We're Gonna Need More Rope

I said to Jamie months ago that I loved my apartment so much that I was going to need something bad to happen that will make me want to leave it. And Jamie, being the optimist she is, said, “How about needing something good to happen to make you WANT to leave it?”

That’s why I love her.

So, while yes, there are good things happening that make me WANT to move in with Todd, a bad thing has happened to make me want to leave my apartment.

Potato, potahto.

Last night, I discovered that I have a new downstairs neighbor. That’s what I get for not being home for the last 10 weekends. It was the recent loud music that made me suspicious. Suzanne, my former downstairs neighbor, was very quiet. Hermit-like. So, Monday, when I heard the thudding music, I just thought Suzanne was feeling a bit perkier than normal. That’s cool. Even heard some booming male voices. You go, girl!

But then there was loud music Tuesday night. Until about 11pm. Suzanne told me, when I introduced myself to her last year, that she went to bed early and got up early. Huh. Maybe she changed jobs.

But then. Music again last night. Many booming voices last night. Maybe Suzanne has turned her apartment into a brothel. Maybe she now has male clients. I’m all for small businesses, so good luck to you, Suzanne. Just turn the music down a little. That beat doesn’t really sound like bellyrubbin’ music, anyway. Too fast.

At 11:30pm though, it occurred to me that this was a new pattern. And I haven’t been home much lately, so if Suzanne had moved out, I probably wouldn’t have noticed. So I put my jammies on and went to the mailboxes.

Sure enough. No more Suzanne. Now it’s K. Somethingerother. Kevin? Kasey? Who knows. I do know that he likes rap music. And he doesn’t go to bed very early.

So, now we’ve got Esther, her heavy feet and her drum upstairs and K., his buddies and his rap music downstairs. Sigh.

You know where I’m going with this, don’t you?

The Universe is hanging up more red, velvet rope.
“This way, please…..that’s it….right this way.…”

But you know what? I’m one up on her.
I turned in my Notice to Vacate letter today.

I'm moving in with Todd on November 8th.

Weekend Update

Mondays are so much better when you get smoochies as you leave for work. By your boyfriend, not just by some random neighbor that you've accosted. Trust me on that.

As mentioned in said boyfriends' blog, Friday was dinner with Kenni and Joel. Sneaky, sneaky Joel.

But before dinner, Todd and I went to Target to get me a nightguard. Look at me, actually following a professional's advice. Well, I got two sport mouthguards. One for my place, one for Todd's place, because I'm one of those tramps now who keeps her shampoo, soap, toothbrush and deodorant at her boyfriend's house. We haven't progressed to clothing yet, so you parents can just settle down. It's just toiletries at this point. And mouthguards.

Speaking of which, could this picture BE any cuter:

Tiny little girly deodorant, and big manly tall deodorant. That's me and Todd, in a nutshell. And no, I'm not afraid to show you our deodorant. So there.

Where was I?

Oh, mouthguards.

So I bought two of them, and did the whole boiling thing and, holy crap, those things are HUGE. There is no way I would be able to sleep with that huge chunk of....whatever..... in my mouth. I'd rather just go for the root canal. One time shot, lots of good drugs afterwards.

But, upon further consideration, I tried my whitening tray that I got a few years ago. Same concept. Plastic, molded to my teeth. I used it Saturday night and wala! No headache Sunday morning. I'll try it for a couple of weeks and see if the pain lets up. I'll keep you posted. Because I know you're just on the edge of your seat, aren't you?

So after the mouthguard experiment, off to dinner. I'm going to forget to mention the Raechelle's-an-idiot-and-walked-into-the-men's-room-AGAIN-story. Unlike Todd. Thanks, babe.

Saturday was a Bellingham trip. Farmer's market, meeting Todd's sister and niece, then lunch and shopping with his mom and a visit with his grandparents. Then I branched off and met up with Jamie for din din, and back home where I tried to stay up for Saturday Night Live, but was unable. Because, apparently, I am no longer a young whipper snapper.

Esther had friends over around 8:30 Sunday morning, so I was awake bright and early. It seems they were hanging out in her bedroom and bathroom which is, of course, right above my bedroom and bathroom, and they were quite chipper (and loud). So I tried to be optimistic and take it as a sign to get my day started. Four cups of coffee helped.

That afternoon, I visited with Kim, Tim and Milo for a bit. Then Kim accompanied me to Macy's for a quick shopping trip, including the dreaded bathing suit search since I'll be in beautiful California for a week. And, I swear to gawd, not one bottom that I tried on covered my butt. And you know my butt ain't that big. The suits are just getting smaller and smaller. I told Kim, if I wanted my ass to show, I'd just go naked. What's the point in spending $60 on a suit when I'm hardly covered? So, bathing suit shopping was a bust.

On the way home from shopping, Ruby almost got creamed by a very large and green minivan. That thing wanted in my lane something fierce, so to get out of her way, we went up on the curb. Scared the crap out of all of us. I think Ruby was actually shaking on the rest of the drive. So, to calm her down, I took her to Brown Bear and gave her a good washing and vacuuming. She seemed okay after that. Poor baby....

And then back to Todd's for dinner. But first, a quick trip to Marshall's, just to see if maybe they had any bathing suits left. And wouldn't you know it? Found a suit. That is the exact same style and cut as the one I just gave to Goodwill four months ago. Perfect. This one is brown and blue though. I tell you this because you probably will not ever see a picture of me in it. Unless I'm drunk. Which, let's face it, is not unheard of.

So, shopping, dinner, a nice chat with Tyler then Jim Gaffigan. Oh my gawd, Todd and I laughed until our throats hurt. He is freakin' hysterical. "Have you tried the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It's the Hot Pocket filled with a Hot Pocket. Tastes just like a Hot Pocket. Hot Pocket...."

What a nice way to end the weekend.

And here we are at Monday! Ack.

Actually, my day isn't too bad. Time flies when you....uh....don't work.

Oh, kidding, kidding. I work. Occasionally. Most of the time.
Rarely.

Wha....?

My Apologies To Esther

Oh, karma is going to punish me bad for this one.

I have not yet confronted my upstairs neighbor. After last week, and my very cranky post about being awaken in the middle of the night, things have been very quiet upstairs. There were a few nights when I didn't hear a peep and thought maybe Esther had spent the night somewhere else. I jokingly said to my friend that maybe she ran across my blog and read about my frustration.

Ha ha.
This may be exactly what happened.

If Esther is anything like me - a google queen - she has found my blog.
Because I found her's. And her myspace page.

Yes, Esther and I have a few things in common.

And now I feel horrible.

I'm not a bad person, Esther. I'm not normally a bitch. Really. I was quick to judge and quick to be mean. And I'm sorry. I should have just come upstairs and nicely explained the situation but I hate confrontation, HATE IT, and the only time I can actually do it is when I'm angry, and then I'm hateful, and well......

Again, I'm sorry.

You've been very quiet this last week and I really appreciate it. As long as the music, the drum and the pillow talk aren't loud too early (before 9am) or too late (after 11pm) I'm one of the nicest neighbors you'll ever have. I even bake cookies for everyone at christmas.

Hope we can be friendly again.

xoxo

PS The distorted pics of you and your friend made me laugh out loud.

Random Thoughts

The word "bullshit" is in a headline on CNN.com. For some reason, this shocked me. You just don't see that word on official news sites. Kind of like the first time they could say "ass" on a sitcom.

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Esther Update:

Esther has not been home for the last two nights. And if she has, she's not letting me know about it. I haven't heard a peep from upstairs. And it's been really nice.

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There is quite a battle for a certain parking spot in my lot at work. I've always parked in the same spot, up against a little flower planter area thingy. And then the maroon Honda Element parks next to me. And then red truck parks next to him. We have a system.

Then one day this big, new suburban was parked in my spot. Huh. Does she not know that I park here every morning? She must be new. And she also must arrive before 8am (and before me), because she parks there every morning now. It's screwed up the whole system.

Until last week, a brand new, even bigger suburban started parking there. And the smaller suburban was forced to park back in the corner. Ha! But still! It's my SPOT! Has been for two years!

Well, I got here early yesterday, and I beat them all. As I was getting out of my car, the bigger suburban whipped around and then realized that her spot wasn't open. I smiled at her.

But then I was late again this morning and I was forced to park back on the other side of the Honda Element.

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Yes, this is the most exciting thing going on in my life right now. Well, that I can actually blog about. My christ year is already proving to be quite interesting. Times, they are a changin'.

Stay tuned.......

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I've started wearing brown and black together. How do we feel about this? I'm undecided.

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Facebook annoys me.

I get this message that says "Someone has flirted with you on SpeedDate! Click here to see their message!" Well, of course I want to see who's flirting with me. But you can't see it until you invite 15 of your friends to sign up for this application. I don't want to do that to my friends. I just want to see the damn message!

So screw 'em. I got enough going on without some random weirdo on Facebook contacting me to say "Hey baby..."

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My 30 days are up! I CAN SHOP AGAIN!

But I shouldn't. I kind of like having a positive bank balance for a change. Oh, but I must celebrate. Somehow. Hmmm....

I'm thinkin' more undies. Nothing says celebration like lace!

Or nightstands.

**********

My Horoscope for today:

Yahoo:
This is a time to relish your personal freedom -- do something by yourself today.

Yep, all signs point to shopping.
Or a manicure.

I'm all about the signs....

Dear Esther,

WTF?

Things were going just fine since our little talk on Sunday.

Until 2:30 this morning. You and your man jumped out of bed, scurried around your apartment (waking Jessica up as well, who was asleep on the couch) and then proceeded to talk for TWO HOURS. At volumes well above what normal people would use at 2:30 in the morning. Earplugs could not drown out your man as he talked almost non stop, while you two apparently laid in bed. RIGHT ABOVE ME. Oh, he was on a roll about something. I ended up taking my pillow and blanket out into the living room and sleeping on the floor. Although, Jessica told me I should go up to your place and let you have it.

Esther, you have a very hard lesson coming to you. I don't have time to come speak with you tonight, but you can bet your ass tomorrow evening, I will be at your door. And I will send you down to my apartment, to stand in my bedroom, as I leap off of your bed and stomp around so that maybe you will get an inkling of what I deal with. I don't sleep well as it is and it does not help that you wake me up every freakin' night.

I have called the management office and warned them that I will be confronting you, once again, about these issues, in the event that you think I'm being a difficult neighbor. The management office has advised me to be aggressive, yet polite, in remedying this situation. Because once they get involved, it will be messy.

I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, Esther. I'm assuming you just don't know any better because you're used to the dorm life. Well, welcome to the real world, sweetie. I am not your den mother. I'm an adult paying a lot of money for my fantastic apartment and I will not let some twit like you keep me up every night and make me crotchety and bitter.

I look forward to speaking with you soon,

Your downstairs neighbor

Esther Has Been Confronted

And not by nice, pretty Raechelle either.
But by 8am-just-woke-up-against-my-will-seahawks-sweatshirt-didn't-even-brush-my-teeth-or-pick-the-crusties-out-of-my-eyes Raechelle.

Mad Raechelle.

I heard the music at 7:30am. Oh, for cryin' out loud. But I think I can still sleep, so I put in earplugs. They do wonders. Until the djembe starts.

Earplugs cannot help me when the djembe starts.

I, quite loudly, stomp up to Esther's apartment and, quite loudly, knock on her door. The music immediately stops. She says, "Who is it?"

I respond, without the least bit of friendliness in my voice (and you know how difficult that is for me *giggle*), "Your downstairs neighbor."

Esther opens the door, looking like she's going clubbing. Dressed in black from head to toe, high heeled boots on, her black hair, straightened and shiny. And more eye make up than I probably have in my whole arsenal of makeup. Why, is she off to church? I don't think so.

"Do you have djembe?" I ask.

"Oh. Yeah. Can you hear it?"

"Um. Yes. I'm right below you." I remind her.

"I had it on the floor and was just tapping on it."

"Yes, that's how a djembe works. And that would maybe be okay but not at 8am on a Sunday morning."

"And the music....?"

"I can hear it and again, probably okay. But not at 8am on a Sunday morning. How about not before 9am on any morning?"

Esther is now mortified. She has probably never lived in an apartment building in all of her 23 years. I'm thinking she's fresh out of the dorm where no one could hear her djembe over their music and everyone was just going to bed at 8am on a Sunday morning. Seems very likely.

Esther also doesn't have anyone living above her so she's not familiar with the concept of how sound and vibrations travel downward. Being a musician, you would think she would know this.

For the next ten minutes, all was quiet at Esther's. Then, as I began to type, I heard her leave. And literally tip toe down the stairs.

My job here is done.
Hopefully.

**Update**
I went back to bed and slept until 1:30pm. That'll show her!

Another Reason To Hate Raccoons

I was late to work this morning.
And no, it wasn't because of the margaritas last night.

It was because of a raccoon.

I woke up in the middle of the night and my clock beside my bed was blank. Power was off. Huh. Maybe I'm just dreaming.....

I hear Jessica (who uses her cell phone as an alarm) up and about and figure, okay, it's about 6:30am. My clock, however, says something like 2am. I'm very confused.

Go back to sleep.

Awakened by our favorite upstairs neighbor who has apparently gotten permission to install a basketball court in her bedroom. She's musical AND athletic!

I turn on the radio to hear Marty say it's time for the 7:20 funny. So it's 7:20am.

Crap.

All in all, only 20 minutes late. Not as bad as it could have been. Maybe I should actually thank Esther?

Esther Has A Drum

Oh, my neighbor just keeps getting better and better.

I stayed home today. The dizziness that hit last night is over and the headache itself is almost completely gone. I guess 16 hours of sleep is just what the doctor ordered. Well, maybe 14 hours of sleep. Because there was no sleeping this morning.

At about 9:45am I heard Esther's stereo come on. Fine, I thought. Actually, the first thought was "Does she not work? How does she afford rent?" Then she started singing. Still okay. Muted. I can handle it.

Then she started banging on a drum. A djeme from what I can tell. She's pretty strong for a little thing.

Half an hour later I heard one of the other doors slam in the building, someone on the stairs and then magically, the drumming stopped.

And I actually got some sleep.

It's been pretty quiet the rest of the day. So I got some solid hours in. Probably more solid than what I get at night.

But now, time to find food. I have awakened from hibernation and I'm famished. I must be on the mend.

Quiet Ballard Woman Strangles Upstairs Neighbor. News at 11.

I think Esther (aka Ms. Eybrows From Hell) is an insomniac. Or just a bitch. She woke me up at 2:30am, clomping around. Then again at 5:30am. NO ONE screws with my sleep. NO ONE. Especially a little five foot tall chick who APPEARS to weigh only 110 pounds but is secretly packin' an extra 50 pounds in her feet. AIN'T HAPPENIN'. There will be a talking to this evening.

So, try as might, I'm just cranky. I hate being cranky. Makes for a miserable day. And it makes me want wine. Lots and lots of wine.

But Nichole has suggested we head to World Wrapps for lunch. You know what that means! Bento box! Life will be so much better after that. And I have my walk with Rachelle this evening, during which we will pop in and see her knew nephew, whose name I can't remember because it starts with an "X" but it's not Xavier. I think it's something warlocky or witchcrafty.

Anywho.

Bento box, walk, baby time.
It's all good.

I will not let Esther ruin my day.....

Quiet Weekend

Not a whole lot to report from Raechelle-land.

I just cancelled my Match membership. I had made a tentative date for this evening with one of the three guys I met, but he ended up falling to the bottom of the priority list and, honestly, I'd rather just go to bed than meet up with him. That, my friends, is a clear sign.

I did make a plan to meet up with Match guy #2 this week. We'll refer to him as SanFran Man, since he just moved up here from San Francisco in November. He's low energy. At our date two weeks ago, we just babbled about random stuff the whole night. It was easy and there was never really that awkward silence. So, meeting up and having a drink doesn't really stress me out. The other guy? Stresses me out.

And then there was a third date that I may have just failed to mention altogether. Totally not worth the energy it would take to tell you how icky it was.

**********

I just went upstairs and introduced myself to Esther, my new neighbor. Nice girl. Eyebrows so shapely and pointy you think they're going to fly off her face and stab you. And she plays guitar and sings. Heard her last night. So we talked about singing and playing.

I did not ask about her laundry day. I think I'm just going to drop my off at the wash and fold place tomorrow.

**********

Yesterday afternoon, I went to Burien (shoot me) to see Nichole's final wedding dress selection. She did good. The dress is beautiful. And believe it or not, I found yet another wedding dress that I would not be opposed to wearing, should that mythical wedding day ever happen in my lifetime.

*sigh*

No, no one has applied to be my Sugar Daddy or my Baby's Daddy. Maybe someone could check the "Email Me!" link. Just to be sure it's working?

**********

I took little Milo for a walk today. And I very cleverly roped Jamie into going with us. Only after she agreed that a walk would be a good idea, did I ask her "Do you mind if we take a 9 month old cutie pie with us?" Bad, aren't I?

I don't think she minded too much as she oohed and ahhed over him and even took pictures with her phone. Yes, I think she had an okay time.

**********

Then I met up with an old friend, K-Ski (I'm getting good at the monikers, huh?). I think we'd last seen each other in August, so she asked to get all caught up. I told her about the fiasco and the shit that hit the fan and at the end she just said, "Wow, Raechelle. And look at you now! You're doing great! Good for you!"

That's exactly what I needed to hear.

**********

And here we are.

I haven't slept much the last two nights, so I'm looking forward to taking a soakie and then just crashing. I have every evening this week booked. Jessica stays tomorrow, walking (hopefully) on Tuesday, San Fran Man maybe Wednesday, maybe a movie on Thursday.

**********

And a special end note:

Shaun bought me a chocolate bunny for easter.
Everyone now: Ahhhhhhh

Except he forgot to give it to me when I was over there last Sunday evening.
Everyone now: For shame!

It's not hollow, but it's chocolate and it's a bunny and that's all that matters.

Laundry Stress Resolved!

I went upstairs last night to meet my neighbor. Her name is Sally. I introduced myself, made some small talk, then asked when her laundry day was. She said Wednesday, with a sigh. I said it's better than Friday, my day. She has meetings Wednesday evenings so that doesn't leave a lot of time to throw in a load. According to the sign above the washer and dryer (which I visited for the first time yesterday) laundry hours are 8am to 8pm. That just shortens the window even more.

So Sally asked *me* if *I* wanted to switch! I said sure!!
And then I thought, poor Sally, she must not have much of a social life if she wants Friday as her laundry day. Oh well, to each her own.

So now I don't have to worry about skipping out on Friday activities just to do laundry. Whew.