Random Thoughts

I started taking prenatal vitamins. I call them my baby pills. Which makes Todd laugh and cringe at the same time. No, I’m not trying to get pregnant. Although I have this secret fear that taking prenatal vitamins makes my body pregnant. Todd assures me that’s not how it works.

I just want my hair and nails to be healthy and pretty.

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I’m also using moisturizing body wash now, in order to make my skin silky smooth and hydrated. My Big Ass Wedding Book told me to. And I must listen to The Big Ass Wedding Book.

Although, I’m not a body wash kinda gal. I was raised on soap and a wash cloth. The loofa is weird and I can’t keep a hold of it. And it just doesn’t feel like it’s getting me clean, especially after this particularly hot and stinky week. But my skin is smoother, and Todd says I smell good, so I guess it’s okay.

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Speaking of the wedding, I had a dream last night that it was the wedding day but everything was off. Todd was watching me get into my gown and I was thinking, “He’s not supposed to see me yet!” And my hair was down, but pulled back a little (not at all what I had in mind) and I didn’t have earrings but I thought, “Oh well. Who will notice?” Ha! Not at all like me. Then I couldn’t find my Schedule Enforcer, Julie, and was thinking maybe she didn’t even show up, and the hair and make up gal wasn’t there, so I was trying to put on enough eyeliner to do that smoky thing.

But I also noticed my dress was a smidge looser. That made me happy.

Eventually, I realized everything was awry because we had moved the wedding up. By a couple of months. Then everyone started leaving, but they were walking across my very long train (unlike my dress) and I was gathering up it in my arms yelling, “THIS IS A THOUSAND DOLLAR DRESS, PEOPLE! GET OFF MY TRAIN! YOU GUYS SUCK!”

Weird, no?

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And one other wedding note, due to timing issues, the part of the Best Lady will now be played by Kim (aka Kim-n-Tim-Milo). Not to worry, Jamie and I are a-okay.

Kim, however, is very enthusiastic and has made the mistake of telling me she welcomes my barrage of wedding emails. So she may end up quitting before the big day. We’ll just see how much she really loves this stuff.

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General life update: our house hasn’t sold (dammit!), we still haven’t heard back from the bank regarding the new house, and things with the boy are calm and pleasant. I’ve seen Kayleigh for maybe two hours total since Sunday. She’s been at her friend’s and then at rehearsal until 11:00pm. Quite the flourishing butterfly she is.

And I’ve been having crackers or a bagel for breakfast, noodles for lunch and pasta for dinner for too many days in a row. I need some vegetables.

And it's darn near chilly today. Thank goodness.

Warning! Baby Meter at 274%

Rachelle and I stopped by to see her new nephew last night after our walk.

And I held the baby.

Bad decision for someone whose eggs are already trying to fertilize themselves because they are jonseing for offspring. Very bad decision.

Because last night, I dreamed that a doctor was shoving eggs (apparently the size of chicken eggs) into my uterus, but the eggs were in a styrofoam cup, complete with plastic lid. I can't remember if there were straws. She got four of them in and went for another and I said, "Are those all going to fit?!" She laughed and said, "Oh yes. Don't worry. Women do this all the time." Someone was there holding my hand, but I can't remember who.

I understand the whole putting-eggs-in-the-uterus part, but what's up with the styrofoam cups?

Dream Moods has nothing for styrofoam cups.

Know What Happens When You Eat Bacon For Dinner?

Just bacon?
You dream of Bono. Try it sometime.

At first, he was just a random producer (this is a direct result of a craigslist ad. A producer posted an ad under Rants and Raves asking why he wasn't he getting laid as often as he thought he would, being a producer and all. Women should be falling at his feet! But they're not!). We were laying on the floor, looking at old concert footage of bands. Then U2 appeared on the screen and I said, "Wait. Is that here [in Seattle]?" He said yes, at the somethingerother, a very small venue downtown. I asked how U2 could have possibly played that venue. There would be way too many people. The producer told me this footage was from the 80s, before they were huge (forget the fact they were already huge in the 80s). I understood how special this footage was. I was in awe.

Then I was laying next to Bono. It was all very PG, Bono's a stand up guy so he's not going to cheat on his wife. As a matter of fact, the phone rang while we were cuddling and he answered it "Hello dahling...." Such a nice man.

Anywho, then we pulled out the couch to go to sleep and he set up the playpen in the corner, then he magically disappeared and replaced by some old lady in a house dress who was mumbling about the ceiling and how it was going to burst at any minute and there were six TVs in the little kitchen, all of them tuned to a different station, and I asked if we could maybe turn them off and she said "After christmas."

No more bacon for dinner.
And maybe I should go grocery shopping.

More Dreams

Because I know you love this stuff.

I'll just give you the important points, because the one from Thursday night is getting a bit hazy. But I still remember some bold details.

I was staying with someone and they wanted payment in pills. I don't know what kind of pills, but I handed him a baggie of pills. So did the other girl that was staying there. Then the guy said I didn't pay him, so I gave him another baggie of pills. But the girl found the other baggie I gave him so I took my baggie back.

From Dreammoods.com:
To see a pill in your dream, signifies a restoration of your inner harmony. It is a period of healing and an end to those negative ideas in your mind.

Woohoo! Gettin' my inner harmony back!

Then, Jason Lee from My Name Is Earl was there. He was driving me and a little boy around, but he was drunk and we were scared. When he stopped, the boy and I ran into a feed shop (no idea) and the little boy was upset because he thought he had killed Dan Rather. So I was consoling him saying, "No, no. You didn't kill him. He just had to go. Really. It's okay..."

Dream Moods has nothing for Dan Rather.

Last night, I dreamed I was in an outpatient rehab. I would go to work, the go home to this dorm like place. But then I decided I wanted to escape, so I called Kim-n-Tim. Tim was going to meet me out behind the cafeteria to pick me up. Forget the fact that it's outpatient and I can apparently leave whenever I want.

From Dream Moods:
To dream that you are in a rehabilitation center, indicates that you are ready for a fresh new start. You are rebuilding a new self-image.

I also remember that I was wearing my inside slippers outside. And I was annoyed with myself. My dad bought me these furry slippers when I was home and they're fantastic. So they are now my inside slippers. They've never touch outside dirt. I have other slippers for that - ones that I wear down to the laundry room. But in my dream I had on these inside slippers outside. And I kept thinking, "Well great, I have to buy new inside slippers now."

(Slippers looks weird after you type it a hundred times.)

From Dream Moods:
To see or wear slippers in your dream, suggests that you are feeling sluggish and/or insecure. You feel that you do not have a strong foothold in some situation. Alternatively, it represents domesticity, ease, comfort, and/or relaxation. This dream symbol may mean that you need to relax. Or you are relaxing too much and are being lazy.

That's really not very clear, is it? I choose to think I feel like I do not have a strong foothold in some situation. And that I need to relax. I am not being lazy. My therapist told me so.

Then I was at a crafts fair of somesort, and it was closing down. But I was hanging out with this little boy who said I had a nice ass. Huh. Then there were stores, tried to go to Target but it was closed, met with a famous sculpter and told him my sculptures weren't going very well (knowing full well I did not sculpt. I just wanted to meet this guy. And someone was in on it. I can't remember who) and the sculpture gave me a hug and the bag I was holding caught fire.

From Dream Moods:
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolizes destruction, passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering your life. Your thoughts and views are changing. In particular, if the fire is under control or contained in one area, it is a metaphor of your own internal fire and inner transformation. It also represents your drive and motivation.

To dream that you are fighting flames, signifies that you will need to invest your best efforts and energy in your road to success and wealth.

To dream that you put out a fire [which I did], signifies that you will overcome your obstacles in your life through much work and effort.

Then there were messes. Three very particular rooms that were messy. Mom and I were cleaning out one because someone had died. There were a ton of really ugly, black, frilly dresses. One of the rooms was Steve's room, and then one was my room. But I didn't know which was which, so I didn't know which one to clean. I started to clean one, then thought, "No. He's going to want this room." So I messed it back up again. Then started cleaning the other one.

Dream Moods has crashed and won't let me search anymore. Apparently, it hates it when I remember my dreams, too.

Yet Another Odd Dream

I'm in an office building, in front of the elevators, with a very cute, gay co-worker. A girl I knew from high school, Heather, is with us. His normally black hair is gray. Apparently he and Heather dated before he came out but they were still friends. And he was wearing a white captains hat. Yes, it's important.

So then we're on a bus with a few other people. Heather's gone. We're driving up a road that winds along the ocean. And his captain's hat is on the floor. And there's a snake in it. I'm freakin' out yelling SNAKE SNAKE SNAKE and it's small, but it's a rattlesnake. He reached down to grab the snake and it jumped up and bit him. On the inside of his mouth, on his cheek. I have no idea.....

Then, after a while, he started looking sick, so I said we should really find a hospital. I could see (inside his mouth) that the bite had black edges. Again, I think this is an important detail. Somehow I know that there is a hospital just up the road, or just down the road. Oddly enough, I remember this area from another dream (I dream ALOT). But then I ask him, "Wait. Are we in Portland or Los Angeles?" He says "Los Angeles" and I say, "Oh, then yes, I know where we are. Hospital is up this way."

The group, the whole time is a bit annoyed with me because they just want to keep driving, but I'm very worried about him and insist we find this hospital. We ask a nice couple, they give up directions, we're suddenly in a sample sale of lingerie for extremely large breasted women. There's a counter with a very large blond woman behind it and I ask her "Is this the hospital?" She says yes. I ask "Do you have an emergency staff on hand?" She says she doesn't know. Meanwhile, he's laying on the ground at my feet, curled around my legs, looking very sick and pathetic. And somehow he got codine so he's a little out of it [I think the codine is directly from Without A Trace last night. A woman snuck codine that was sewed into her hair scrunchie into a prison for her friend. I never watch that show, but I did and I guess it stuck with me].

Then I tell the blond lady what happened to him and that she should call a code blue, and I ask "Do you even know what a code blue is?!" She says no. [This is directly from Gray's Anatomy last night. Guy's choroidal artery blew (that's the one in the neck, right?) and Dr. Gray was applying towel after towel to keep the bleeding at bay and she finally said to call a code blue and the guy says "Code blue? That's bad, right?" and the other docs get a little miffed at her for calling a code blue when the guy is still conscious.]

Suddenly, he's feeling much better and all is well. Then I wake up.

Don't you guys love this shit?

So, I looked up a couple of pertinent symbols:

"To dream that you are buying or shopping for lingerie, indicates that you are compensating for your inner feelings of emptiness. You may be trying to fulfill some sexual/emotional need. Alternatively, you may be seeking to change your image and attitude. You may feel one way on the inside but behave another way on the outside."

Sounds right on to me. Sure, I'm empty and I have emotional needs. We won't talk about my sexual needs because my mother reads this. And yes, I feel like my image is changing.

"To see a rattlesnake in your dream, represents the passage of time.
To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you.? Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. The snake may also be seen as phallic and thus symbolize dangerous and forbidden sexuality. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes."

Again, with the sex. What the hell?