If I Had a Million Dollars....

I would hire a personal driver. Because 1) I absolutely HATE driving now and 2) I am paranoid as all get out. It's like everyone is too close to me, or trying to merge into me, or breaking in front of me for no reason, just so I'll run into them.

My hands hurt by the time I get because I've got a death grip on the steering wheel.

Oh, but I've discovered a cool little trick.

If you follow a bus or a semi or cement truck, people will go around you. No one wants to ride my ass when I'm doing 30 miles an hour behind a slow moving whatever. So when I'm feeling really paranoid and can't keep up, I find the truck or the bus and get behind them.

Yes, it takes me twice as long to get anywhere, but by gawd, I can relax a little as I just putter along.

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And another reason I now hate driving, especially downtown, is that one of my greatest fears came true yesterday.

I was driving to my doctor's appointment and came to a stop light. I was behind another car, waiting to turn right on red, when a weirdo dude on the sidewalk, kind of squatted down and looked at me through my front window. I saw him out of the corner of my eye, but completely ignored him. Then he crept closer to my car, about the same time I locked my doors, then he came up to my car, on the passenger side and bent down to look at me through the window.

And then he KNOCKED ON MY PASSENGER SIDE WINDOW.

Excuse me?! Who the hell do you think you are? Get the frick away from car, you nutjob!

I've always worried that one of the beggars on the street corners would come up to my car and knock on the window or try to open the door. So I always lock my doors if I'm coming up to a light and see someone standing there. But they've never bothered me.

I ended up nudging the car in front of me, so he'd turn right so I could turn right and speed away. And then I was right back in bumper to bumper traffic, so I went back to gripping the steering wheel like a mad woman.

Yes, once I win the lotto, I will post an ad for a driver. Contact me if you know anyone who would be interested in the job.

The First Hurdle

My new drive to work takes about 30 minutes. That's with normal 7:30 to 8:00am traffic. Throw rain or an accident in there, well, it's just a mess.

Which is what happened yesterday. There was a wreck in the Battery Street tunnel, which backed up Aurora (my normal route) for miles. So I took I-5, which really wasn't much better. It took me an hour to get to work.

So, last night I invested in a big thermos and I programmed the coffee maker to start perkin' at 6:40am. I got up at 6:15am, showered and beautified, made some coffee and was out the door by 7:00.

Total commute time: 23 minutes.
And now I get to leave at 4:00pm.

I figure, I have a new home, a new neighborhood, a new family. Why not a new work schedule?

We'll see how long I can keep this up. I may have to rethink my strategy when my head hits the desk at 3:00pm.

Pants That Fit, Fog, Rebellious Driving, Sappy Crap & Balsamic Vinegar

My day started out with putting on pants that actually fit! Some people are going to be so happy about this. My new, smaller jeans I bought back in July are now too big. Well, they're comfy. They're not flattering at all. But I bought a pair of green cords at Goodwill on Saturday that fit me W E L L. No more sagging seat area! And I'll have you know, now that I can see it, my ass is lookin' good.

Then I drove to work in a cloud. A big, thick cloud. I think I'd rather drive in snow. At least I can see two car lengths ahead of me.

And to add to the danger, I ran a red light. On purpose. Actually, the lady beside me and I both ran the red light. Safety in numbers, right? There's a light on Market Street that is specifically for pedestrians. Well, it turned red, we waited, no pedestrians........and then the light didn't change to green. The walk sign went back to the orange hand, but the light stayed red. I creeped up a little. The lady next to me creeped up a little. We looked at each other. We shrugged. We creeped up a little more. We looked at each other again. We smiled and nodded. We drove through the red light. I felt like I was in a gang.

Work is actually okay. Keeping busy, listening to the iPod, singing along. Being pro-ductive. Oh, I finally brought pictures to work. I've never had pictures at work. I had said after I got hired on directly (because I temped here for three months, then got hired on) that I would celebrate by personalizing my desk. Never happened. In May, I finally brought two pictures of me and Steve, and then we broke up, so in the trash they went. I think I took it as a bad omen. But now I have pictures of my folks and some of my friends and it brings a smile to my face to look at them. Reminds me that I'm loved.

Anywho, enought the sappy crap.

Now I'm waiting for my buddy to get her lunch break so we can walk down to World Wrapps and I can get a bento box. I shouldn't spend the money, but the soup I brought just doesn't look appealing. I don't know why I keep buying soup. I don't like soup. There's no accessories when you eat soup. It's just soup. Soup sucks. Unless you have a grilled cheese with it.

Speaking of lunch, the bistro is serving something that has balsamic vinegar in it. Which makes me nauseous (I have to look that word up every single time I try to type it). Steve used oil and balsamic vinegar for salad dressing and if he didn't rinse his bowl out right after we ate, it would just make me sick. I like the taste of it, but the smell is disgusting. I've moved the bottles of it at the Lockspot Cafe because people use it on their fish-n-chips so there's a bottle at each table. Even with the lid on, the smell creeps out.

Just something to know about me.