Did I tell you I bought new dishes? On a whim?
I argued with The Ex for over a year about buying new dishes. He brought his Goodwill dishes to the relationship, I brought mine, and I just wanted matching dishes. Not china. Not a fancy place setting for 20 people, just new matching dishes. How difficult is that?
Apparently, pretty damn difficult for some people. We couldn't agree on a color. Couldn't agree on what type of bowls, how many settings, designs or solids. Oh, for the love of puppies, they're just dishes! But dishes represented a whole big can o' worms to The Ex. Forget the fact we had a joint checking account and that he was on my insurance as a domestic partner. New, matching dishes meant we were Serious.
After one of the many where-is-this-relationship-going talks, The Ex saw that he was being silly and said, in much the same tone he would say "I love you":
"Go buy the dishes."
You would think he had proposed to me. I was giddy. I knew what a big step this was and by golly, I was out the next day buying dishes.
When I moved out, we semi divided them up. I left all of the bowls. They were suited for him and his cereal - who knew some bowls aren't good for cereal? (And who knew I would ever be with a man who could eat an entire box of Captain Crunch in one sitting?) I took all of the big plates because he didn't like them and we split the little plates.
Last weekend, I took everything to Goodwill. And, oh my god, you have no idea how freeing it was. Letting go of something that constantly reminded me of a crappy afternoon, almost breaking up, then being so freakin' happy that my boyfriend gave me permission to buy dishes. How pathetic do I look in that scene?
I am no longer asking for permission to buy dishes. I bought the damn dishes. White ones. Because they're clean and airy and simple and they are EXACTLY what I want. And the bowls are not at all cereal friendly.
I also bought new lamps for my bedroom. I searched and search for exactly what I wanted, and I found them (on sale, no less). And I love them. Every time I turn on the light, I think "These are mine. They don't belong to anyone else."
This is the Year of Raechelle. I declare it. I've spent way too many years catering to someone else and their issues. I think I owe it to myself to be a little selfish. Focus on me for a while. Because there will come a day when I won't be alone anymore. I may even have a couple of little ones who are demanding all of my time. One day, I will do nothing but cater to other people.
So, while I have this time, I am going to make the most of it.
I'm starting with a manicure this evening.