Shake It Out

This song has rolling around in my brain for days.  The Mountain seems to always play it right as my alarm goes off.  There's just something about it that hits home.  

The beauty of music is that you can interpret any way that want when something resonates with you.  And this song says to me, I've done some stupid and bad stuff, but if I'm going to move on, I have to let it go.  "I'm always dragging that horse around...tonight I'm going to bury that horse in the ground.....And it's hard to dance, with the devil on your back so shake him off!"

And yes, I screwed up and I can't take it back, but shake it out.



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Shake It Out - Florence & The Machine

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

And our love is pastured such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a final mess but it's left me so empty
It's always darkest before the dawn

Oh woah, oh woah...

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

Weekend Update….and Viadoom

For those of you not from ‘round here, there’s big happenings right now.  One of our major north-south arteries, the Alaskan Way Viaduct, is being torn down.  This is has been in the works for a while (don’t get me started on the tunnel they’re building….along the waterfront, in ground that is landfill, in earthquake country) but over the weekend, we had a major development.

They started Friday night.

Now you can take the West Seattle Bridge (our one major escape off of the West Seattle peninsula)  to I5 and go north or south, but that’s just crazy stupid.  Way too many cars for just that one route.  So we West Seattlites usually take the Alaska Way Viaduct.  It’s like our local freeway. 

And now it's closed.

The news leading up to this nine day closure came with a few  different nicknames – Via Con Dios, Carmageddon, Viapocalypse.  I prefer Viadoom.  Easier to say.  We were being told to allow at least one extra hour for our commute.  One whole hour.  There are survival guides.  People took the week off from work to avoid the commute all together. 

I took the bus this morning.  I might have still been stuck in traffic, but at least I didn’t have figure out which route to take.

All in all, I was 15 minutes late to work this morning.  And I would have been out the door much earlier if it hadn’t been for Tom puking under the bed as I was getting ready.  That led to me and Todd pulling out the bed so I could get back there to clean it up, which led me to vacuuming back there because, oh my gawd, the dust and cat hair.  So, I left the house a little later than I intended.  Which was okay because it seems that everyone else left an hour earlier, so the roads were pretty open at 7:30am. 

Rumor has it that the next few days will be worse.  People overcompensated and left really early, or took the bus when they’d normally drive, or just took the freakin’ day off.  I’m curious to see how things end up toward the end of the week.

So that’s the exciting news around here.

West Seattle hosted a few local, stay-on-the peninsula events over the weekend (Viadeals), but Todd and I had no reason to leave anyway.  It was our neighbor’s big ass Halloween party Saturday night.

Todd was a steam punk monster hunter, and I was a flapper.

And can I just say, holy shit, I am a big girl.  I think I’m okay with my size (even when I’m buying a size 16 dress) but then I see a picture and I don’t even recognize myself.  Maybe my back was just uber arched?

But I’m happy!  So you have to pick your battles, right?

Maybe pick your battles and skip dinner occasionally.

(Don't even mention the wine.  Just don't.)

Like that coat?  That was an impulse buy that afternoon.  It's chenille or crushed velvet.  Very soft.  Very sexy. 

And my man with all his knives and guns and pointy sideburns.  Such a cutie.

We hung out at our neighbor's until the bitter end (i.e. they kicked us out because they were tired and just wanted to go to bed, but if you were so tired, Mr. Neighbor, why did you keep refilling my wine glass?  Enablers.) then crashed at home and watched some TV. 

And Sunday was a ridiculous game of touch football.  Just....ridiculous. Three to 6?  Really?  You couldn't score more than three points in two and half hours?  Really?  You make it really hard to support you, 'Hawks.  Real.Hard.

After football, it was time for some therapy, so after Todd left for "War of the Worlds" load in, I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned.  And I taught Kayleigh to clean her bathroom.  She did okay with the sink, but man, when it came time to get all up in the toilet, she was dry heaving.  I told her to bow down to the porcelain goddess and scrub her real good.  

Kayleigh asked, "Why do you keep calling it a "goddess"?!  I said, "Because she takes a lot of shit from people.  Now scrub."

Ha!

We had already made plans to go get pedicures that evening, so I reminder her that our reward was just a couple of hours away.   She replied with, "It's not worth it!"  So I ended up buying her ice cream, too.  She did good.

After our pedicures and grocery shopping, we came home and made tuna melts for dinner.  Which is really, really difficult when you gag at the sight of mayo.  But I got through it, and the sandwiches were yummy, and we watched The Money Pit, which now reminds me of when we first moved into our house.  One freakin' thing after another.

And then Todd got home and there was lots of cuddling and then bedtime.

And now, as I type this, I think I need to maybe make an eye doctor's appointment because I find myself leaning closer and closer to the screen because the letters are all running together.  Crap.

Rough Week

I'm having a hard time being incompetent.  Todd will say I'm not "incompetent", just "new".  But it sure feels incompetent.

It has been brought to my attention at work that I'm not all that and a bag of chips, like I thought I was.  Apparently typos are frowned upon.  Really?  Oh, but who has crackers and granola bars and pretzels in their desk drawer when Super Boss comes out of his office at 3pm every day asking anyone and everyone, "Do you have any food?  I'm hungry.  Do you have anything to eat?"

Maybe I'm rushing.  I think I want to produce material so quickly to show I'm "on it" that I haven't been proofreading my stuff very well.  Three dollars per feet?  Really?  Come on, Rae-rae!  You know better than that!

Sigh.

So, it's not just assumed anymore that I'm the shit.  Go figure.  I have to prove myself.  It's been a long time since I've had to prove myself.  I am good.  Can't you just take my word for it? 

No.  Not when I type "300,00.0"  That's just wicked stupid.

I feel like I'm starting alllll over again.  Granted, I *am* starting over, in a new job with new people, but this is a whole new ballgame for me.

For example, I am no longer the young, cute, funny girl in the office that talks about dating and her soap opera life and clubbing on the weekends.  No, that's another girl now.  A 23 year old tall, skinny, blond whose actually really nice and was really great at teaching me InDesign.  Crap.

I am now the 36 year old married woman with two teenagers who can't stay awake past 10pm.  I wear blouses that hide my belly, I keep tissues with me at all times, I'm the one who has Tums, tweezers and band aids in her desk.  I'm the mom.  I'm the old lady.

It's true.  I found out today that I am the oldest of the administrative team.  Fantastic.

Not only am I in a completely new business, I'm in a completely new roll.  I was not prepared for this new roll.  It's weird.

Anywho, that's what's been up with me lately.  I've been adjusting to my new place in the world. Sorry I've been out of touch.

Kisses.

Update

I may have failed to mention that I haven't been on my pretty pink pills for the last month.  Insurance crap.  That's probably why I haven't been writing much.  I've started a few posts, but they end up just bitching about I lost it and freaked out and well, who wants to read about that?

Actually, that was pretty much my weekend.  I was irked Friday evening, but persevered and had a nice dinner with the family for Kayleigh's birthday.  I slept in late Saturday morning, so that helped and my day started out okay.  But then Kayleigh's birthday festivities got delayed and we finally got to Gameworks, which was hellaloud, and then I started drinking cosmos with Ann, and well, crap. 

The highlight of the evening was after Gameworks.  We took Kayleigh and Lydia to see Bob Schneider at the Triple Door.  He was by himself, so it was a simple lovely show.  And afterwards, he milled about and talked to people, so we pulled Kayleigh up to him and she got her pic with him.  And she maybe hyperventilated a little.

It was a bit of a rough night, but Todd made it all better with cuddles, so it ended on a good note.

And Sunday, I spent the entire afternoon by myself, shopping.  Who knew Kohl's had such cool stuff?!   I came home with numerous bags and a couple pair of new shoes and, now my insurance crap is straightened out, my pretty pink pills.

Todd is very happy.

On a completely different note, I accidentally wandered into Express today.

Uh oh.

The majority of that store is red, black, white, silver and animal print.  Gawd help me when I get more money.