So, I’ve been a bit distracted the last few days, which is why I haven’t written.
The things that are on my mind, I don’t much feel like writing about. But since this blog has always been, primarily, to keep my friends and family in the know, regardless of how personal it may be (see: boob scare post of 2006), I figured I should let you in on the most recent stress in Rae-rae’s life (aside from wedding dresses).
[WARNING-Frequent use of the word “pap” coming up]
In October, I had my annual “well woman” exam. And the pap came back abnormal. Huh. No biggie. Could be a number of reasons. It happens.
Well, it’s never happened to me.
My doctor wasn’t alarmed, but wanted to do a follow up exam in January, just to double-check.
And pap number two was abnormal.
[As a side note, it seems that these doctor's appointments, and my mention of them, is what caused some people to think I was pregnant. Which is very funny.]
Again, not necessarily a horrible thing. It’s hard to tell. Lots of women have abnormal paps. Except me. This is all new. And since it’s out of the blue, my doctor (a GP) referred me to a Bonafied Gynecologist, for her recommendation.
So this afternoon I’m going in for a colposcopy.
Not a colonoscopy. I’d actually prefer that right now. Because a colposcopy doesn’t just go in and glance around while you’re on happy juice. A colposcopy looks around, then may actually snip cells from the cervix, while you are stone cold sober.
That’s right - everyone cross their legs now.
I’m not going to link to it, because I don’t think anyone really wants to read about all of the details. And if you do, that’s what Google is for
Now, as for my mental health regarding all of this, I’m not so concerned about the actual diagnosis. That’s not something I can control and whatever the outcome, it is what it is. We’ll jump off that bridge when we come to it and do what we have to do. Or not. Whatever.
The part I am absolutely freaking about it is the procedure. The colposcopy. I don’t mind the annual exams so much. My doctor is fantastic – in and out in under two minutes. Love her. But this exam is going to take longer. And I don’t know how much longer; I can’t find that information anywhere. I just know it’s hard enough to “relax” for the two minutes I need to in order for my doctor to do what she’s gotta do. I’m stressed about being stressed and trying to “relax” for a longer period of time while “things” are “going on” (like how I simplify this stuff for you?).
Luckily, my Best Lady, Jamie will be with me. I’ve given her props before and depending on how much of a pain in the ass I am this afternoon, she may get her Props II post later this week. Once I’m out of the fetal position and can type again.
That’s what’s going on with me.
Well, I also tried on wedding dresses yesterday.
But that should be a different post.