Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Gee, Thanks

It's weird to be sitting here in my own apartment without a damn thing to do. For the past six years, I've spent Thanksgiving eve in the grocery store, freaking out, then in the kitchen, freaking out. Steve would make yams, I would make greenbean casserole. We'd sleep in on Thanksgiving day, then be out at his family's around noon.

Tomorrow I will be at Shaun's, eating potroast, greenbean casserole and cheesecake. I could have made a turkey, but it's a lot of work for just two people. So, potroast it is.

Everything is so different. My life is so different. And I'm not sure I like it too much right now. So this is my attempt to be positive and, for a brief period, not dwell on the shit that is my life.

What am I thankful for?
  • Tissues with lotion. I'm going through them like....well.....tissues.
  • Coldplay and the song Fix You. "Tears stream down your face, I promise you I will learn from the mistakes"
  • My bathroom. Because it looks beautiful in the candlelight when I'm taking a bubble bath. As do my pretty, red toenails.
  • All of the people who invited me to their Thanksgiving dinner because they knew this was the first one without Steve.
  • My Sheauns. For more things than I could possibly ever list here.
  • The cards that my family members are sending me telling me things will get better.
  • Chocolate covered cherries.
  • Steve. For still being my friend.
  • The nurse at work who looks like mom and lets me hug her when I'm sad.
  • The pretty pink pills that my doctor prescribed yesterday to help me to stop crying and maybe even sleep through the night.
  • Wendy. For saying the F word a lot with me while she was here (and on the phone this afternoon). She understands how therapeudic it is.
  • The quarter I found in my jewelry box, of all places. It's laundry day and I was one measly quarter short.
  • Seinfeld. Because no matter how bad I'm feeling, it will make me laugh. Without a doubt.
  • Crazy Aunt Purl's blog. Someone forwarded it to me and I'm addicted. She's written about every emotion I've gone through for the last few months. I don't know her, but I know her.
I'm sure there's more I could list, if I felt like sitting on this really hard dining room chair for a little longer. But my tush hurts and the couch is calling me. It's almost time for Seinfeld.

Happy Turkey Day.
Gobble gobble.


Anonymous said...

Hey - I came across a saying that is pretty good: "Powerful is the person who can master others...More powerful still is he who can master himself." You are doing fine...keep up with the "Yogi," way of viewing things and don't be afraid to step out on to the ice when you have a chance (who knows? You might meet a handsome firefighter who saves you if you fall thru!!).

Anonymous said...

Hey have you tried the kleenex with Vicks Vapor in them? They are the shizzznit!