So Much To Think About

I have some downtime today so I’ve been perusing wedding gowns online. And my goodness, the questions that come to mind.

Do I want to look like a crack whore?
Do I want my boobs to hang out of the sides of the dress?
Do I want to wear feathers on my dress?
Do I want to wear feathers on my head?
Do I want to be able to fit into a bathroom stall?
Do I want to be able to walk?
Do I want to be able to breathe?
Do I want to be able to eat at the reception?
Do I want to look like a magnificent poof?
Do I want to look like I’m pregnant?
Do I want my dress to resemble a toga?
Do I want to look like frosting?
Do I want to look like I’m 12?
Do I want my ass to look like it is exploding in satin?
Do I want to gather small children in my six foot train as I pass by?
Do I want to my dress to resemble a doily?
Do I want to wear a choker?
Do I want that choker to be leather?
Do I want to look like the curtains we had in our house in 1984?

Whew.
And after scanning dress after dress after dress, I'm a little sick to my stomach. Need to take a break. All of them look like Cinderella now.

Ick.

And This Is Why I Shouldn’t Cook

I made dinner last night. Very rare.

But it was our nine month anniversary and we thought the kids were going to be at their uncle’s, so I said I’d make my man dinner and we’d crack open a bottle of wine and get all crazy like a couple of kidless youngsters.

Well, plans changed, so I made dinner for the family. No biggie, but cooking for the kids limits me more than just cooking for Todd. So, I decided rather than getting all kinds of creative, I would make a relatively easy dinner.

However.

I’m not good with nutrition. I don’t know which foods go together to help with digestion and which foods should be avoided with other foods. I just like food and I like a theme, so I put stuff together that I think works. Without thinking of the consequences.

So, dinner last night was red beans and rice, sausage, brussel sprouts (shut up, I love ‘em) and cornbread.

And as noted in the past, when I make dinner, by gawd, I make dinner. Complete with dessert (which was angel food cake, strawberries, vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup and whipped cream).

[chirp, chirp]

Do I really need to tell you where this is going?

At 11:00 last night, TBFE had some stomach cramps that probably gave him a good indication of what women go through every month. There were some gurgles that startled both of us and a few moanings that took the shape of “ah gawd”.

I felt so bad. I apologized over and over and finally said, “Maybe we should just stick with you making dinner. Maybe I shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen......”

Martha Stewart would be so ashamed of me.

Oddly enough, the kids love the red beans and rice and cornbread, and even had two helpings! Score for Rae-rae! They didn't care for the brussel sprouts, but that's okay. At least they tried them. I haven't heard how their stomachs are doing today.

Sigh.

Guess it's good thing I like to clean, huh?

“I Look Like Meringue”

- words that were uttered, by me, on Sunday as I finally squeezed my tush into some wedding dresses. Ten wedding dresses, to be exact.

And the range of emotions was exhausting.

joy – I’m getting married!
panic – I’m getting married!
giddiness – I finally get to put on these beautiful, albeit, heavy gowns!
fear – What if they don’t zip up? What if I look fat?
overwhelmed – I only have an hour to look through all of these?
flushed – Holy crap, how do I get out of this thing?! Is it hot in here?!

I’m not going to lie to you. There may have been tears at one point. Tears of happiness or tears of stress, I’m not sure.

The choosing part wasn’t very hard. I have a very particular style in mind, so I stuck to that. Well, until Kim pulled out a mermaid shaped dress without knowing it and I didn’t know it until I couldn’t get it up over my voluptuous child bearing hips. I was grunting in the dressing room and the little helper girl asked if everything was okay.

I said “I don’t think so. I think this one is broken.”
She took a peek and said, “Oh, that’s a mermaid style”.

I hollered to Kim that she was fired.

Other than that, Kim and Jamie did a great job of picking stuff out for me. Each time I’d come out of the dressing room, they had another one for me to try on.

However, at one point, early on, I came out and both of them were engrossed in a group of dresses near the mirrors. I walked over, climbed up on the little podium and stood there, hands on hips, ready for them to ooh and aah, but they didn’t even hear me.

Until I said, “Ladies! Focus!”

From that point on, as soon as I’d come out of the dressing room, I’d hear one of them say “Oh, she’s out! Let’s go!” Gotta keep my gals on their toes.

Despite my gloomy and blah mood, I did have fun. The mimosa beforehand helped alittle. And it’s such a surreal feeling to stand in front of a bunch of mirrors, in this huge, fluffy, sparkly dress. You really do feel like a princess. Even without any make up on and your wet hair up in a messy bun.

I’m looking forward to our next trip in a couple of weeks. I think I’ll have more fun this time. There won’t be a looming doctor’s appointment to worry about.

No Colposcopy For You!

So, I got all the way to the doctor's office, got down to that tiny sheet around my bare bottom, and Jamie (gawd bless her) was sitting next to me asking, "Ya doin' okay? Everything okay?"

Then the doctor came in, we started talking about my history and recent love of pap smears and she mentioned HPV and how it was responsible for 99% of all abnormal paps so we'll test for that and then........

Um. I thought you knew.

I've had two (count 'em - TWO) HPV screenings and BOTH were negative.

Negative.

Oh, she says. Well then. You don't need a colposcopy! I guess your GP was just being extra thorough.

Apparently, the two (count 'em - TWO) negative HPV screens takes away any concern there may be. So, yes, abnormal results, but no, nothing to worry about.

And no snipping of the cervix cells. Yay!

She offered to take a peek at my cervix and even do yet another pap if I wanted, but I was all papped out so I said no thanks. I'm all good.

We'll wait until my next annual in October (be sure to remind me if I don't blog about it by about October 20th), and if that one comes back abnormal, well we might think about a colposcopy. But until then, no need to stress.

Well, okay fine.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

In Case You're Interested In My Cervix

So, I’ve been a bit distracted the last few days, which is why I haven’t written.

The things that are on my mind, I don’t much feel like writing about. But since this blog has always been, primarily, to keep my friends and family in the know, regardless of how personal it may be (see: boob scare post of 2006), I figured I should let you in on the most recent stress in Rae-rae’s life (aside from wedding dresses).

[WARNING-Frequent use of the word “pap” coming up]

In October, I had my annual “well woman” exam. And the pap came back abnormal. Huh. No biggie. Could be a number of reasons. It happens.

Well, it’s never happened to me.

My doctor wasn’t alarmed, but wanted to do a follow up exam in January, just to double-check.

And pap number two was abnormal.

[As a side note, it seems that these doctor's appointments, and my mention of them, is what caused some people to think I was pregnant. Which is very funny.]

Again, not necessarily a horrible thing. It’s hard to tell. Lots of women have abnormal paps. Except me. This is all new. And since it’s out of the blue, my doctor (a GP) referred me to a Bonafied Gynecologist, for her recommendation.

So this afternoon I’m going in for a colposcopy.

Not a colonoscopy. I’d actually prefer that right now. Because a colposcopy doesn’t just go in and glance around while you’re on happy juice. A colposcopy looks around, then may actually snip cells from the cervix, while you are stone cold sober.

That’s right - everyone cross their legs now.

I’m not going to link to it, because I don’t think anyone really wants to read about all of the details. And if you do, that’s what Google is for

Now, as for my mental health regarding all of this, I’m not so concerned about the actual diagnosis. That’s not something I can control and whatever the outcome, it is what it is. We’ll jump off that bridge when we come to it and do what we have to do. Or not. Whatever.

The part I am absolutely freaking about it is the procedure. The colposcopy. I don’t mind the annual exams so much. My doctor is fantastic – in and out in under two minutes. Love her. But this exam is going to take longer. And I don’t know how much longer; I can’t find that information anywhere. I just know it’s hard enough to “relax” for the two minutes I need to in order for my doctor to do what she’s gotta do. I’m stressed about being stressed and trying to “relax” for a longer period of time while “things” are “going on” (like how I simplify this stuff for you?).

Luckily, my Best Lady, Jamie will be with me. I’ve given her props before and depending on how much of a pain in the ass I am this afternoon, she may get her Props II post later this week. Once I’m out of the fetal position and can type again.

Anywho.
That’s what’s going on with me.

Well, I also tried on wedding dresses yesterday.
But that should be a different post.

I'm Really Not Materialistic

I never posted a picture of my engagement ring on the blog because I didn't want people to think "Oh, she's all about the bling".

But when people ask to see it, and I'm hesitant because I don't want Todd to think I'm a shallow gold (er....um platinum) digger, The Best Fiancé Ever will say "You better show it off! I spent a lot of money AND I designed it!"

And since I'll never see some of you face to face, and I know you're curious, here's a couple of pics for you.

(This past weekend, playing with the camera, cropped so you can't see that I'm actually holding my boob.)

(Day of the engagement, trying to get a good shot for my mom.)

There's one, large diamond on top, then two smaller diamonds, one on each side. Those small diamonds belonged to Todd's great great aunt. Todd's sister-in-law also has family diamonds in her ring. We're all about family. And the Celtic knot work goes all the way around the ring.

I'll admit, I was nervous when Todd mentioned he was designing the ring himself. We had been sending pictures back and forth as early as August, so he had an idea of what I liked, but sometimes we don't agree on styles and patterns.

And, honestly, when he proposed, I completely forgot there was a ring. I said yes and just stood there and hugged him. Then he nudged me with the box, and held the ring up and I literally gasped.

It was perfect. I could not have picked out a more perfect piece of jewelry. It's dainty, it looks antique and it's sparkly. It has character and personality. It's unique and I know that no one else has a ring like this.

So there ya go.

My Latest Soap Opera

I was in the kitchen this morning, preparing my oatmeal, and a co-worker walked in. I don't know her name, but we're friendly and chat when we both happen to be in the kitchen at the same time. She also compliments my cube when I decorate it.

This morning, she told me that she asked my fellow buyer and cube neighbor, if I was Irish. He wearily replied, "I think so" with a sigh. The woman said, "I can't wait to see what she does for St. Patrick's Day!"

This is the same fellow buyer who scowled at my Christmas decorations and threatened to remove my Valentine's Day decorations. All with a slight grin, as if he were joking, but I don't think he was. I think he genuinely hates decorating.

Hmm.
It's unfortunate that he sits next to me.

In a shocking twist, it was my SUPERVISOR who actually took down my heart paper garland, in a fit of humorous Valentine's Day disgust. Imagine her surprise when she walked through the office later that day, only to find that the Valentine's Day garland she had stolen had MAGICALLY REAPPEARED!

Ha!
I bought two. Just in case a tragic event like this should transpire.
Do not mess with my decorations. I mean it.

However, I really love my group, so I have compromised with Mr. Cranky Non-Decorating Co-Worker and Ms. I Have No Holiday Spirit. I have agreed to only decorate on St. Patrick's Day proper. I see now that I may have pushed them a little too far with four days of red hearts and frilly garland.

If it weren't for this kind of drama, my life would be so boring.

Lazy Sunday

This is what happens on days when we have nothing on the calendar.

And this is how far I can take it now because I have a LABEL MAKER.

I didn't do all of the files. Had to bring myself to a stop. Got things to do.

The kids each have an overnight, so TBFE and I are going to see Lisa Hannigan at the Triple Door, after a long, leisurely dinner at Wild Ginger. Yum.

Happy Valentine's Day

Or, Happy VD day, as my friend used to say, completely by accident because she was a dork.

(Just a Few) Random Thoughts

I find myself right clicking on pictures of bouquets I like or hairstyles I like and saving them in my Wedding folder. Quick and easy way to save and organize ideas.

Take that, Martha Stewart.

**********

Office Max is pissing me off (watch their new commercial). I had written an entire post dedicated to how much they’re pissing me off, but let me just say this:

Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I’m going to throw all logic to the wind and buy your $40 silver stapler or your $.99 baroque file folders. Just because you’ve revamped your image to include a bazillion flowers and pretty colors does not mean I’m going to be suckered into spending more money than I should just so my office looks all pretty. Yes, you’ve discovered that 80% of your customers are women, but holy crap, overdo it much? The two men I work with are as offended as I am.

Now, that said, the shoes that the woman is wearing in the advertisement that came today are FANTABULOUS. I don’t give a shit about your Candy Apple Red 4WRK paper shredder, but I need to know where I can buy those shoes.

**********

I still haven’t tried on any wedding dresses. Isn’t that funny? You would think the first thing I would have done after getting engaged was go try on the big frilly dresses. But no. Maybe I’ve been too busy. Maybe I think I’m fat. Maybe I’m scared that it will be harder than I think and I’ll get discouraged.

Maybe I’ll make an appointment for next weekend. Maybe.

**********

I decorated my cube for Valentine’s Day. It’s not that I love Valentine’s Day so much, it’s really just to irk my co-workers who made a fuss when I decorated for Christmas. And because they’ve made their feelings known, I will be decorating for St Patrick’s Day and Easter and maybe even Memorial Day. So there.


Last year, I wore black (bad year and all) and I found a black hat complete with veil on my desk when I arrived to work. I know who left it. He's a funny guy.

So I wore it all day.


I live to entertain my co-workers.

Christmas Never Ends!

I’m still trying to get caught up on all of the blogs I read, after missing a few weeks back in January, so I just noticed that Creth, of Acid Indignation, tagged me on the big Christmas meme that went around this year. This, after Lucy tagged me and I completely missed it. (Apparently, so did Todd, as it took two taggings to get him to do this.)

I feel so loved and popular. Thanks guys.

Here we go (two months late, and because I have nothing else to share with you right now). And my apologies, Stephen. I know how you feel about dragging this Christmas crap out.

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?
Hot chocolate. Just reading the words “egg nog” makes me wanna barf.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Santa leaves them unwrapped, under the tree. Everyone else wraps them. That’s the best part of waking up Christmas morning. The new stuff that Santa leaves!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White. Although I did multi in '07 just because I had them and they were very pretty on the tree.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No. Where does one find mistletoe? Besides at the florist shop at Christmas?

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Day after Thanksgiving.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
We never really had a holiday dish. Other than the green bean casserole with the French’s onions on top. I think that was only for turkey day, though.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child?
Wow. I honestly can’t think of one. Christmases were always exciting and fun in my house. Maybe it’s not that I can’t think of one. Maybe it’s that they were all my favorite.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
What do you mean?

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
My folks and I used to open one gift on Christmas Eve. Then it turned into however many we wanted, which turned into opening them as they arrived in the mail in the weeks leading up to Christmas. We’re all about instant gratification.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
Uh, by hand? Is there a special contraption out there that will do it for me?
We used to lights, garland and ornaments. Since I’ve been having my own tree, I leave off the garland.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it?
Loved it before Dec 08. Now, not so much. It’s pretty for the first day, then it’s just a pain in the ass.

12. Can you ice skate?
Yep. And do one of those skate on one leg while the other one is out behind you moves. What’s that called? Google is no help to me.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Oh, there were so many. The Pizza Hut playdoh factory (when I was 17), the trampoline (when I was 8), the Swatch watch my daddy gave me.

14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you?
Giving presents. I love a reason to buy for people.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
Yes.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
It used to be driving around with my mom, looking at lights in the neighborhood. I’m not sure if Todd and I have any traditions just yet. Seeing as how we just spent our first Christmas together.

17. What tops your tree?
Now, the tree is too tall for a topper. But in the past, my family had one of those cheesy, tinsely, multi-colored light things that blinks.

18. Which do you prefer - giving or receiving?
Giving. But like receiving a lot, too.
(You have no idea how long it took me to answer this question. My mind is absolutely filthy.)

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Ack. Just one? “Fairytale in New York” by the Pogues. “Baby, Please Come Home” by U2. “Blue Christmas” by Elvis.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Yuck. They get old after a couple of licks.
Yeah, I said it. Licks.
(See? Filthy.)

21. What do you want for Christmas?
Peace and love.
And an engagement ring.
Oh wait!! I already got that!!

Okay. Christmas is officially over now.
I mean it.

The Organizer

While I'm waiting for TBFE to finish up killin' aliens (whatever the hell they are), I thought I would share with you my Holy-Crap-I'm-Actually-Getting-Married (HCIAGM?) wedding organizer.


As a bonus, you get a photo of Elvis, judging my labeling job. The labels are venue, catering, bride's attire, groom's attire, reception, cake, party's attire, invitations and honeymoon. I still have a couple of empty pockets, too. Room to expand.

There's a little pull out flap too (that black thing in the front) that has some zippered pockets (for receipts?) and a flat writing surface. Jamie purchased a few of these organizer thingies a while back and didn't use a couple, so she gave them to me. The other one is my magazine project organizer.

Okay, TBFE is finished killing things and has logged out.
Gotta go be mushy.......

Conditioning

I’m sitting at my desk (taking one of my required breaks, thankyouverymuch) and I just had the odd sensation that I need to fasten my seatbelt. I guess feel a little out of control in my ergonomic desk chair. Feel like I need to be buckled in.

Huh.

That's all.

so....sleepy.....

What is up with today?
The alarm went off at 6:00am. Like normal. And I finally crawled out of bed at 7:15am. I just cannot get moving.

Could be that my sinuses were clogged all night and I never sleep well when I have to breathe through my mouth.

Could be that I was awakened a few times in the night by an unusually active household.

Could be the memorial service we went to yesterday afternoon drained me more than I thought it would. Lots of friends and memories from the past, but I'm thankful that I was included.

Whatever the reason, I am counting down the minutes until I can get back into bed. I hate days like this. It's a slippery slope.

Oh, you said it, kitty cat.
You said it.

Update on the Retirees

Oh, they’re having the time of their lives up there in the hills. Just look at how much fun Dad’s having.

Bet Florida ain't lookin' so bad, is it, Ma?

Weekend Update

My goodness, where does the time go? Seems like it was just Friday, and I was looking forward to relaxing over the weekend. Yeah. It never works out that way.

Friday night was movies with Trish and Dan and pizza. And westerns. Fun stuff. The most relaxing portion of the weekend.

Saturday, we Downings-n-Marsh were all very productive. We cleaned out the carport and took a truckload of stuff to the dump. Kayleigh swept out the carport and Tyler broke down cardboard boxes for recycling. It was a fun family project and the result is no more crap for the rats to hide in! Yay!

After cleaning ourselves up, Kayleigh headed over to a friend’s house for an overnight and Todd and I headed to Canada. Uh, I mean Lynnwood. Which is almost to Canada.

Todd shot some footage of Kyle Steven’s performance at the Comic Stop and afterwards, we had dinner, then attended my first Chinese New Year party. I am a rabbit. That’s my Chinese sign. I like it. I like bunnies. This however, is the year of the Ox. I’m not sure what that means for us rabbits. I met lots of new people, and I think I made my man proud in front of his friends. Especially when I talked about my boobs. When in doubt, talk about yer boobs.

Since the party was in Lynnwood, and it didn’t let out until around midnight, we were up very late. But Todd still got up early Sunday morning to have coffee with his friend, while I slept in, drooling and dreaming until my phone rang and woke me up. Then I got myself together and walked over to my new friend Stephanie’s house so that I could offer up my two cents on decorating ideas for our shopping trip. We weren’t very productive in the shopping department, but it was nice to have some coffee and girl time. She came home with three adhesive back hooks. At least her daughter can hang her coats up now.

By that afternoon, I was quite pooped, so Todd fixed nachos and we curled up on the couch to watch the Un-SuperBowl. Although, it was pretty super. Would have been superer if the Cardinals had won, but oh well. They gave the Steelers (although, some Seahawks fans still tend to say Stealers) a run for their money and that’s better than we all expected.

And after the game I broke out all of my wedding notes and brochures and ripped pages, along with my BRAND NEW LABEL MAKER and spent the next two hours organizing my papers and labeling my Holy-Crap-I’m-Actually-Getting-Married wedding binder while sprawling all over the bed and watching The Office.

Yes, that’s my idea of a great night.

And now I think I have a sinus infection.

My head hurts, my cheeks hurt, my teeth hurt. Ow. I’ve been itching like crazy and it occurs to me that it’s because I’ve been loading up on Sudafed for the past week. My sinuses tend to clog up right as we lay down to go to bed, so I've been popping a Sudafed nightly. Which dries me out. Which makes me itch. At least it’s not lice. But it does indicate a problem of some sort.

(No, not a drug problem. I can stop anytime I want. Really.)

Thankfully, I have yet another doctor’s appointment* this week, so maybe he can prescribe an antibiotic or something to clear it up.

I think you’re all caught up now.



*Not to worry. This appointment is just to represcribe my massages. No biggie.

$3,524.79

That’s how much damage that little ol’ rat caused.
Damn rat.

I got Ruby back from the shop on Friday. And she’s filthy. And it smells like someone spilled beer in her.

But otherwise, she’s a happy girl. And I am very happy to have her back.

When I dropped of the rental beast at Enterprise on Friday, the very chipper sales lady asked me if everything was to my liking. My reply was:

“I hate that car”.

She looked shocked and started to stammer, “Oh, well, I’m….I’m so sorry you weren’t completely satisfied….um….satisfied with your….um…”

I cut her off and said it was nothing personal. It’s just that that car is the absolute worse car on the planet. Really.

But it only cost me $26 out of pocket, so I really shouldn’t complain.

Anywho.
Ruby is back, The Beast is gone, the rat is dead and hopefully things will return to normal around here.