Friday, August 1, 2008

Is It Tomorrow Yet?

What the hell is up with the universe today?

I can't count the number of cars who almost ran or eased into me because they weren't paying attention to what they were doing. Or the number of people I almost hit with my car because they stepped off the curb, cell phone to their ear, completely unaware that there were cars zooming past.

Here's a tip for ya: PAY ATTENTION, PEOPLE. Take yer freakin' cell phone away from your ear and look forward. How hard is that? You are not the only one in this world and one of these days, people are going to quit slamming on their brakes for you just because you're too engrossed in whatever it is you're doing to notice that there is a car coming RIGHT TOWARD YOU. Dumbass.

Okay, maybe I'm a little grumpy today.

I had a dentist appointment this morning and apparently, a root canal is not in order just yet. I have a crack in my tooth, that runs up by the nerve, and we suspect I am grinding my teeth at night (just like I have for the last 25 years) which is aggravating the nerve every day and not giving it a chance to calm down.

So, he suggested (and has been suggesting) a night guard (for six years now). Maybe I'll actually break down and buy one because it's just pissing me off now and I'm pretty sure I'm killing my stomach with the amount of Advil I'm taking on a daily basis. And the tooth pain is making the entire left side of my head hurt so that when I cough (freakin' allergies) my brain feels like it's trying to somehow exit my skull.

And then there's MS (not PMS....we are not in the "Pre" stages anymore) which just makes me want to rip out my own ovaries with my bare hands and throw them against the wall. I work in a clinic. We've got plenty of gauze. I think I can do it.

When I had my first "woman's doctor's appointment" at 17 (I think it was 17), the doctor came into the room and asked, "Now, what can I do for you?"

And I very calmly and maturely said, "I would like a hysterectomy, please."

I think my mom laughed. Only three years of being a woman and I was sick of it. Screw. This.


Enough about my uterus.

I am very much looking forward to this evening. Todd and I will be taking one of our faithful readers, who is visiting from Houston, and her husband out for dinner. I think we'll go somewhere on the water. Because we know how to impress our fans.

And then afterward, mucho cuddle time with my man. I think that will make all of the aches and pains magically go away. And if not, well, who cares. I still get cuddle time.


TD said...

You mean you don't wanna wrestle? Awwww, and I got a new unitard and everything!

I guess I'll just have to deal with cuddle time.

Ann said...

From a fellow teeth grinder - get the mouth guard! I stress-grind and woke up with a broken tooth and cracked the one next to it (had to admit Doug was right when he said I had self-destructive tendencies after that :( ) I can empathize with the rest of it, too - feel better! Let's talk soon and figure out schedules for some hang out time :)