Spoke to mom an hour or so ago. She and dad are just watching the LIVE BREAKING TEAM COVERAGE! on Channel 13. They got all of their patio furniture in, as well as the neighbors'. And Goober is freaking out. He's knows something is wrong, but can't figure what. He keeps looking for his girlfriend, Ms. Squeaky. Mom is hoping that she'll show up soon so she can hunker down with them. Hunker. Ha.
Mom sent this to me today, forwarded from a friend of her's on the east coast. I thought it was from her firm. They're funny like that.
Office Procedures Concerning Storm and Office Closings
As we watch the progress of the storm, the following are the firm's guidelines based upon the hurricane's intensity:
Hurricane Category #1
No excuse for being late. Leave earlier to give extra time to avoid fallen trees and limbs.
Hurricane Category #2
Due to the horizontal rain, you may wear jeans.
Hurricane Category #3
Whereas most of the area will be flooded, we suggest you avoid wearing open toe sandals when coming to work. Canoes will be provided to get to the building safely without getting wet.
Hurricane Category #4
More than likely, there will be no electricity. Given that, we will have manual typewriters available to all staff members. Please take extra caution and wear waterproof makeup if Category 4 or above.
Hurricane Category #5
Velcro will be provided to keep you attached to your chairs when the windows blow out. For those who survive, we will have chocolate cake at 3:00 P.M. in the cafeteria.