Friday, January 18, 2008

Why Isn't This Week Over Yet?

Okay, all you astrology buffs. What the hell is up with the universe this week? Is Mars in retrograde? Is Neptune out of alignment? Maybe the moon has the sniffles? And once you tell me what's going on, can you tell me when it will be over?

This week has been crazy. Emails popping up constantly, my phone ringing constantly, people popping into my office constantly, me threatening to throw my stapler at people popping into my office constantly. It's like the earth is spinning at 10 times it's normal speed. I have acquired three hours of overtime this week. Me! Overtime! Oh, I'm not getting the overtime. No. I just leave early. Much better for my mental health than money.

I'm not one of those people who whines about "Oh, I was here until 7pm last night, and oh, I got here at 6:30am this morning, and oh, golly, I'm so important around here....". Even though, apparently, I am very important around here. Things would not get found. Why, just this morning, my boss called and asked where the fiscal year financial book for 06/07 was.

Me: "I don't know. You keep those in your office. Right above your head. In the binder I labeled for you - Fiscal Year O6/07."

Boss Lady: "Well, the binder isn't here. I have FY 07/08 and 05/06. No 06/07."

Me: "Have you checked in your closet?"

BL: "I need the statements for June 06 and it's not here. I have FY 07/08 and 05/06. No 06/07."

Me: "Have you checked in your closet?"

BL: "Do you have the binder in your office?"

Me: "No. I don't keep any of that stuff in my office. Have you maybe checked in your closet?"

BL: "I don't know where I would have put that binder. Can you come look, see if I'm overlooking it?"

Me: "Okay, I'll come check your closet."

When I go into her office, guess where she is?
In her closet.

BL: "Oh! Here it is. Did you put this in here?"

Maddening. And the questions that would not get answered?

Where's [Boss 1, Boss 2 or Boss 3]?
That thing is hanging out of the ceiling again. Could you fix that?
Do you know where the label maker is?
(It's in my office now. Because I'm tired of answering this question.)
What's the number for such-n-such?
The fax machine needs toner. Could you do that?
Where's that thing you gave to me yesterday?
Do we have any band aids?
(Did I mention I work in a clinic?)
Remember that woman in the meeting? What's her phone number?
Do we really get Monday off?
The bathroom floor is sticky. Could you call someone?
We have ants. Who would I call for that?
We're having a potluck. Could you reserve a conference room?
The copier won't work. Could you fix that?
Do you ever plan to clean out the fridge? - I kid you not.

My response to this one? "I wear pearls to work. No, I do not plan to clean out the fridge." However, I'm cleaning out the fridge this afternoon. Because, really, who else is going to do it?

They call it job security, but I don't know if that's a good thing anymore.

Oh, how I'm looking forward to curling up into bed tonight, blankets with the satin edge pulled up to my chin, alarm turned off (hell, maybe even the clock unplugged). I will fall asleep with a smile on my face and my soul at ease, knowing that I don't have a DAMN thing to do tomorrow. Or Sunday. Or Monday. I may lay in bed until noon. I may get up early and make breakfast. I may go for a walk. The possibilities are endless.

And I won't have to worry about anyone wanting anything from me.
Until Tuesday.

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