While laying in bed at 6:30am this morning, with a very, very full bladder, after the alarm has gone off three times.
Todd: (thinking he's motivating me to get out of bed) Don't make me touch you inappropriately.
Me: I will pee on you, I swear to gawd.
Todd: (laugh) Like a mouse, when you hold it.
Todd: Mice. They pee on you when you pick them up...
Me: Why are you holding mice? That's disgusting.
Todd: Some people juggle geese....
Even better, when I first typed this, I typed "sheep" instead of "geese".
Todd read it over my shoulder and said, "I said geese. Not sheep. Baaaaa."
I almost spit out my bagel.