Starbuckers

Every morning, on my drive to work, I come down Westlake past McCormick's and the Starbucks drive-thru. And every morning, I end up playing a game where I have to decide if the car in front of me is a Starbucker or not.

As you're coming down Westlake, there's a light at the Starbucks. And if there is a car turning left at that light to get to the Starbucks, it backs up traffic. So we non-Starbuckers have to decide if the yellow VW bus in front of us is going to try and turn left to go to Starbucks. If we think so, we dart into the right lane to get around the left turners.

I'm not proud of my blatent stereotyping, but hey, whatever makes my drive entertaining, and helps me avoid sitting behind a line of cars trying to turn left at an intersection that is way too busy that early in the morning. Sometimes the cars are polite and put their turn signal on well in advance. But sometimes, they're assholes and wait until we're all stopped at the red light, then as soon as the light turns green, they flip on their left turn signal.

That makes me mad. Because now there's a line of cars flying by me on the right and I can't get around the Starbucker, so I'm stuck and have absolutely no chance of getting through the green light. I have to sit there and wait until it's yellow, then the Starbucker can finally turn left and now I'm sitting through another red light.

So I judge the cars. Work trucks, most pick up trucks and Toyotas do not patronize Starbucks. At least, not this particular one. Hondas, Hyundais and Mercedeses are a crapshoot. Never can tell with them.

But Lexuses, Audis and SUVs always turn into the Starbucks. Yes, always. One of these days I'm going to have someone in the car with me and I'm going to very casually make a $50 bet with them that that Lexus SUV will turn left. And they will, and my passenger will be amazed at my magical ability to predict the future. And I'll make $50.

Now, no need to email and say you drive a Lexus, SUV or Audi and you don't go to Starbucks. I'm just telling you what happens on my drive to work. Same people, every morning. People are creatures of habit. I, too, get my coffee every morning without fail. Except I only spend $1.15 rather than $3. And I drive a Hyundai, so that puts me in that crapshoot category so if I have 10 extra minutes and feel like a treat in the morning, I will pop into Starbucks.

But I put my turn signal on WELL in advance. Because I'm good like that.