Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Year of Raechelle

Did I tell you I bought new dishes? On a whim?

I argued with The Ex for over a year about buying new dishes. He brought his Goodwill dishes to the relationship, I brought mine, and I just wanted matching dishes. Not china. Not a fancy place setting for 20 people, just new matching dishes. How difficult is that?

Apparently, pretty damn difficult for some people. We couldn't agree on a color. Couldn't agree on what type of bowls, how many settings, designs or solids. Oh, for the love of puppies, they're just dishes! But dishes represented a whole big can o' worms to The Ex. Forget the fact we had a joint checking account and that he was on my insurance as a domestic partner. New, matching dishes meant we were Serious.

After one of the many where-is-this-relationship-going talks, The Ex saw that he was being silly and said, in much the same tone he would say "I love you":

"Go buy the dishes."

You would think he had proposed to me. I was giddy. I knew what a big step this was and by golly, I was out the next day buying dishes.

When I moved out, we semi divided them up. I left all of the bowls. They were suited for him and his cereal - who knew some bowls aren't good for cereal? (And who knew I would ever be with a man who could eat an entire box of Captain Crunch in one sitting?) I took all of the big plates because he didn't like them and we split the little plates.

Last weekend, I took everything to Goodwill. And, oh my god, you have no idea how freeing it was. Letting go of something that constantly reminded me of a crappy afternoon, almost breaking up, then being so freakin' happy that my boyfriend gave me permission to buy dishes. How pathetic do I look in that scene?

I am no longer asking for permission to buy dishes. I bought the damn dishes. White ones. Because they're clean and airy and simple and they are EXACTLY what I want. And the bowls are not at all cereal friendly.

I also bought new lamps for my bedroom. I searched and search for exactly what I wanted, and I found them (on sale, no less). And I love them. Every time I turn on the light, I think "These are mine. They don't belong to anyone else."

This is the Year of Raechelle. I declare it. I've spent way too many years catering to someone else and their issues. I think I owe it to myself to be a little selfish. Focus on me for a while. Because there will come a day when I won't be alone anymore. I may even have a couple of little ones who are demanding all of my time. One day, I will do nothing but cater to other people.

So, while I have this time, I am going to make the most of it.

I'm starting with a manicure this evening.

4 comments:

Carrie and/or Wayne said...

Hell yeah!! I've been in relationships just as you describe, not fun. I've also been where you are now and it is scary, exciting, freeing, terrifying, joyful, etc etc ETC!

One day when you are moving houses with your amazing partner and two snotty-nosed kids, you will find a dusty box with those wonderful dishes in them and you will smile. A lot. Mine were blue and white and I have two of the perfect-for-me coffee cups in my cupboard, and the rest packed up in that dusty box.

And yes, enjoy your time now. 'Cause those snotty kids are demanding little buggers! :o)

Jake said...

You bought lamps ON SALE?

Does your mother know you're posting gay porn on the Internets?

Kristin said...

Right on sister!!!

tbone said...

What I want to know is how Carrie knew I have two snotty-nosed kids...