Attention All Cow Eaters

I'm not judgy. You know that, right? I don't preach my beliefs in hopes that you will change your ways. I only do that to my mother. So, this post is to merely inform you. Really. I'm no activist.

I'm also not a vegetarian. I used to call myself a "sympathetic vegetarian" when I was with Steve. I didn't cook meat because Steve didn't eat meat. I would order vegetarian dishes when we went out so that we could share. Oh, I still had my moments when I just needed meat. Every girl does.

But something tells me I will never eat a cow again. Ever. Because of this news article.

WASHINGTON — The agriculture secretary on Thursday resisted calls at a Senate hearing for a complete ban on so-called downer cattle — those unable to walk — from entering the food supply.

Some people seem to think that it's okay to eat the meat of a cow that is so sick it cannot stand or walk. Um, if the cow is sick, and then you eat it's meat, that means you're eating it's sickness, right?

There are stories about chickens and pigs too, but I'm not deterred just yet. And again, I'm not preaching, so this post is not How To Pursuade People To Stop Eating Meat (no mean comments, please). I am merely informing you that the government says it's okay to sell you meat from sick cows.

Who wants a salad?

Confessions Of A Curious Mind

Guess what?
I've been keeping a secret. Actually, a few secrets, but only one that I'm ready to fess up to.

Ready?

I joined Match.com a few weeks ago.
I KNOW!

Mostly out of curiosity. Not the least little bit out of desperation. I am not desperate.

And I always thought online dating sites were for desperate women. Until one of my girlfriends (who will remain nameless) joined eHarmony a while back. I thought, "She's not desperate. Why the hell would she do that?!" And then she explained why. She wanted the distraction. She wanted to meet new people. And let's face it, we're too old to be picking up guys in bars.

So she had a couple of dates, nothing big. And I figured I really had nothing to lose by signing up and surfing around.

[Here's where mom and dad scream "YOU DIDN'T GIVE ANYONE YOUR ADDRESS, DID YOU?! NO ONE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE, RIGHT?? No, no one has my address.]

And I have to say, it's been an intersting experience. I haven't met anyone in person, only emails and a couple of phone calls. I've been winked at by some freaky men (one of which lives in New Zealand. Talk about expensive dates!) and gotten some emails that read like form letters - "Hi. I like your profile. We have many things in common. If you would like to meet me, please call me. 999-999-9999. Thank you, [name]". Actually, I got the same email from the same guy twice. Guess he hasn't figured out a system yet to keep the ladies straight.

I'm not looking for a boyfriend, and don't even really know if I could bring myself to go out to dinner with a perfect stranger, but again, I have all of this single time on my hands, so I might as well have fun with it. I feel like it's research. I am a journalist and it's my duty to try out this stuff and report back to you. I take my job very seriously.

So a few notes about what I've learned so far:

Never make plans with someone you've haven't spoken to on the phone.
Yes, they're funny in their emails. They have good grammar and know how to punctuate. They're perfect on paper. Then you hear their voice and the first thing that comes to mind is "axe murderer". Crap. Too late to just hang up the phone. That would be rude. So you send an email two days later saying "Um, I'm going to have to cancel that plan. Something just isn't sitting right with me, maybe I'm not ready to actually meet people. So sorry. Bu-bye."

Men who list "assertiveness" as a turn-on are lying.
On Match you can see who looks at your profile. So if someone looks at my profile, and I think they're cute, I'll send them a quick couple sentence email. Casual, funny, simple.

I've emailed seven men, all of which had listed assertiveness from a woman a turn-on. And not one of them has responded. Now, I'm not naive - it could just be that they thought I was pretty and were hoping for some bikini pics (of which there are none, thankyouverymuch). But come on, not one of those seven guys found me even remotely interesting enough to email back? Really? Hmph.

It's okay to say "Not Interested".
Match has this fabulous little feature. It's a link that says "Not Interested". You click the link and this message pops up that says "We've let loppy425 [or whatever stupid name he's chosen] you're not interested." Why, thank you so much, Match! Whew! Now I don't have to email him and say, "Um, is that your ex-wife in the photo with you on the beach? Why would you do that?" Yes, really. Which leads me to....

Some people are just stupid.
Yes, you knew this. But it just blows my mind when they're so obviously stupid. Even with the website itself trying to coach them.

When you upload photos, Match has these little tips. One of which is don't use photos with someone of the opposite sex in them, unless it's obviously a group event or something. It turns your potential Match off immediately. And boy howdy, does it ever. One guy emailed me and was very nice. Seemed normal (they all do for the first 10 seconds). Divorced. So, I went to his profile and looked at his pictures. There's a photo of him, in a nice white button down shirt, with a lei around his neck, at sunset, with a very attractive woman, lei around her neck, and she's in a white dress.

Um. Sister? Best friend? Step-mother?
I don't think so.

How in the hell are you expecting to meet women when you've posted a photo of you and your now ex-wife at what appears to be your tropical wedding?! And if it's not your ex-wife at what appears to be your tropical wedding, I already have it in my head that it is and thus, have quickly clicked that fabulous "Not Interested" link. I could have emailed him back asking him point blank what he was thinking, but why? The link is so much easier.

Don't fall for the guy with the rock hard body.
Because what kind of guy, with a rock hard body, actually has the gall to post a picture of said rock hard body on a dating site? My gut tells me he probably will not be someone I want to spend an evening with......well........um. Okay, maybe an evening, but that's ALL and it's too much of a hassel to avoid their calls afterwards.

Where was I?

Ah yes. The rock hard body guy. I don't email these guys. I just save their photo and use it as my desktop photo.

Oh, I kid.
Kinda.

I apparently have a type.
Who knew? Not many people know about Match. Couple of girlfriends. And my folks (I tell them this stuff so that I can hear my dad say, "Your daughter is NUTS!"). I show my girlfriends pics of guys I think are cute, or that I've emailed. And they all agree that I have a type. Curly hair, tall (6'0 and up is best), slender. And if there's a beard, oh HELLO!

But they also have to be clever in their writing. If I find myself chuckling when I read their profile, they get big points. But some are so drab. "I'm very intelligent and my friends say I'm a nice guy. I guess I'm just looking for someone to connect with and have a good time with. My interests include reading, watching films, and spending time with friends."

*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

Wha...? Did you say something?

Have you seen Singles? One of my very quotes from that movie is from a guy who has responded to Debbie Hunt's video for a dating service. They're showing clips of the guys, and one of them is uber creepy, and he just says, "I am very, very, very lonely."

I've seen a few of those on Match. And they keep looking at my profile. But I have been talking to a nice boy (yes, boy - 27) who just moved here a few months ago from Beaumont, Texas and plays guitar. So we talk about cowboy chords and Sonic. I do love their cherrylimades. There's been talk of maybe meeting for coffee, but no plan yet.

So when my membership is up in a couple of weeks, I think I'll just let it expire. I can say been there, done that. Woohoo.

And thus, another thrilling adventure that I share with you, dear reader.
I wonder what's next?

Why I Love Craigslist

Something is for sale in this picture.
Can you guess what it is?

A. The prom dress
B. The chair
C. The curtains
D. The girl

Now, take a minute. Really think about it before you just look at the answer.

Ready?

The curtains. The curtains are for sale. This is the best picture they could find.

I love craigslist. Love it!

FYI, My Birthday is April 14

I totally feel for this guy. No one calls him on his birthday and he flips out. I get that. It hurts. My grandma used to send me a birthday card every year with a $10 bill in it. The first year she forgot (I think I was in my mid 20s) I was devastated.

Remember, I'm quite fragile this year. You could be reading about me in your local Weird News the week of April 14th.

I'm just sayin'.......

A Bento Box Really Does Make It All Better

I've been a bit cranky today. Not sure why. I was on freakin' cloud 9 yesterday so I don't know what happened overnight to bring me down. More emotional rollercoaster crap, I guess. Or just one of the perks of being a woman. I love my uterus!

Anywho, my friend Nichole (little miss lives all the way out in Covington) and I went to World Wrapps for lunch and of course I had to get the bento box. Cause a bento box makes it all better. And I get a fortune cookie! If you remember, dear reader, WW's fortune cookies can bring me to tears.

As did today's fortune:

"You could make a name for yourself in the field of medicine."

[pause for audience laughter]

I wonder if they meant psychology?
Cause that's more believable.

Hittin' The Nail On Head

I left a comment on Crazy Aunt Purl's blog saying if she started a church, I would be there bright and early every Sunday morning. And you know how I hate getting up early.

Her most recent post, her Brick Wall Theory, is dead on. I would say she needs to write a book, but she's already done that.

She needs to write another book.

Warning! Baby Meter at 124%

Jamie and I walked over to one of the other cafeterias for lunch and seated next to us was one of the most BEAUTIFUL BABIES EVER PRODUCED.

Swear To Gawd.

Black, curly hair and these huge blue eyes. He had just woken up and was in that clingy-bury-his-face-in-his-mom's-chest kinda mood. I looked at Jamie and sighed, "Yeah, I could spit one of those out." My ovaries are still screaming.

If you would like to apply to be my baby's daddy, please click the Email Me! link to the side. A picture of yourself will speed up the interview process.

My One And Only Political Post (maybe....)

A few thoughts on politics, since I'm actually getting into it this year.

First, when will Ralph Nader just disappear? He is officially running for president, AGAIN. A mere 10 months before the election. Why does he keep doing this? Does he really think he has a chance? Does he realize that the votes that are going to him, could actually be put to good use? Crap.

Second, who the hell is this Tom Buffenbarger guy? I see the word "buffoon" when I read his last name. Coincidence? And is Hillary happy that he's on her side? I would be mortified if this jackass got up and tried to rally my supporters by blatantly insulting a very large part of the population. What a way to inspire and encourage people to vote and make changes. Insult them and tell them they're stupid for not voting for Hillary! As if her campaign wasn't suffering enough right now. I don't get very passionate about politics, but seeing this video clip on the news just made my mouth just fall open. What the hell was he thinking? And the people (the Democrats!) who stood behind him and cheered? And supported his just flat out mean rant? What the hell?

*sigh*

It's like we have two different Democratic parties now - Optimist And Naive, and Old School And Mean. It's very sad. As if two different parties wasn't messy enough.

And, Barak Obama is a christian, despite the rumors.

A Thrilling Day Here In Raechelle-land

Actually, not so much. I slept until 12:30pm, and haven't stepped outside of my apartment all day. Guess being such a wild gal Friday night really took it out of me.

I did watch the Oscars, though.

And the big thrill of the Oscars was first, seeing that Glen Hansard's and Markéta Irglová's song Falling Slowly, from the movie "Once", was nominated for Song of the Year, and then actually watching them WIN the Oscar, beating out those big ass productions from the movie Enchanted. I had goosebumps.

Why does this thrill me so?

A backstory:

Mic Christopher and Glen Hansard were best friends way back when in Dublin. Mic is the son of McP's parents' best friends. Ya follow me? McP was raised for a short time with Mic, until Mic's family moved back to Ireland from New Jersey, but the families were still very close. Sadly, Mic passed away in 2001, at 32, after slipping down some steps while touring with The Waterboys. When the movie "Once" came out, McP went to see it with a friend, not knowing what it was about or that Glen, and even some of McP's cousins, were in it. Afterwards, he was a little shell shocked, and a bit sad.

That's when I was introduced to Mic's music, and now, just hearing his voice makes me think of good times, in the midst of dark times. In the process of learning about Mic, I've learned about Glen and his band The Frames. And, to come full circle, it just tickles me to death that this busker from Dublin now has an Oscar. Big things for a small town irish boy.

They turned the mic off before could Markéta could say her thank yous, but they brought her back out after the commerical break. She said the song was about hope and that's what we all need now - hope. And she was completely amazed that they had come this far and this just goes to show that going after your dreams can make them come true.

Very inspiring.

And there's my Sunday, in a nutshell.

The Soap Opera That Is My Life

Or, How I Could Have Slept With A New Yorker and A Couple From California, All In One Night.

A friend from work wanted to start a blog, so she was asking me for advice and assistance. I showed her my blog and she's become a faithful reader. She stopped me in the hallway a couple of days ago and said "You are such an interesting person! I love your blog!" I was flattered. Someone thinks I'm interesting.

Well, she's going to have a field day with one. Hold on to your undies, dear reader. Raechelle had a wild night last night.

Jamie and I started the evening off at the Purple Cafe and Wine Bar downtown. We ended up meeting a cutie pie from New York. He gave me his number, I gave him mine, he left and went back to his hotel. Fifteen minutes later, I had a text from him. A very flattering text. So I texted back. Because texting is harmless, right?

Ha.

As he got more comfortable, the man texted words I can't even say to my girlfriends with a straight face and invited me to his room, more than once, to help him pack. In case you're wondering, no, I did not entertain the idea of accepting the invitation. Although....he was a hottie.

Meanwhile, Jamie and I finished up at The Purple and, since it was merely 8pm, we headed across the street to the W Hotel. We were feeling quite social, so we chatted with a few guys, and then with a couple that were ordering drinks next to us.

They were visiting from California and they wanted to go dancing, so Jamie and I suggested some places and they left. The girlfriend came back a few minutes later and said I was really cool and we should meet up tomorrow night. We exchanged numbers. Because texting is harmless, right?

Ha.

I got a text from them a little while later. Would I be interested in having some fun with a couple?

Here's where Jamie says, "I don't know why you have low self esteem, Raechelle. Even women are coming onto you." I did feel pretty damn cool as my phone was dinging all night. I eventally had to label the numbers NY Guy and CA Couple because I couldn't keep the area codes straight. And Jamie and I could do nothing but laugh hysterically at the complete absurdity of the night. We think it was the full moon.

Ah, and here's where I will leave you dangling, dear reader. Cruel, aren't I? I will say that a threesome did not happen and the bathrooms in the W Hotel are almost bigger than the rooms themselves.

And I came home alone.
I'm not completely stupid. I just like good blog material.

Happy Friday! I Have Heartburn.

Did you know that too much chocolate gives you heartburn? I didn't. But I'm a smart cookie, so I figured it out after I broke down and bought a box of dark chocolate covered cherries (they're not just for christmas anymore!) and ate....ahem....a few too many in one sitting.

Then, today, I ate a couple of the dark chocolate truffles I bought to replinish my boss' candy dish, and whamo. Hearburn. Very interesting.

And unfortunate too, as tonight is Martini Night with Jamie. We may end up at a wine bar, but Martini Night sounds so much classier, don't you think? I got the boots and the pearls goin' on. I'm ready to paint the town.

I just need to get rid of the heartburn first.

Revelation

Apparently, there is a direct correlation between my mood and my weekly massages.

I've been trying to save money, so I cut my appointments back to every couple of weeks. But I haven't been since Jan 14 my neck and back are so tight and jammed that I'm just mad. I've been standing most of the day, because sitting is just miserable, and I keep looking at the clock, trying to will it to go faster so I can go home and just lay down. My next appointment is Monday and it's a good thing. I see now the benefit of a standing appointment.

I may need to give up something else and get back into the weekly thing.
This is no fun.

A Must Have

New bumper stickers at Archie McPhee:

I will be stopping by there on my way home.
Let me know if you'd like me to pick one up for you.

I already have "Save Ballard".

Ladies Who Lunch

So, the gals and I did not go to a movie. We couldn't find anything worth our $10. And since it was such a beautiful day, it was suggested we take a walk by the water. Rachelle called Val to run the plan past her.

And then I got a call from Val saying "We're going to be ladies who lunch. Carrie's coming with us. We'll be over in a half hour." Well, okay fine. Guess I should shower, no?

So, we walked down to the Old Town Alehouse in Ballard and had a nice Sex in the City type of afternoon. Lots of sex talk and "Does he do this? Cause I don't know what I'm supposed to do when he does this......" kind of conversations. I laughed a lot and smiled at the thought of how much better my life is these days.

Then we toodled in and out of the shops and I'll have you know I refrained from buying red patent leather boots that were a mere $39. Yes, they're kids' boots, but remember, I can wear kids' shoes. Oh, they were pretty. Shiney.

And then I came home and cleaned. Cause that's what I do.
And then took an hour long bath while I read Running With Scissors.

A good night, indeed.

Weekend Update....Still in Progress

Friday night, the Sheauns and I went to the Christoff Gallery in Georgetown to hear Paul Benoit and Chris Chandler play. I didn't know much about Paul, but after seeing in twice in one month, I like him a lot. McP bought his cd and it's already uploaded into iTunes.

Saturday afternoon, Kim and Milo came over.

Isn't he just the cutest? Kim left him here for a few minutes while she walked around the block. She wanted to see how he would do with someone new. He didn't even notice she was gone. And he knows me now. When she hands him to me, he buries his face in my shoulder and grabs onto me. Baby lovin'. Fantastic.

That evening, I went over to McP's to watch a couple of movies. One of which was Pirates of the Caribbean 3. I'd seen the first one. Very good. Missed the second one, but McP said it was good.

The third one? Oh my gawd.

I couldn't understand any of the dialog and had no idea what the point of the thing was. And two hours and forty minutes? Are you freakin' kidding me? Am I just old now? Remember when movies used to be a mere hour and a half? Just long enough so that you were thankful it was over, but not long enough to make your back hurt from all that sitting? Oy.

We also watched Family Guy's Star Wars movie. Only an hour long. And hysterial. I'm all about cheap humor.

Sunday, grocery shopping. Woohoo. And it was just beautiful here! Blue skies, 60 degrees.

Sunday night, pool (finally!) with the Sheauns. Until all the balls got stuck in the table and we couldn't play anymore. Home by 10pm. Yuck.

And today, beautiful again! Rachelle and Val are talking about going to a movie. Rachelle has had the flu for about three weeks now, so even though she says she's up for it, I don't think she's going to be. I need to make some calls and coordinate. Yes, it's a holiday from work, but I'm still coordinating gatherings. It's just who I am now.

Isn't A Little Early In The Morning For A Heart Attack?

I am sitting here eating the most awesomest cinnamon roll EVER. The ooey gooey goodness is saturating the paper plate on which it sits and I have to use a knife and fork to manage it. It is exactly what I need this morning (in addition to my big ass latte) to get into gear.

Because I had two large glasses of David Lake Zinfandel last night with Jessica (who out did me with the three margaritas beforehand at dinner) and we didn't go to bed until after 11pm. I am pooped this morning.

What else did we wild-n-crazy girls go for valentine's day? Watched "Brokeback Mountain", a true love story, and ate a lot of ice cream.

And now, only 7.5 hours to go until the long weekend.

And speaking of big ass lattes and heart attacks, the line for the drive-thru Starbucks this morning was down into the parking lot, through the light, and out onto Westlake. People were back up for probably a quarter of mile, waiting for a $3 coffee. Because apparently it was easier than actually parking in one of the many free spots and walking in. That gave me a nice, big laugh this morning.

I got my latte at our bistro, in case you were wondering. So there.

A Striking Sign of Growth in Ballard

I've been wanting to take a picture of Edith Macefield's house for a while now, but never seem to have my camera with me when I drive by. Thank goodness there's a million other bloggers out there who are more on the ball.

I don't know who to credit for the photo, so be sure to click the link above and read about her. There's also a great article in the PI that has more background on Edith.

In short, she was offered 1 million dollars for her house and land. She refused. Now they're building around her. Everytime I drive by, I smile.......with a little saddness. Change is inevitable. But Edith is standing strong.

The Wake Up Cat

For all my feline lovin' friends. I'm sure you can relate.

Props For My Gals II

Let me tell you about one my most favorite people.

Two years ago, Jamie worked at my clinic as a scheduler. We weren't really buddies back then. We just kind of chatted when we saw each other. Then Jamie quit the clinic (while in her late 30s) to attend school to be a Radiation Therapist. Quite impressive. While in school, she worked as a per diem in our film room - still does, actually. And the film room and I used to share an office. So, Jamie would come in after school and sit in my office and we'd just gab away about clothes and shoes and food.

The pivotal point in my relationship with Jamie was May of 07. I was planning Steve's big birthday party (at work, for shame!) so I'd ask Jamie's opinion on things. Should we have gerberas, Steve's favorite flower, or roses, because they're more classic? Should we have the food on one big table, or spread it around the room? And that's when she just volunteered to help, which completely surprised me. We didn't know each other very well, but she was offering to help me with this huge project. Since I was starting to realize this party was going to be so much more than I had anticipated, I said sure!

Let me tell you, Jamie worked her ass off. She spent a whole Saturday shopping with me. The day of the party, she was there at 5pm sharp to decorate. She met the caterers when they arrived (because I had gone home to get pretty and pick up Steve). She mingled with complete strangers. She kept the food levels up to par. And I remember her coming up to me at one point during the night, saying "People are talking about leaving. You might want to put the cake out now. I've got the candles and the matches, just go stand over there..." She kept me focused and organized and she kept the party flowing while I was being the hostess with the mostest. She was my right hand woman.

We didn't talk for a few weeks after that, so the next email I sent her was the one telling her Steve and I had broken up. She recognized a need and once again, she immediately stepped up. And she's still stepping up.

At dinner Sunday night, I was telling her about someone I had met. I talked about him a little, quoted some of his emails that made me laugh. She didn't say much. Just "Oh yeah? Oh, that's good. " But then on our walk home, I mentioned something about him and she said "I think he would have a hard time keeping up with you."

Wha....? Keeping up with me?

"Yes, you are very vibrant and vivid and just present. You have a spark and just something. I think alot of it is the artist in you. Even when you are feeling low there is an inner light that is unmistakable, I think it draws people to you."

Really? Me?

I would have never imagined myself as someone with an inner light that's hard to keep up with. Especially as I sit here in front of my computer (as I have for the past three hours....yes, three hours) in my sweats, burping because I've been drinking pepsi all night.

I'm hard to keep up with?

Sometimes it takes your friends reflecting yourself back to you in order to get a less skewed picture of yourself. Jamie sees me in this weird light in which I've never seen myself. She's held (and is still holding) my hand through the worst year of my life and she always has nothing but positive and inspiring things to say to me and about me. She's gotten me to wear smalls instead of larges since I'm, you know, smaller now and she is the key advisor on the boudoir because she shares the same vision for a love nest as I do. I'm constantly texting her pictures of things that I think suit our vision.

She's teaching me to embrace being a single, strong woman and that lacey underwear is not just for special occasions because we should feel special every single day. And she assures me things are only going to get better from here.

Jamie is one of those people to which I will be forever connected. We may drift apart in the future, but one day I'll get a call out of the blue and hear "Hi cupcake! How ya doin'?" and we'll fall right back into it.

Here's props to Jamie, who loves champagne as much as I do.
Cheers!

And So It Begins.....

The nurses put out an email this morning about a Valentine's Day potluck. "Make something red, pink or white!" Wheee! Feel the love!

I replied with "I'm wearing black. Maybe even a veil. I will not be eating."

I am dreading this day. It shouldn't be a big deal. It's a greeting card holiday. It's a reason to wear red and put hearts everywhere. But people know it's cheesy so they go allllll out with the cheese. And then it's just nauseating. Especially when you have no one to cheese it up with.

Oh, but I do have a date Thursday night. Jessica, one of the people I lived with last summer, asked if I would be her valentine. Her man is out of town so we're going to go to dinner and then have a sleepover. Maybe rent some chick flicks, drink some wine, bitch about boys. So I won't be alone. And I thanked Jessica profusely for that.