The Great Pumpkin

I'm watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" because that's how you kick off the autumn/winter season. With Peanuts.

And ya know, I don't think I would let my kid watch Charlie Brown. That Lucy is one mean bitch. Constantly cutting Linus down for wanting to sit in the pumpkin patch instead of trick-r-treating. How dare she! If he wants to sit outside all night, let him. But she just berates him through the whole show. And Charlie Brown is so happy that he got invited to the Halloween party until she tells him that it was a mistake.

"There are two lists. One for people who were invited to the party and one for people who weren't. You got put on the wrong list Charlie Brown!"

Is that the kind of message I really want my little one to pick up?

And even though I L O V E Looney Tunes, it's a very violent cartoon. After not watching it for years, I got the whole dvd set for my birthday and I was shocked. I think I'd let my kid watch those though. They're obviously cartoons. Now Charlie Brown? Yes, it's a cartoon, but they're kids, so they're more relate-able.

I have too much time on my hands, don't I?

Super Star

I just got a glowing review from my boss. Glowing!
(and then I come blog....if she only knew....)

And, apparently, I have matured very much over the past year. She said "Whatever you went through during the break up has made you a much stronger and mature person. We all see it." Wow. Just about made me cry.

I may even get a bump in position. I'm an Admin I right now. Admin Is only manage one calendar. I manage four. That sounds like an Admin II (or Admin IX) right now.

I'll keep you posted.....

Bussin' It

HA! Yeah, that didn't work.
Because I accidently hit "off" instead of "snooze" when my alarm went off this morning.

So I woke up at 7:45am, muttered "Ah, crap...." and called my boss. And since I wasn't rushing to be here by a certain time, I actually took my time selecting an outfit so I'm all gussied up in a skirt and my hair is all straight and pretty.

That hour and a half of extra sleep was good, too.
It's a nice day here in Raechelle-land.

Something is outta whack....

I just can't tell you how unhappy I am to be alive right now. My god, what a day. I actually had to stay late at work - quite rare - and my head hurts so bad right now I'm thinking of cancelling my walk and dinner with the gals. I won't, but I really, really want to.

I got eight emails for meeting requests today. Eight. That's a lot for one day. They just kept popping up, all in the span of a few hours. I went into my boss and said "Are you just trying to make my head explode? What's with all the meetings?!"

There's even a request to meet to discuss an upcoming meeting.
Are you freakin' kidding me? No wonder people can't get any work done. I sat in on just two meetings today and that was one too many.

My review is tomorrow, which I don't much care about, but at least I get to bring up the need for another assistant. I can handle the meetings and managing four calendars. Or I can handle the department maintenance crap. Or I can handle maintaining the 42 employee files. I cannot do all three. I need help. Or a helluva lot more money.

And I mean H E L L U V A.
And there's the tone for my day.

And then I stopped to get gas. $3.15. Holy shit, how long has it been since I got gas? Probably about $1.50 ago. Was that just overnight? I'm taking the bus tomorrow. If I can get up on time. Which I doubt. So I'll end up driving. Oh well, at least I tried.

Okay, off to walk with the gals. Then we're making dinner and watching Heroes. I don't think I'll stay for Heroes. I just want to go to bed and try again tomorrow.

Cleanin' - n - Shoppin'

One perk of learning to be alone with myself is that you, dear reader, get lots of updates that contain nothing of interest, whether you like it or not.

First, the apartment. I cleaned, cleaned, cleaned while the Patriots absolutely DEMOLISHED the Redskins. (I'm so sorry, you guys) I cleaned the floors, the windows, the bathroom, the kitchen. I finally took the last of the boxes down to storage, I hung a few more pictures and I even made a little nook in the corner for visiting shoes. I aspire to have a "shoes off" apartment, especially after the dog shit incident. I still need to hang my big mirror in my living room, but I need a manly man and a drill for that.

There will be updated photos coming soon!

And then, the shopping. I had awesome kharma today. New patent leather ballet slippers, which I had been looking allllllll over for because my little cheap ones were falling apart. But I couldn't find them for under $60. Until today. Goodwill. $7.99. A Starlings t-shirt (friends of mine), coupla sweaters, green cords, a red button down and new black skirt. Because you can never have too many black skirts. And it turn, I came home and cleaned out my closet. That's just the rule.

And I watched the Halloween episodes of Buffy.
And I baked the October birthday cake for work.
And I addressed my christmas cards, although I still need to go play in the snow and take a picture and actually write in the cards. But they're started!

So that's been my Sunday.
This week is shaping up to be quite busy. Tomorrow evening is walking and dinner with the gals, Tuesday is my hair appointment, Wednesday is laundry day, Thursday is.....something. I'm sure of it.....huh. And Friday is the Day of the Dead gathering.

Oh, and then I'm going to a wedding on Saturday. Ack.
You'll just have to wait to hear about that.

Glasses

What do we think of these glasses?

I think they're a bit big. They're a little bigger than my work glasses. I got these last year specifically to wear at home so I wouldn't have to keep transporting my other glasses.

I may have to start wearing them more often. I've started wearing them when I watch TV, but I'm finding that certain activities are getting difficult - painting my nails, threading a needle, reading the serial number off the inside of my phone. I think I've turned a corner. I now Need Glasses.

Ack.

Bartell Drugs

I love shopping at Bartell's. I think the "s" is wrong, but that's just how it comes out.

I walked down to Market Street this afternoon, just to get out and enjoy the fall weather. I went into the local kitchen shop and, of course, found all kinds of things I really NEED. But I refrained.

I visited the newest boutique shop that had a really great set of pajamas.....for $119. And they just were cotton. Baffling. I went into Don Willis furniture. That's where Steve and I were going to buy the custom made bed from last year. I wanted to see if they had any headboards, and they did, but I'd just be better off saving my money and buying a full bed one day.

I was drawn into LaTienda because they have a great Day of the Dead display near the door. McP is hosting another Day of the Dead gathering this year and I just had to see if there was anything we NEEDED for the party. I found a lot that would have been great (sugar skulls, skeleton paper plates, glass salt and pepper shakers with skeletons etched in them) but again, I refrained. I have a haircut Tuesday that I have to save up for.

And then I just wandered into Bartell's and ended up spending an hour in there. They just have all kinds of stuff to look at. And buy.

Exhibit A (note the homemade Halloween card from mom in the background. She's so sweet):

Oh, at $.79 each how could I not?! And you know I'm saving money because I debated over buying them for 15 minutes. So now I feel like I splurged and treated myself to some cutesy stuff. I also talked myself out of buying a box of Pillsbury brownie mix (on sale for $.99!!) and ice cream. I must have looked crazy because I was talking to myself like a child.

"You've been doing so good, you don't need ice cream. You'll be just fine without those brownies. You're going to have dessert Monday night at dinner and there's cake on Friday at work, so you'll be just fine. If you want dessert tonight, you can have hot chocolate. With whipped cream. But just a little...."

So I didn't bring home any sweets.

But I did bring home some incense. That whole line in the John Mayer song, "I'm gonna do some things you wouldn't let me do...." Well, one of those things is burn incense. So I'm burnin' incense. Feel the power....

New Phone, Friday Night, Dog Shit

First of all, would someone PLEASE call me? My new phone has not rung in a week, I am not joking. Cyn and McP have been out of town, and Shaun and I have been emailing, so I have no idea what my new phone sounds like. Texting is good too. I think that's a different tone. If I weren't in such a peaceful and zen like state of mind, I could see how I could take this no phone call thing personally, thus decending down into the pit of dispair, where I would lay in my brand new bed the entire weekend and wonder why no one loves me and what the hell did I do to the universe to deserve such cruelty.

But alas........I am very peaceful. I am loved. Ohmmmm

In other news, I think I'm getting better at this alone thing. It's Friday night and I've chosen to stay home. Alone. I was invited to a Halloween party, where I could have worn the Bloody Mary dress, which I absolutely love. But I chose to stay home. Cyn texted and wanted to meet up for a drink in Fremont, but I texted back and said I wasn't up for leaving the apartment. I made a lovely little dinner, I'm enjoying my second glass of chardonnay and I just watched Singles. It's one of my favorite movies. And it's even more entertaining now that I live in Seattle and can pinpoint where scenes were filmed. I'm very cool like that.

Let's see, what else is going on.

Oh, it's beautiful here again today. This is the view out my kitchen window:

Look at that blue sky! I actually couldn't wait to get home and go for a walk so I could watch the sunset again at Sunset Hill Park. Three walks this week! I'm at 136 now (I was 149 on June 9th - I do not fear the numbers.....) so I'm suddenly very motivated to walk more. I see results and boy howdy, I like what I see. And as long as we have this beautiful weather, walkin' ain't so hard. Now, when the rain and darkness sets in, I may have to rethink my strategy. But I can't stop the momentum now. The holidays are coming (which means lots and lots of chocolate covered cherries......lots of them) so I've got to keep on it.

And I've discovered Vitamin Water. Cyn turned me onto this stuff when I showed up at her apartment one morning, severly hungover and sad, unable to eat or even sit upright. She fed me toast with cheese and forced me to drink a big bottle of Vitamin Water. And it was yummy. Since I have this little problem of not drinking enough water, I thought I'd try keeping my fridge stocked with this stuff. And man, am I going through it. Normally in the car:

Ruby is not happy with me at all. She's filthy, she has dog shit on her pedals* and now empty, plastic water bottles in her backseat. I think I hear her asking "What is happening to you? Remember when you wouldn't let people with dirty shoes get in me? Remember when you'd freak out if you couldn't smell that new car smell? Now you're leaving garbage in my back seat because you're too lazy (loaded word) to carry it in the apartment?" Yeah, yeah, get off my back, Ruby. I've been busy. Just chill out. You'll get a bath soon.

*Dog shit - I got in my car Sunday, on my way to Shaun's, and about four minutes into the drive I felt a mud-like substance on my right shoe and on the gas pedal. My first instinct was to drag my shoe across my floormat to wipe my shoe off. As soon as I did that, the smell hit me. Crap. Literally. I pulled over to a 7-11 and after surveying the damage, threw the floormat away. There was no way I was going to shampoo that thing. I'll just buy new $20 Fred Meyer floor mats. I drug (dragged?) my shoe through the grass numerous times and took a wad of moistened paper towels to the gas and break pedals to clean the dog shit off but there's still some stuck in the grooves.

A note to dog owners, from a non-dog owner: I don't own a dog for a reason. I don't like the smell of dog shit, and I don't like dealing with dog shit. Most Seattle dog owners are very responsible and clean up after their pooch. Good on ya! But one dog owner, who walks their (I'm guessing) very large dog down 56th, is not so responsible. And to that person, I would like to say, "You freakin' suck." And you owe me money for my floor mat that is now in a trash can at 7-11 with dog shit on it.

But I am at peace and zen-like on this lovely evening, so we don't need to dwell on such negative topics.

Happy weekend to you!

Music Makes It All Better

John Mayer is currently the soundtrack of my life. I downloaded all seven albums that iTunes had, which makes for 42 songs. And it's like some of the songs were written just for me, just for this period of time in my life.

Comfortable - "Our love was comfortable, so broken in....."

I couldn't listen to this song without crying for three months. I don't think Steve has even heard it, but it was just perfect. After the bottom of the barrel night at Lock & Keel, I can now listen to this song without crying. That's sayin' something.

Something's Missing - "I'm not alone, I wish I was, cause then I'd know, I'm down because..."

Life is great, but still......something's missing.....

In Repair - "I'm in repair, I'm not together, but I'm getting there..."

No comment necessary.

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - "Don't you think we oughta know by now, Don't you think we should have learned somehow?"

Clinging to love when you're just going down in flames....ack.

Daughters - "Fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do"

Makes me want babies. Dunno know why.

Good Love is on the Way - "I been lonely but I know I'll be okay, Good love is on the way"

Hope. Possibility. Optimism. Yes, life has been suckin' but good love is on the way.

Out of My Mind - "I'm putting you baby, I'm putting you right out of my mind"

Very bluesy. Bellyrubbin' music. A song written for a break up. Grrr.

I'm Gonna Find Another You - "I'm gonna do some things, you wouldn't let me do, I'm gonna find another you"

Not that I didn't do things because I couldn't. It's just a nice yeah-I-can-do-whatever-the-hell-I-want-baby kind of line.

I have a whole playlist on my iPod that is Inspirational Break Up Music. I listen to it when I need to be reminded that this is all a good thing. Perks me up.

Proof That I Had Mums

And because I'm secure enough in my beauty these days to show you pictures from high school. Well, pictures of pictures from high school. I don't have a scanner, so you'll have to pardon the quality.

Freshman year. A junior asked me to homecoming. Afterwards we went to his friend's house and watched a movie. And he tried to kiss me and I freaked out on him. Mom and dad would have proud. And yes, even my bangs were permed. I can't count the number of times the word "poodle" was used that year. What the hell was I thinking? And why didn't I buy him a garter?

Sophomore year. I was dating the back up quarterback of the football team, also a sophomore. We were cool. Even with the bolo. Note his lovely garter.

Junior year. I took a freshman. I had gotten my braces off, my skin had cleared up. Life was looking up.

My friend here will kill me, but I love this photo. She had a triple mum. Her man liked her more. Or he had more money than my freshman.

And senior year. No mum that year. No, no....too mature for that stuff. Just a classy little corsage. I asked Jeff, who had graduated....two years before me? He lived in my neighborhood and was worshipped by the all the girls. And everyone was shocked that he showed up with me. I remember we went to Red Lobster beforehand and I had a virgin daiquiri. A wild night, indeed. What on earth possessed me to ask him? I can't remember.......

Have You Ever?

Have you every been so happy and at peace that you just spontaneously cry?

It was the weirdest thing. I went for a walk this evening, along my usual route - up 34th to Sunset Hill Park that overlooks Shilshole Marina and the Olympic Mountains. On the way up there, I passed a ton of people walking dogs and pushing strollers. It was about 68 degrees and there were just a few wispy clouds in the deep, blue sky. The leaves on the trees were bright red and yellow and they were blowing around in the breeze.

When I turned the corner to face the park, the sight was breathtaking. The sun was starting to go down. The sky was red and the mountains were backlit. And there were probably 40 people just hanging out. Some had telescopes, some had cameras, some were on blankets having a picnic, some were taking a break from their run and stretching on the grass. And some were just standing there, arms crossed, smiles on their faces. They were all just watching the sunset.

At that very moment, life was just beautiful. There was no war, there were no fires, no one had a broken heart and no one was sick. We were all just........here.

And I cried.

Then I walked all the way home with big smile on my face.

My New Favorite Pastime

I spent a half hour last night putting on clothes that, just mere months ago, were too tight. And holy crap, I look good in them now. My pink and black zigzaggy dress that I wore to Lisa's bachelorette party last year - FANTASTIC! My white, eyehook, low cut blouse - HOT STUFF!

One of these days there will be a gathering of somesort and I'll have a recent picture to post. Then you'll see..........

Have You Ever?

So, I've decided to start a column/topic/theme post. It just hit me.

I shall call it: Have You Ever.....
Yes, it sounds like a high school drinking game, but sometimes these things just pop into my head and I really want to share them but I need to categorize them in some way.

So here we go! The first......

Have You Ever?

Have you ever been doing something, and in the midst of doing this thing, your mind wanders away and you think about something else that makes you really happy or really anxious, but then a split second later, you can't remember why you feel happy or anxious? It's just a fleeting thought....

I was just reading TVSquad and I came across a list of dvds that are being released today and one of them was The L Word. I've gotten through the first two seasons and they're just releasing the fourth season today. And I had a momentary panic - oh no, I haven't even gotten through the third season! Now there's a fourth?! I've got to rent the third season tonight and get through that so I can rent the fourth!

Irrational, yes, I know that. I am under no deadline to watch this tv show. But for some reason, my brain hijacked my rational thinking and purposely got it all worked up over nothing. My brain is just evil like that.

I've calmed down now, in case you're wondering. I may still go rent the third season after my walk. Because now it's on my mind.

Weekend Update

I really don't have anything interesting to report today. But I know how some of you just live for this blog, so here's an update, nonetheless.

I went to the ThorNton Creek show Friday night. Steve is out of town and didn't play with them, so I decided I'd stayed away long enough. It was a good show, and it was nice to see all the Millers again. Not sure if they were exactly "happy" to see me, but everyone was polite to everyone so it seemed okay. The only moment of "oh-crap-I-shouldn't-have-come-here" was when they played Morpheus and MJ said "This is for Raechelle....." and I cried. It's a pretty song. And it brought back a lot of good memories.

Saturday, I shopped all day. New underwear, a curtain rod extender, a pretty red scarf, clothes hangers, colored key covers. Fun stuff. I also got a new cell phone. Which was a colossal pain in the ass. It should have only taken 15 minutes or so, but I was at Car Toys for an hour because the Boy was either stoned or very infatuated with me. He was bumbling around like one of the Three Stooges. He'd print out something write on it, realize he'd written in the wrong area, laugh about it, then have to print it all over again. He felt the need to explain the absolute simplest things to me ("Here's how you turn it on, and here's how you dial a number....") and my lack of interest in him didn't seem to be a deterrent at all. I tell ya, it's hell being so cute.

When I finally left there, my mood was quite sour. And now I'm not sure I even like this new phone. I'll have to buy a new headset because my headset isn't compatible and I hate every ring tone on it so I need to figure out how to download those. The phone was free, but it's going to cost me $100 just to get it how I like it.

That evening, I ventured over the The Eastside for a birthday dinner for a co-worker. Home and in bed by midnight.

Sunday, I hung out at Shaun's and did some laundry while I watched the Seahawks FINALLY PLAY SOME FOOTBALL!! It's about damn time! Even Shaun, the ultimate football curmudgeon, watched most of the game with me. I didn't dare shoot my mouth off last week about the Rams not having won a game yet and we should be able to beat them. No sir. That bit me in the ass with the Saints. But poor Bulger couldn't do squat. He was out for the last two games because he was injured, but it looked like maybe he still wasn't ready to play yesterday. I read that he felt he needed to get in there and help his team, but he didn't seem to really help that much.

And after I left Shaun's I went by a *different* Car Toys to see about exchanging my phone. And the guy had absolutely no interest in my whatsoever. I ended up not exchanging my phone, because it seems that my headset is obsolete now and I won't be able to find a compatible phone at all. And the guy told me about a little hard drive that goes into my phone so I can download ringtones on it ("they're only, like, $10.....") and the little converter where the little harddrive goes in one end and the other end plugs into the USB port on the computer ("and these are only, like, $20.....") so it may not be that expensive after all. Now I just need to find a headset. Because the majority of the conversations I have with my parents are when I'm driving great distances in a lot of traffic. I need my headset.

All and all, in and out in 10 minutes.

And I'm in a damn good mood today. I'm choosing not to analyze why. I woke up happy, which is rare, and so far no one has pissed me off today. Could this be a new way of life for Raechelle? Let's not get ahead of ourselves......We'll just have to see how long this lasts.

Those Crazy Irishmen

The Pogues show was much fun. I think it would have been more fun had I been completely trashed like the rest of the crowd, but since I did that last Friday night, I decided to stay relatively sober on this night.

We met up at Fado's beforehand for some irish grub, then walked down to the venue. William Elliott Whitmore opened, who is just fantastic. I saw him at the Tractor Tavern last month, which was much better show because the Tractor was is a lot smaller than the Showbox.

Anyway, we stood up and back in the bar area, rather than down on the main floor with the crowd. Which was just fine with me. We still had a great view, we still danced around, we just didn't have to mosh with the sweaty, drunk guys.

The most entertaining part of the show was watching the stage hands lead Shane McGowan onto the stage and place him in front of the mic. He was already trashed before the show and he smoke and drank for the duration. And through all the three encores. The old school Pogues fans said they were surprised he was even still alive. And apparently, he has no teeth. But his "singing" was still dead on and he didn't seem to forget any of the lyrics. He tried to banter between songs, but you couldn't understand a word he said. After the final encore, and they started wandering off stage, a band member said into the mic - "Thanks for your understanding." Which is weird as I type it, but at the time I took it to mean, yes, we know he's a handful. Thanks for coming out anyway.

All in all, it was still a good show with great music. But a very late night.
So I went into work at 10am Friday. Not a bad Friday at all.

The Pogues

So, I'm going to see the Pogues tonight with the Sheans.
This is the lead singer, Shane McGowan:

Needless to say, we're going to an irish pub first to get liquored up real good. Apparently that's what you do for a Pogues show.

Wish me luck......

Nervous Energy or Neurotic?

I was printing photos a couple of nights ago and while the printer was going, I got antsy. So I got up, wandered into the kitchen and thought, I could wash up those few dishes real quick..... So I did, and just like I always do when I wash dishes, I wiped down the counter and the stovetop (force of habit....I hadn't used the stove in a week). As I was wiping down the stove, I noticed the burner pans were a bit dirty. My first thought was "What a crappy move in cleaning crew!" but then I thought, oh it'll just take a few minutes to take those out, wipe them down and put them back.

So I got the burner pans out, started to wipe them down, then heard that the printer had stopped. I went in, got the completed pictures out, started a new batch of photos printing..........and noticed that my desk was dusty. So I got the swiffer out and started dusting the desk. I had to move things (because I'm thorough like that) and in the process I found some ponytail holders, so I took those in the bathroom.

Where I noticed all of the hair on the bathroom floor. So I got out my little handheld broom and dustpan that I keep behind the toilet for just such an occasion and started sweeping up the hair. As I got to the corner, by the door, I noticed the ledges on the door were dusty, so I got up, got a rag, wetted it down and wiped off the ledges, which led to wiping off the windowcill, which led to wiping any and all surfaces. Then I saw my scissors in the basket on the back of the toilet (I had trimmed my bangs a few mornings ago) so I took them out to the desk, where the photos had finished printing.

I started a new batch of photos, then took my empty glass into the kitchen to get more water and saw the burner pans in the sink. I thought, "What the hell?" then remembered I was cleaning them. So I finished up the burner pans, put them back and went in the bathroom to pee, where I saw my wet rag in the sink, the broom and the dust pan on the floor and a pile of hair. And then remembered I had been sweeping the floor.

My question is, should I be concerned?

Random Thoughts

Did I mention I bought my plane ticket home for christmas? I can't remember. I *finally* got my time approved (after I wrote out my resignation later and signed it, just in case it came to that) so I get the whole week of christmas off. Yay!

I almost bought an orange chair from Goodwill ($10!) for the living room last night. It was comfy and relatively unscathed. There were a couple of dirty patches but Kim bought me a steam cleaner for my birthday so I could have steam cleaned it. I was just about to go up to the front and tell them to load it up for me when I had a thought.....maybe I just smell it. See if it's musty, or if there were pets. And one quick smell was all it took. Apparently, it was at Goodwill for a reason. And the owner had a cat that wasn't litterbox trained. So, no chair. But I did buy a little coffee canister and two shirts.

I'm sitting here, eating my lunch (Amy's frozen teriyaki bowl), and I'm already thinking it's not going to be enough and what can I buy from the Bistro to supplement this. That's probably not good, is it?

I've had other random thoughts lately, but they're not coming to me right now. I need to start jotting these things down. I've had to starting making lists of things I need from the store because I just can't remember anything these days. Maybe my mind is enjoying not being responsible for a two people anymore so it's taking a bit of a vacation. I don't leave the house without my little list now. Colored key covers so I can distinquish my building key from my apartment key. A 2008 calender that will fit in my purse so I can keep my social calendar with me at all times. A staple gun so I can staple the 100 ft phone cord to the baseboards and the doorway trim because it's just resting there now and I know I'm going to trip on it. Things like that.

Where was I?
Oh, yes.

I can't think of any of my other random thoughts right now. Sorry.

Worst Game Yet

Oh, you Seahawks.

You know I support my team regardless of how they're doing. But come on. Really? The plays that were called were just flat out stupid. Even Maddon and Michaels were wondering what the hell Holmgren was thinking. And Alexander? Oh, I've just had it with him. And I've almost had it with Hasselbeck. I'm not going to rip him to shreds, but the boy needs to learn to keep his cool. You can just spot the moment he freaks out. We can't have a quarterback freakin' out all the time. Dude, be a leader. Keep your wits about you. Quit throwing hail marys at every play. No one is there to catch it. Chill out!

Anyway. I'll still support my team. I'll still use my coasters. But I'm not getting my hopes up about a championship of any kind this year. I just don't see it happening.

*sniff*

On The Mend

It has finally hit me that the Lock & Keel is not the place to go when I'm sad. And lookin' cute. The jack-n-cokes were endless Friday night, and unfortunately it was a long night. I had a friend with me, but she left early. At least one of the regulars was kind enough to walk me home.

Needless to say, Saturday was a bit rough. The saddness that had been looming, combined with the hangover, equaled crying on the phone to mom and dad for over an hour from bed. But mom is good at cheering up by telling me what she bought everyone for christmas and what all of their neighbors are up to. And then that evening, I hung out with my Sheauns, which always makes things better. They let me cry and be a girl without ridiculing me.

And then Sunday, life started looking much better. I talked with mom again, my brother called (which surprised the hell out of me) and I visited Kim-n-Tim-n-Milo. After I left there, I did some boot shopping, which was quite disappointing because the boots at Shoe Pavillion, that very much resembled these (from Zappos), looked cheap. So I may splurge and buy the Zappo ones. Then back home in time for the Seahawks game (if you can even call what they did on the field a "game").

And today, even though the SAD season up here has officially begun, I feel pretty good. I think I bottomed out, and now I'm working my way back up. At least for a while. I'm sure I'll fall back down again, but hopefully it won't be anytime soon. If the waves get farther and farther apart, I that must mean I'm doing better, right?

Happy Friday

One of my most favoritist blogs ever is planetdan.

I googled "jazz hands" years (no, I don't know why....) and found it, now it's on my list of things to check each morning. I've even had dreams about dan. And he knows this, so it's not a creepy secret stalking kind of thing.

Anywho, after a couple of days of post-break up saddenss, today's planetdan post is very, very much appreciated. My eyes are still tearing up. And this time it's in a good way.

Enjoy.

Second Trigger

These Steve triggers are funny things.
Like, being in the same oral surgeon's office where I had my wisdom teeth out.

In 2001, I think it was the summer, I had all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. Steve volunteered (after a mere 6 months or so of dating) to shuttle me to and from. I was an absolute wreck the week before because they were going to have to sedate me with an IV.

Are you aware of my fear of IVs? Oh, I become a raving lunatic. Actually, anything that has to do with the center of my elbows or the underside of my wrists sets me into a sweaty panic. Giving blood? Oh hell no. HELL NO.

So in the consultation beforehand, the doctor mentioned IV and I started sweating and crying and just freaked out. He sensed my unease and offered to put the IV in the back of my hand. Not great, but much, much better. He also wrote me a prescription for Valium to take prior to going in the morning of the surgery.

The morning of, I took my Valium, Steve picked me up and off to the oral butcher we went. (Thanks to Shaun for such a perfect title.) I was somewhat calm until the doctor, while pulling out my right arm, informed me that they couldn't find a good vein in the back of the hand so they were going to have to put the IV in the center of my elbow.

And I honestly cannot type that without sweating.

So now, I'm in a full on panic attack and I'm crying and pleading and wailing. Otis, this very large, bald, black nurse (who later got cookies from me as an apology for being so difficult) is holding my left hand, trying to soothe me and talking very calming about something that he thinks will take my mind off of the fact I'm getting a needle right where I don't want it. Then there was the nitrous mask over my face and then......nothing.

I woke up in the recovery room, with gauze in my mouth, still crying and Steve holding my hand and stroking my hair. I kept saying "Look at my arm.....look at my arm...." so he could see that they didn't not give me the IV in my hand like they said they would, but in, of all place, my arm!

He looked.
And he got pissed.

He started to get up to go yell at someone, but I pulled him back down and said no, they just did what they had to do. I think he actually talked to the nurse about it, but I don't remember anything after that. However, I'm told that when the nurse came in to ask how I was, I said "Peachy" which was apparently very funny to everyone.

I spent the rest of the day sleeping, then the next day on Steve's couch, watching baseball while he would wake me every now and then to tell me to flip over so he could put frozen peas on my cheeks.

Anyway, I cried a lot yesterday.
Who knew?

Grocery Shopping

I finally went grocery shopping last night. First time since I moved in.

I had stopped by the store occasionally and spent $20 here and $30 there, but I still hadn't done a Big Shopping Trip. I had no sugar, no soy patties, no pasta, no veggie broth, no staples. But ooh boy am I stocked up now. I won't have to buy food again for a month or more. Now, if I want to actually cook dinner for someone, I'll have to go get fresh veggies. I didn't buy any because I didn't want them to go to waste, and they would have because I'm not really eating anything in the evenings.

Except last night.

I was so excited to have my pick for dinner, that I asserted my independence and had tortilla chips with chilie con caso. That's it. And it was yummy.

I'm having dinner with Shaun tonight so there will be an actual meal. That will get me back on the right track.

Texas Homecomings

Are you familiar with a homecoming mum?

The boys would buy their date a mum for the homecoming football games. I cannot convey to you how big of a deal this was. The flower stores would just be inundated with orders and the girls would just sweat and panic every year - "Is he going to buy me a mum?! Oh my god, I have to have a mum!" The mums had fake flowers, bells, charms, names on the ribbons and sometimes, like the photo above, a stuffed animial (that one was considered a "primo" mum). And the girls, in turn, would give the boys these garters that had ribbons and bells on the them that the boys wore on their biceps.

And the bigger the mum, the more your boy liked you. Sad, but true. My biggest mum was a triple - three, big fake flowers, that took the shape of a heart. Yes, Dennis Something-er-other really, really liked me. The first couple of years of middle school, before dates or boyfriends, mom would buy me a mum just so I'd have one. It was a small, single flower with two ribbons. Everyone knew my mom bought it for me, but there were some girls who didn't have a mum at all. So, I still felt pretty damn special.

At our high school reunion, in 2003, Julie's mom bought her a mum, since our reunion was during homecoming weekend. We all had a good laugh at that. And I can say that because Julie's family doesn't read this blog.

Note the single flower. Julie's mom didn't love her as much as Dennis loved me.

I just googled "homecoming mums" and there are actual websites for them. And holy crap, they're expensive! I don't remember how much we paid back in 1990 for them, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't anywhere around $100.

Domestic Goddess

Proof that I can sew.
And that I don't like being photographed while I'm doing it.

The Happy Bridesmaid 2002

I was a bridesmaid in my friend Julie's wedding back in 2002. What was she thinking?!

From the photos, I wasn't too happy about it.

Here I am, before the wedding, in the suite, while Julie is getting ready and the photographer is snapping candid shots. My feet hurt from standing around so I squated in the corner. The photographer found me very entertaining.

Here I am, after the ceremony, waiting for the photographer to finish taking photos so I can go get a drink.

Steve took this shot during the reception. Yes, I believe that *is* saracasm on my face.

Ah, a happy moment. I sang "You Belong To Me" at the reception. Julie and her family are my biggest fans.

That fantabulous up-do took three and a half hours to accomplish. And that night, after the wedding, I took roughly 48 bobby pins out of my head. The result:

I ended up getting out of bed at around 4am to wash my hair because the smell of hairspray was making me sick.

Porn Star

I've had some spare time on my hands so I'm going back through all of my old digital photos and organizing them into folders. Yes, it's my idea of fun. And I've run across some that crack me up, so I wanted to share.

I love this photo.

Steve and I flew to Vegas in 2004 to surprise mom and dad who were spending christmas there with my their best friends. Ah, my parents. Spending christmas in Vegas. Perfect.

We got there Friday afternoon and soon discovered that Vegas was quite boring if you were sober. So we spent all day Saturday at the nickel slots, drinking for free. Vegas was much more entertaining that way. And I got to try out my porn star persona.

Change O' Plans

So I ended up going over to Cyn's Friday night. She wasn't going out until 10:00ish, so we had a couple of glasses of wine and caught up until then.

And the rest of the weekend was just lazy. I ordered in thai food last night - my first delivery! Watched a movie and crashed early.

And I watched the pathetic Seahawks game today. Oh god. A shut out? Really? By the Steelers? Ack. I say, get rid of Alexander. Too much money, not enough big plays. Yeah, let me be a manager....

Ah, Friday

I have chosen to stay home this evening. Cyn is partying it up on Capitol Hill and asked me to join her, but that just sound like too much effort for me. Maybe if she makes to Ballard, I'll meet up with her.


In the meantime, I'm sitting here, re-reading three years worth of emails between me and Steve. And I'm laughing my ass off at some of the conversations and one liners.


Oh, wait Cyn calls......

Suddenly It's Christmas

I went to JC Penny's last night, and when I walked in, the first thing I saw was a christmas tree. Right beside the halloween stuff.

It's October! What happen to the fall stuff? The pumpkins, the scarecrows, the orange, green and red? Didn't stores used to wait until at least November to put out the christmas stuff? I was almost unhappy to see the pretty lights and the fake santas. And that makes me sad. Because I absolutely L O V E the holiday season.

However, it reminded me of one of my favorite christmas songs. I couldn't find any video of it being performed and I don't know how to put music on here - I'm working on it. And even though you can't hear the tune, the lyrics are fabulous:

Suddenly, It’s Christmas
by Loudon Wainwright III
(copied from LyricsPlayground.com)

Suddenly, it’s Christmas
Right after Hallowe'en
Forget about Thanksgiving
It's just a buffet in between
There's lights and tinsel in the windows
They're stocking up the shelves
Santa's slaving at the North Pole
In his sweatshop full of elves

There's got to be a build-up
To the day that Christ was born
The halls are decked with pumpkins
And the ears of Indian corn
Dragging through the falling leaves
In a one-horse open sleigh
Suddenly, it’s Christmas
Seven weeks before the day

Suddenly, it’s Christmas
The longest holiday
When they say "Season's Greetings"
They mean just what they say
It's a season, it's a marathon,
Retail eternity
It's not over till it's over
And you throw away the tree

Outside it's positively balmy,
In the air nary a nip
Suddenly, it’s Christmas
Unbuttoned and unzipped
Yes, they're working overtime
Santa's little runts
Christmas comes but once a year
And goes on for two months

Christmas carols in December and November, too
It's no wonder we're depressed
When the whole thing is through
Finally it's January
Let's sing "Auld Lang Syne"
But here comes another heartache
Shaped like a Valentine

Suddenly, it’s Christmas
The longest holiday
The season is upon us
A pox, it won't go away
It's a season, it's a marathon,
Retail eternity
It's not over till it's over
And you throw away the tree

No, it's not over till it's over
And you throw away the tree
It's still not over till it's over
And you throw away the tree

The Storm Has Passed

Apparently something was just out of alignment last week, because this week is proving to be much more.....tolerable. While I'm still running at break-neck speed at work, my mood is relatively chipper and much less angry. I bet my lovely weekend helped a little.

I really don't have anything major to report. No cute, little anecdotes to share. I'm not blue, so I don't need to get mushy and sappy about life and being alone and waah. Let's see....what can I tell you?

My smaller jeans that I bought are now too big and I must buy even smaller jeans. That's always nice.

I put curtains up in the living room. That softens the place a bit. I still need to get stuff up on the walls.

It occurs me, as I scarf down lunch, that I haven't eaten dinner in two days. I get sidetracked and then end up going to bed. That's probably the reason for the smaller jeans. So, in response, I've emailed a friend about having dinner tonight.

Cyn's been gone for eight days and I miss her terribly. She'll be back tomorrow so I'm thinking we'll party it up this weekend.

I'm going to the Pogues concert in a couple of weeks with my irish Sheans. There may have to be whiskey and Guiness beforehand.

I still have not bought a plane ticket for christmas because my boss still has not approved my time off request. That's on my list of things to tackle today.

I think you're all caught up now.