Weekend Update

Mondays are so much better when you get smoochies as you leave for work. By your boyfriend, not just by some random neighbor that you've accosted. Trust me on that.

As mentioned in said boyfriends' blog, Friday was dinner with Kenni and Joel. Sneaky, sneaky Joel.

But before dinner, Todd and I went to Target to get me a nightguard. Look at me, actually following a professional's advice. Well, I got two sport mouthguards. One for my place, one for Todd's place, because I'm one of those tramps now who keeps her shampoo, soap, toothbrush and deodorant at her boyfriend's house. We haven't progressed to clothing yet, so you parents can just settle down. It's just toiletries at this point. And mouthguards.

Speaking of which, could this picture BE any cuter:

Tiny little girly deodorant, and big manly tall deodorant. That's me and Todd, in a nutshell. And no, I'm not afraid to show you our deodorant. So there.

Where was I?

Oh, mouthguards.

So I bought two of them, and did the whole boiling thing and, holy crap, those things are HUGE. There is no way I would be able to sleep with that huge chunk of....whatever..... in my mouth. I'd rather just go for the root canal. One time shot, lots of good drugs afterwards.

But, upon further consideration, I tried my whitening tray that I got a few years ago. Same concept. Plastic, molded to my teeth. I used it Saturday night and wala! No headache Sunday morning. I'll try it for a couple of weeks and see if the pain lets up. I'll keep you posted. Because I know you're just on the edge of your seat, aren't you?

So after the mouthguard experiment, off to dinner. I'm going to forget to mention the Raechelle's-an-idiot-and-walked-into-the-men's-room-AGAIN-story. Unlike Todd. Thanks, babe.

Saturday was a Bellingham trip. Farmer's market, meeting Todd's sister and niece, then lunch and shopping with his mom and a visit with his grandparents. Then I branched off and met up with Jamie for din din, and back home where I tried to stay up for Saturday Night Live, but was unable. Because, apparently, I am no longer a young whipper snapper.

Esther had friends over around 8:30 Sunday morning, so I was awake bright and early. It seems they were hanging out in her bedroom and bathroom which is, of course, right above my bedroom and bathroom, and they were quite chipper (and loud). So I tried to be optimistic and take it as a sign to get my day started. Four cups of coffee helped.

That afternoon, I visited with Kim, Tim and Milo for a bit. Then Kim accompanied me to Macy's for a quick shopping trip, including the dreaded bathing suit search since I'll be in beautiful California for a week. And, I swear to gawd, not one bottom that I tried on covered my butt. And you know my butt ain't that big. The suits are just getting smaller and smaller. I told Kim, if I wanted my ass to show, I'd just go naked. What's the point in spending $60 on a suit when I'm hardly covered? So, bathing suit shopping was a bust.

On the way home from shopping, Ruby almost got creamed by a very large and green minivan. That thing wanted in my lane something fierce, so to get out of her way, we went up on the curb. Scared the crap out of all of us. I think Ruby was actually shaking on the rest of the drive. So, to calm her down, I took her to Brown Bear and gave her a good washing and vacuuming. She seemed okay after that. Poor baby....

And then back to Todd's for dinner. But first, a quick trip to Marshall's, just to see if maybe they had any bathing suits left. And wouldn't you know it? Found a suit. That is the exact same style and cut as the one I just gave to Goodwill four months ago. Perfect. This one is brown and blue though. I tell you this because you probably will not ever see a picture of me in it. Unless I'm drunk. Which, let's face it, is not unheard of.

So, shopping, dinner, a nice chat with Tyler then Jim Gaffigan. Oh my gawd, Todd and I laughed until our throats hurt. He is freakin' hysterical. "Have you tried the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It's the Hot Pocket filled with a Hot Pocket. Tastes just like a Hot Pocket. Hot Pocket...."

What a nice way to end the weekend.

And here we are at Monday! Ack.

Actually, my day isn't too bad. Time flies when you....uh....don't work.

Oh, kidding, kidding. I work. Occasionally. Most of the time.
Rarely.

Wha....?

Is It Tomorrow Yet?

What the hell is up with the universe today?

I can't count the number of cars who almost ran or eased into me because they weren't paying attention to what they were doing. Or the number of people I almost hit with my car because they stepped off the curb, cell phone to their ear, completely unaware that there were cars zooming past.

Here's a tip for ya: PAY ATTENTION, PEOPLE. Take yer freakin' cell phone away from your ear and look forward. How hard is that? You are not the only one in this world and one of these days, people are going to quit slamming on their brakes for you just because you're too engrossed in whatever it is you're doing to notice that there is a car coming RIGHT TOWARD YOU. Dumbass.

Okay, maybe I'm a little grumpy today.

I had a dentist appointment this morning and apparently, a root canal is not in order just yet. I have a crack in my tooth, that runs up by the nerve, and we suspect I am grinding my teeth at night (just like I have for the last 25 years) which is aggravating the nerve every day and not giving it a chance to calm down.

So, he suggested (and has been suggesting) a night guard (for six years now). Maybe I'll actually break down and buy one because it's just pissing me off now and I'm pretty sure I'm killing my stomach with the amount of Advil I'm taking on a daily basis. And the tooth pain is making the entire left side of my head hurt so that when I cough (freakin' allergies) my brain feels like it's trying to somehow exit my skull.

And then there's MS (not PMS....we are not in the "Pre" stages anymore) which just makes me want to rip out my own ovaries with my bare hands and throw them against the wall. I work in a clinic. We've got plenty of gauze. I think I can do it.

When I had my first "woman's doctor's appointment" at 17 (I think it was 17), the doctor came into the room and asked, "Now, what can I do for you?"

And I very calmly and maturely said, "I would like a hysterectomy, please."

I think my mom laughed. Only three years of being a woman and I was sick of it. Screw. This.

Sigh.

Enough about my uterus.

I am very much looking forward to this evening. Todd and I will be taking one of our faithful readers, who is visiting from Houston, and her husband out for dinner. I think we'll go somewhere on the water. Because we know how to impress our fans.

And then afterward, mucho cuddle time with my man. I think that will make all of the aches and pains magically go away. And if not, well, who cares. I still get cuddle time.

Random Thoughts

My ears are still popping from the flight home last Thursday. What happens to make it so bad sometimes? Some landings are great! No poppage at all. Are there just some good pilots and some bad pilots?

Are any of my readers pilots? Could you please explain this phenomenon to me?

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I'm thinking I may need a root canal. I've got a problem cavity that was filled the year I moved here and, although my dentist has taken out the bad filling and put in good filling, it's now throbbing pretty much regularly.

I've read what happens during a root canal. And I am none too happy about it. I may willingly give up my arm for the IV that will knock me out. And that's saying a lot.

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I have a paper cut between my first and middle finger. Helluva place for a papercut. I may start applying for worker's comp for crap like this.

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Warning: the sauce that comes on the veggie quesadilla at Tacos Guaymas is freakin' hot. If you don't do spicy (like me) maybe ask for them to leave it off. Much less painful. I will remember next time.

Also, when you go to their website, there's music. And there's no way to turn it off. And it's really annoying. Just FYI.

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I would like to ask for some good juju, please.
There are changes coming on at work (things I dare not blog about) and some good juju would help me considerably. I'm not in jeopardy of losing my job, but there are "changes". Just work with me, okay?

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The Ex and I spoke last weekend. It seems we will both be at Milo's first birthday party this Saturday, so we thought it would be a good idea to break the ice in advance, rather than in front of Milo. He's too young for that kind of drama.

He sounds good (the Ex, not Milo. Milo can't talk yet.) And happy. It was a nice chat. I'm looking forward to seeing him. We will have our significant others in tow as well, so maybe some positive juju on Saturday around 3pm would be a good idea, too. You know, if you're not doing anything.