My Baby Meter

My baby meter seems to be a hot topic of discussion, now that Todd and I are officially engaged.

More specifically, many people are asking "When are you going to get pregnant!?"

(Or most recently, "Are you pregnant?!" To them, I say - Uh, you obviously have not seen me this weekend - bachelorette party (one raspberry lemon drop and three jack-n-cokes) and engagement party (xxx number of glasses of wine, champagne and port)).

So, it looks like I should address the topic point blank.

Todd and I do not plan to have any babies.

Yes, my baby meter was running on high in the months before we met, but when Todd and I started dating, a funny thing happened. I got the family I had been wanting. I have my little girl who wants my help with girly stuff, I have my teenage boy who headbutts me but I think secretly likes it when I put my foot down.

I do not need to give birth to a baby. I still love the babies. Got my baby fix Saturday night at the party and believe that, under the influence, I offered to babysit any freakin' time they needed. But, really. I'm good now. I have my family. And in a mere six years, Kayleigh will be graduating high school and leavin' the nest. The thought of starting from square one and raising a baby does not sound appealing to me anymore. Raising two half grown kids is exhausting enough.

So, now we can focus on the important stuff.
Hows about these shoes?

Weekend Update

So, where did we leave off?

Right. Got back to Seattle Thursday night and was picked up by Todd and two very excited children. I think they missed me.

And found this photo on my camera, which I had left behind.

Ruby got a bath. I don't know if the kids helped, but they sure look proud of someone's work, don't they?

Swigged some good cough syrup, updated Todd on the trip, and went to sleep. And slept really hard. Finally.

Then came Friday. My very last vacation day.

Sniff.

Todd, Kayleigh and I got some Starbucks, shopped around a little, then K and I came to my apartment to switch out vacation clothes for Seattle clothes. Then Todd and I spent some quality adult time (sans children) that night.

And I got a call from Daniela! She and Sergio were in town for a few days, so we made a plan to meet up Saturday evening.

Saturday was completely unproductive. It was beautiful out, but Todd and I couldn't seem to get motivated to do much of anything. And it was wonderful.

That evening, we had dinner with D & S.

Jonah & Daniela

Oliver (aka Diego) & Sergio

Kayleigh was enjoying baby time as well.

That evening, we were all tired, so we lounged and watched "Batman Begins" since I haven't seen it and we're going to see "The Dark Knight" when it comes out. My opinion? I don't think I'm a big Christian Bale fan. Something about him. And I think I'm so used to Tim Burton's Batman movies (over the top and comic book like), that this one just seemed boring. I'm still looking forward to "The Dark Knight" though.

Anywho.

Sunday, I had every intention of leaving Todd's early so I could spend some time in my own space. I haven't been home in over a week and I miss my space. I miss my smells. And you know how sensitive I am about smells.

Slight tangent:

The word "hyperosmia" is one of the top google searches that leads to my blog. There are a lot of people out there who want to know what this word means. And when you google the word, my blog comes up on the second page of results.

And one of the other top searches that leads to my blog are the phrases "alone vs lonely" or "how to deal with being alone". There are quite a few people who are wondering how to deal with loneliness. And to these people, I give you a hug. It sucks being lonely. But it gets better. Reach out to your friends who keep calling and emailing. They wouldn't offer to comfort you if they didn't want to. I tried the whole don't-inconvenience-anyone-when-I'm-sad-because-that-makes-me-dependent and that was just plain stupid. It just made life worse. My friends offered to come over and comfort me and I kept saying "No, no, I'll be fine. Really."

But you know what? As soon as I just started giving in and letting them comfort me, it got better. And it doesn't make you dependent. It doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong. Because you have the courage to ask for help. Sounds weird, but it's true. Trust me.

Where was I?

Oh yes. I had every intention of going home early yesterday, but after brunch with Todd's brother and his wife, a nap was much needed (freakin' crows squawking at 6am). Then I got all clingy and cuddly and well, I finally left at 6:30pm.

Clingy and cuddly is a good thing. I have quite the wall up. Todd and I are both well aware of this. I've been kicked in the gut a few times this past year (and I haven't blogged about it so you'll just have to take my word for it) by men who said all the right things and promised all the right things, just when I was broken enough to believe it. My friends told me it was wrong. They tried to warn me. But I didn't listen because I wanted so very badly to believe that it was right.

So, I have a wall up. And I'm hesitant to trust my instincts, because they've let me down in a major way recently. But little by little, the bricks are falling out of the wall. Little by little I'm starting to trust in a good thing. All signs point to happy. For me to step out from behind the wall to be clingy and cuddly is a big step. And it made for a fantastic weekend.

Warning! Baby Meter at 274%

Rachelle and I stopped by to see her new nephew last night after our walk.

And I held the baby.

Bad decision for someone whose eggs are already trying to fertilize themselves because they are jonseing for offspring. Very bad decision.

Because last night, I dreamed that a doctor was shoving eggs (apparently the size of chicken eggs) into my uterus, but the eggs were in a styrofoam cup, complete with plastic lid. I can't remember if there were straws. She got four of them in and went for another and I said, "Are those all going to fit?!" She laughed and said, "Oh yes. Don't worry. Women do this all the time." Someone was there holding my hand, but I can't remember who.

I understand the whole putting-eggs-in-the-uterus part, but what's up with the styrofoam cups?

Dream Moods has nothing for styrofoam cups.

Quiet Ballard Woman Strangles Upstairs Neighbor. News at 11.

I think Esther (aka Ms. Eybrows From Hell) is an insomniac. Or just a bitch. She woke me up at 2:30am, clomping around. Then again at 5:30am. NO ONE screws with my sleep. NO ONE. Especially a little five foot tall chick who APPEARS to weigh only 110 pounds but is secretly packin' an extra 50 pounds in her feet. AIN'T HAPPENIN'. There will be a talking to this evening.

So, try as might, I'm just cranky. I hate being cranky. Makes for a miserable day. And it makes me want wine. Lots and lots of wine.

But Nichole has suggested we head to World Wrapps for lunch. You know what that means! Bento box! Life will be so much better after that. And I have my walk with Rachelle this evening, during which we will pop in and see her knew nephew, whose name I can't remember because it starts with an "X" but it's not Xavier. I think it's something warlocky or witchcrafty.

Anywho.

Bento box, walk, baby time.
It's all good.

I will not let Esther ruin my day.....

Quiet Weekend

Not a whole lot to report from Raechelle-land.

I just cancelled my Match membership. I had made a tentative date for this evening with one of the three guys I met, but he ended up falling to the bottom of the priority list and, honestly, I'd rather just go to bed than meet up with him. That, my friends, is a clear sign.

I did make a plan to meet up with Match guy #2 this week. We'll refer to him as SanFran Man, since he just moved up here from San Francisco in November. He's low energy. At our date two weeks ago, we just babbled about random stuff the whole night. It was easy and there was never really that awkward silence. So, meeting up and having a drink doesn't really stress me out. The other guy? Stresses me out.

And then there was a third date that I may have just failed to mention altogether. Totally not worth the energy it would take to tell you how icky it was.

**********

I just went upstairs and introduced myself to Esther, my new neighbor. Nice girl. Eyebrows so shapely and pointy you think they're going to fly off her face and stab you. And she plays guitar and sings. Heard her last night. So we talked about singing and playing.

I did not ask about her laundry day. I think I'm just going to drop my off at the wash and fold place tomorrow.

**********

Yesterday afternoon, I went to Burien (shoot me) to see Nichole's final wedding dress selection. She did good. The dress is beautiful. And believe it or not, I found yet another wedding dress that I would not be opposed to wearing, should that mythical wedding day ever happen in my lifetime.

*sigh*

No, no one has applied to be my Sugar Daddy or my Baby's Daddy. Maybe someone could check the "Email Me!" link. Just to be sure it's working?

**********

I took little Milo for a walk today. And I very cleverly roped Jamie into going with us. Only after she agreed that a walk would be a good idea, did I ask her "Do you mind if we take a 9 month old cutie pie with us?" Bad, aren't I?

I don't think she minded too much as she oohed and ahhed over him and even took pictures with her phone. Yes, I think she had an okay time.

**********

Then I met up with an old friend, K-Ski (I'm getting good at the monikers, huh?). I think we'd last seen each other in August, so she asked to get all caught up. I told her about the fiasco and the shit that hit the fan and at the end she just said, "Wow, Raechelle. And look at you now! You're doing great! Good for you!"

That's exactly what I needed to hear.

**********

And here we are.

I haven't slept much the last two nights, so I'm looking forward to taking a soakie and then just crashing. I have every evening this week booked. Jessica stays tomorrow, walking (hopefully) on Tuesday, San Fran Man maybe Wednesday, maybe a movie on Thursday.

**********

And a special end note:

Shaun bought me a chocolate bunny for easter.
Everyone now: Ahhhhhhh

Except he forgot to give it to me when I was over there last Sunday evening.
Everyone now: For shame!

It's not hollow, but it's chocolate and it's a bunny and that's all that matters.

Warning! Baby Meter at 124%

Jamie and I walked over to one of the other cafeterias for lunch and seated next to us was one of the most BEAUTIFUL BABIES EVER PRODUCED.

Swear To Gawd.

Black, curly hair and these huge blue eyes. He had just woken up and was in that clingy-bury-his-face-in-his-mom's-chest kinda mood. I looked at Jamie and sighed, "Yeah, I could spit one of those out." My ovaries are still screaming.

If you would like to apply to be my baby's daddy, please click the Email Me! link to the side. A picture of yourself will speed up the interview process.

Weekend Update....Still in Progress

Friday night, the Sheauns and I went to the Christoff Gallery in Georgetown to hear Paul Benoit and Chris Chandler play. I didn't know much about Paul, but after seeing in twice in one month, I like him a lot. McP bought his cd and it's already uploaded into iTunes.

Saturday afternoon, Kim and Milo came over.

Isn't he just the cutest? Kim left him here for a few minutes while she walked around the block. She wanted to see how he would do with someone new. He didn't even notice she was gone. And he knows me now. When she hands him to me, he buries his face in my shoulder and grabs onto me. Baby lovin'. Fantastic.

That evening, I went over to McP's to watch a couple of movies. One of which was Pirates of the Caribbean 3. I'd seen the first one. Very good. Missed the second one, but McP said it was good.

The third one? Oh my gawd.

I couldn't understand any of the dialog and had no idea what the point of the thing was. And two hours and forty minutes? Are you freakin' kidding me? Am I just old now? Remember when movies used to be a mere hour and a half? Just long enough so that you were thankful it was over, but not long enough to make your back hurt from all that sitting? Oy.

We also watched Family Guy's Star Wars movie. Only an hour long. And hysterial. I'm all about cheap humor.

Sunday, grocery shopping. Woohoo. And it was just beautiful here! Blue skies, 60 degrees.

Sunday night, pool (finally!) with the Sheauns. Until all the balls got stuck in the table and we couldn't play anymore. Home by 10pm. Yuck.

And today, beautiful again! Rachelle and Val are talking about going to a movie. Rachelle has had the flu for about three weeks now, so even though she says she's up for it, I don't think she's going to be. I need to make some calls and coordinate. Yes, it's a holiday from work, but I'm still coordinating gatherings. It's just who I am now.

Baby Meter

My baby meter is high today. I'm at about 98% in favor of an offspring.

I went to Blue C for lunch and there was a couple and their three year old boy sitting next to me. They were feeding him bits from the rolls with their chopsticks and he was sooooooo excited. He'd see the chopsticks coming and open his mouth really wide and wiggle in his seat. Just adorable.

And I love that they're exposing him to sushi at such a young age. He wasn't eating big chunks of raw fish, but the avocado from the california rolls and the tofu from the tofu rolls. I think they fed him some krab (fake crab) but they stopped at the spicy tuna. The dad would say "No, this isn't baby food. It's big people food." So cute.......

What the hell is happening to me? Thirty-two hits and suddenly babies are cute instead of annoying.

Crap.