Monday, June 9, 2008

The Last of the Firsts

Despite my utter joy in this wonderful, new relationship, I am still struggling through this first year of life after The Ex. Six years with someone, when you're in your mid 20's, is a long time and although I've bounced back from the break up almost completely, I'm still stricken with moments of sadness and mourning. That first christmas, the first anniversary in January, my birthday. And now we're coming upon a year anniversary of the break up itself. Once all of these firsts are done, I'm home free. I'll start a new post break up first free year.

But until then......

Today marks the year anniversary of the big party. The night that made it so very clear that even though I loved The Ex very much, my heart just wasn't in it anymore. It was a fantastic party, but I went to bed knowing the end was near.

I'm not really sad today. I'm way too happy to be sad. But it's still a milestone and I'm still a bit emotional. It's just overwhelming to think about how different my life is these days.

I'm happy where I am now. I'm more confident, I'm stronger (I'm thinner) and I know exactly what I want and what I will not tolerate. And now, I make choices rather than letting someone else decide what I get out of my life. That's empowering. It's been a long time since I've felt empowered.

I've got one more first and then we're done. I can put that Year After The Break Up behind me and finally move on. And start making new firsts.


Anonymous said...

Yes. All the milestones have to be crossed, because whether you acknowledge them and deal with them or not, they come. And then they go. And then you are free of it. So, little chick, you are oh so on the right road. And I'm so glad you have your bright spot to look forward to when you get through it! Love You - MM

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