Thursday, February 26, 2009

So Much To Think About

I have some downtime today so I’ve been perusing wedding gowns online. And my goodness, the questions that come to mind.

Do I want to look like a crack whore?
Do I want my boobs to hang out of the sides of the dress?
Do I want to wear feathers on my dress?
Do I want to wear feathers on my head?
Do I want to be able to fit into a bathroom stall?
Do I want to be able to walk?
Do I want to be able to breathe?
Do I want to be able to eat at the reception?
Do I want to look like a magnificent poof?
Do I want to look like I’m pregnant?
Do I want my dress to resemble a toga?
Do I want to look like frosting?
Do I want to look like I’m 12?
Do I want my ass to look like it is exploding in satin?
Do I want to gather small children in my six foot train as I pass by?
Do I want to my dress to resemble a doily?
Do I want to wear a choker?
Do I want that choker to be leather?
Do I want to look like the curtains we had in our house in 1984?

Whew.
And after scanning dress after dress after dress, I'm a little sick to my stomach. Need to take a break. All of them look like Cinderella now.

Ick.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

No
Hell no
Only if I get to, too
See previous answer
Overrated, but then I guess that means I have to hold everything up, eh?
You should have the small children carry you in, then you can wear what ever shoes you want
Strongly suggested
You wont have time so this really doesnt count
Hell ya
Hell no, again
Not so much
Sweet
Another hell no
Only if it makes your ass look fabulous
No, too much crying
Only if you plan camping out on your grannies couch
Two words: crack whore
Three words: kinky crack whore
Again, only if it makes your ass look fabulous

xo,
j

Dee said...

Decisions, decisions. I have faith in you - you're going to pick a beautiful dress. You'll know it when you see it!

Lucy Leadskin said...

You should go for the kinky pregnant Vegas showgirl crack whore from that topless Grecian nanny show where they bake cupcakes.

xo!