that's how she operated. Which is why we're such good friends, I think.

So that "powerful emotion" (love and comfort from my mom) that has taken the place of reality (Miss Social Butterfly has to stay home one night. Poo). That "powerful emotion" has skewed the memories I have of my past. So going back and reading my journals has clarified some things for me.

However, there are no pictures in my journals, so I'm still convinced I was fat in high school.

Anyway.

Going back and reading the first blog is just a nice stroll down memory lane and re-reading the new blog reminds me how strong I am and how far I've come in a year.

It can also shed some light on things. In the re-reading of my new blog, I came across this post: Gimme A Break, Will Ya? That horoscope now takes on a whole different meaning. And hanineal's comment flat out gives me the shivers. I don't know who that person is, but I am almost convince it was the universe itself. Cause, you know, the universe blogs.

I mentioned this post to Todd back when we first met, and I said "I guess this "new group of people" is you and your group of people?" His response was, "Well, duh." (he's so wise, that one) I guess I forgot about the exchange.

Until this morning.

I've always believed in horoscopes (and the fact that sometimes they're just way off) but this one has just solidified that belief. Someone, somewhere knew what was about to take place in my life. They gave me hint and then let me go.

Oh, Dee had an inkling too, but I know her so it's not as Twilight Zone-y.

Domestic Tranquility

My horoscope for today:

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Romance, hugs, and bonds of affection all figure prominently in the stars. You will find success by pairing up with like-minded individuals who share your views and ideals. Enjoy domestic tranquility.

Funny, too, because I'll be using my lunch to pick up cough drops and chicken noodle soup for Todd and the kids, who are all sick today. Poor things.

This is where I thrive.

I'm a helper. I like making lives easier and taking care of people. I think that's what the baby meter is all about. Having a little ball of goo that can't do anything without you. Well, I don't have a ball of goo, but I have three sick cutie pies who aren't moving from their couches today and who need something.

And that'll do just fine.

The Last of the Firsts

Despite my utter joy in this wonderful, new relationship, I am still struggling through this first year of life after The Ex. Six years with someone, when you're in your mid 20's, is a long time and although I've bounced back from the break up almost completely, I'm still stricken with moments of sadness and mourning. That first christmas, the first anniversary in January, my birthday. And now we're coming upon a year anniversary of the break up itself. Once all of these firsts are done, I'm home free. I'll start a new post break up first free year.

But until then......

Today marks the year anniversary of the big party. The night that made it so very clear that even though I loved The Ex very much, my heart just wasn't in it anymore. It was a fantastic party, but I went to bed knowing the end was near.

I'm not really sad today. I'm way too happy to be sad. But it's still a milestone and I'm still a bit emotional. It's just overwhelming to think about how different my life is these days.

I'm happy where I am now. I'm more confident, I'm stronger (I'm thinner) and I know exactly what I want and what I will not tolerate. And now, I make choices rather than letting someone else decide what I get out of my life. That's empowering. It's been a long time since I've felt empowered.

I've got one more first and then we're done. I can put that Year After The Break Up behind me and finally move on. And start making new firsts.

Birds, Funny Fest, Lots of Movies and a Sleepover

(Or, as Shaun kept referring to it, "Tour de Todd")

Ready? Got your coffee?
This is going to be a long one.....

Thursday evening, Jamie, her sister and I went to zoo and drank with flamingos. Not too terribly exciting. The best part was that we got six drink tickets and the pours were an ACTUAL pour. Not a tasting pour. Bonus.


Oh, and there were flamingos.

Did I mention that I don't like birds?

And that I was dive bombed by a crow Friday morning, right outside of my apartment, as I was going to my car? He swooped in front of my face and I screamed like a sissy.

Do.Not.Like.Birds.

Anyway, Friday, after work, I headed over to Todd's to get gussied up. Then we were off to meet his friends, Doug and Ann, along with some of their friends, for dinner downtown and attend the :20 Funny Festival. Ann and Doug are unbelievably easy to be around and, just as with Todd, it felt like I had never not known them. And Ann is a lover of shoes and cocktails, so there was never a lag in conversation.

After that, back to Todd's to relieve his stepmother from her babysitting duties and to cuddle on the couch and chat. Which meant I got home a bit late.

Saturday.

Up early to meet Shaun for breakfast. I hadn't seen him in, what felt like, weeks and was having withdrawals. I was grilled, just as I anticipated, and when telling him about Todd, I felt myself slip into one of those annoying-newly-dating-so-giddy-and-happy-other-people-want-to-slap-you grins. Which tells me that, while I still have a very large wall up, the bricks are starting to crumble. I am adapting to this new man in my life. And it feels really good.

After breakfast I headed back over to Todd's to get gussied up once again. Then we were off to the screening of his friends' films at the STIFF film festival. I met writers and directors and made small talk with strangers. It was all very glamorous. Well, not really. Have you been to the Rendezvous? It's a dive. But the people are amazingly talented.

After the screenings, back to Todd's, where we ended our busy day with Run Ronnie Run and a glass of wine.

And then I slept over. Because gas is $4.25 a gallon and I was headed right back over there Sunday morning. Todd was quick to okay it with the kids and Kayleigh was downright giddy. Poor girl just wants some estrogen in the house with her.

Sunday.

We were awakened by Kayleigh climbing on the bed and reading us facts from a kids' magazine at 8am. Did you know that frogs glow when they eat fire flies? After our morning lesson, I made french toast for breakfast. Easy as pie, but it always impresses people.

(Kayleigh and Tyler are being doors behind me.)

And then it was time to get ready for another day of films. But this was THE day. Todd's film Ordinary Angels was showing. It was "well received" (like that lingo?) and there was a Q&A session afterwards where Todd and the other two filmmakers in the block answered questions and talked about upcoming projects.

And I got a pretty official pass, cause, ya know, I'm datin' one of the filmmakers.

Suits me, don't you think?

We had lunch after the OA screening with some of the cast from the movie and other producers and writers, then back to WS (West Seattle) to pick up the kids from Todd's brother's and to decompress from two days in high heeled boots.

I ended up not going with the gold strappy shoes ensemble because 1) it barely hit 60 degrees today and 2) Todd's film is about a bunch of tough angels and badass fallen. A cutesy, flowery dress with pretty, strappy shoes would not have cut it. So I went with the stiletto heel knee high boots and a red skirt. I'm all about ensembles, but I'm more about theme. Gotta match the theme.

The question is, how can I profit from this quirk? Hmmmm......

Now I'm home and exhausted, but am feeling the pressure to get this posted before I go to bed because Todd already has his post of the weekend up. Call it a blog-off, if you will.

**Update**
After finishing this post, I clicked over and read Todd's post. Funny to see that we actually have some of the same sentences. It's just one of the many creepy ways we seem to be in sync.

Is Everybody Strapped In?

It's quite possible that you won't be hearing from me again until Monday. Tonight begins my whirlwind weekend of wine tastings, dinners, comedy shows, movie screenings and schmoozing. And being arm candy. Which, you know I just live for.

After work this evening, I'm joining Jamie and her sister for "Drinkin' with the Flamingos" at the Woodland Park Zoo. I'm sure there's a more official event name, but I'm sticking with "Drinkin' with the Flamingos". It evokes a certain.....whimsy, doesn't it? Apparently there's a new flamingo exhibit at the zoo and apparently the zoo thinks that we winos LOVE flamingos (birds scare me), so they're mixing a wine tasting with the pink birds. I'm dying to meet the marketing guy who came up with this idea. If he still has a job.

Tomorrow, I have to arrive at work at 6:30am (shoot me) for a staff meeting. Oh, but the reward is that I get to leave at 3pm. I'll head to Todd's (after making a quick stop for a big ass triple venti non-fat latte) to get beautified for our Friday night dinner with his friends and then our local radio station The Mountain's :20 Funny Festival.

Tangent:
I blew a huge chunk of money on tickets for this last year for The Ex's birthday because the Flight of the Conchords were headlining (and you know how we love them). The show was on June 30th. And we broke up on June 29th. And the tickets went in the garbage.

*ahem*

Moving on.

Saturday evening Todd and I will be attending the screening of Rectify at STIFF, a film by Todd's friend, then Sunday is the screening of Todd's film, Ordinary Angels. Here's where I get to be arm candy. I asked him if I should get my teeth whitened and wear a floor length gown, but he says it's not that fancy. So, I just bought new shoes instead.

There you have it! Whee!

Until Monday, you'll just have to surf through the blogroll to your right for entertainment. Hopefully I'll have all kinds of good stuff to blog about on Monday. Maybe even some pictures.

**If you're in the Seattle-ish area and want to support my man, be here:

Jewel Box Theater - in the Rendezvous (Belltown)
Sun, June 8
1:30pm

Kinky Coffee

We have a little riff going on up here in Seattle.

Topless baristas.

First, it's too damn cold here (on June 4th!) to be topless. For anything. So, more power to them for braving the frigid temps. Maybe it's hot and steamy in those little coffee stands? Who knows.

And second, who cares if they want to serve coffee topless? If it offends someone, maybe someone should go to one of the other fifty gazillion coffee huts/drive thru espresso stands/Starbucks/Tully's/Mom-n-pop cafes.

I don't care for the checkers at the Walgreens on Market and 15th (they're really, really odd) so I choose to go to another drug store. Even though that Walgreens may be the most convenient place for me to stop at that time, I don't go there because it makes me uncomfortable. Thankfully, there are three other Walgreens (along with two Bartell's) in a two mile radius so if I REALLY need to go to a drug store, I have other options.

Now, I'm not getting on a soapbox about what's right and what's wrong, and I'm not telling those people who are complaining to "get over it". It's important to you. Okay fine. And if a topless baristas is worth all this energy you're using to complain, well, that's your decision. I ain't judgin'.

I'm just tired of hearing about this every day. There are so many other things to stress about it life. So a girl shows her boobies? Ack.

All this hubbub is just getting us ready for the nekkid bicyclists at the Fremont Solstice Parade. I keep saying, when I hit my goal weight of 98 lbs, I'm going ride in the parade.

Fo' shizzle.

We Now Return You To Your Regularly Scheduled Broadcast

Jessica's over. We're back on Mondays.

Tonight, Jessica schooled me in the ways of her native land. We watched hockey. And I really got into it, even though I was constantly losing track of the puck.

"Oh, Rae-rae. You are SO American...."

Detroit lost to Pittsburgh in the 3rd overtime, so they have to play again. Apparently, it's a best out of seven series. I was rooting for Detroit. I like red. And all the guys had facial hair.

And you know how I feel about facial hair.

On that note, Todd has offered to grow his beard out.

Yes, he knows how to woo me.

Reason 138 - Why I Love Jamie

I showed Jamie my new shoes last night when she came over and she did the proper oohing and ahhing. Then, on our walk down to Ballard, I told her my fear about the weather versus my little summer ensemble.

Me: "Rumor has it that it's supposed to be cold and rainy and..."
Jamie, interrupting: "You wear the outfit anyway. I have the perfect mink stole you can borrow."

I stopped walking and looked at her.

Me, with furrowed brow, head cocked to the side: "You have a mink stole?"
Jamie : "Yes." [blink blink]
Me, continuing to walk: "Of course you do."